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Monday, March 31, 2008
1,591,006But who's counting?
9:04 am
Sunday, March 30, 2008
WE WAS CAMPING. IT WERE FUN.
4:16 pm
Friday, March 28, 2008
1,902,801 !!!Could
it be true? Have I really zoomed up the cyber charts from 6,080,352 to 1,902,801 in less than 3 weeks? I feel all tingly. I feel something grandiose could happen
any minute. I feel like a 3-legged goat could charge at me Right Now but the sheer chutzpah of my
force-field would render him useless. Useless! I could even take on a rabid emu. TWO rabid emus, even!!
And a moose with the mange.
Bring on the burnt rubber! Bring on the moldy donuts! I am Jannie -
keeper of the 1,902,801st most popular site IN THE WHOLE WEBBED WORLD.
Man, I'm going camping this weekend
to bring my head back down to earth.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
BACKYARD ADVENTURE 4
Even the dachshund's diggin' it.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
BACKYARD ADVENTURE 2 & 3Whatever could
be happening in our backyard? Building a mongoose hutch perhaps?
(What is a mongoose, anyway?)
Kelly was thrilled about getting to stir cement. In fact, she was so overjoyed with her first-ever
construction worker duties that all Sunday afternoon she went around beating her little fists on her chest while singing "I'm
a big tough guy. I'm a big tough guy - I am," to the melody of "It's A Hard-Knock Life" from
Orphan Annie.
Oh, so that's a mongoose. Kinda cute little feller.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
MIGRAINE ASS--WHOOPIN'Five
hours of my life forever gone but I survived !
Next time I'll pop those pills as soon as I feel the headache
coming on, not wait until my right eyeball bulges out, my teeth ache and I'm ready to puke on my pillow.
The
good thing about a migraine tho, is it makes me forget all about my crushed ribs, twisted hip and throbbing ankles.
Going to shower now, put on a little make-up, make-up, (make sure they get my good-side-good-side,) dress in something relatively cute and drive my Toyota Corolla off into what's left of the wild and promising
afternoon.
I HAVE WHOOPED THE ASS OF THE MIGRAINE AND ALL IS FINE !!!
BACKYARD ADVENTURE 1 Something's afoot in our backyard. What could it be? Stick with me to see.
6:46 am
Monday, March 24, 2008
3:00 A.M. PLANNAGE, WITH UNDERTONES OF WORRY6:00 ... Up, re-rinse clothes, shower & sunscreen
6:30 ... Clothes
in dryer, make lunches
7:00 ... Child up, take breakfast order
7:40 ... Leave
for carpool
8:30 ... Run like a bastard on the hike-n-bike, remember to smile
9:15
... Blessed coffee & muffin
10:00 ... 2 hours paperwork, including school fund-raiser, bank*
12:00 ... Guitar
1:00 ... Lunch / computering
2:00 ... More
fund-raiser work
3:00 ... Voice exercises / more guitar
4:00 ...
Cleaning / salad making
4:30 ... On the road again
* Don't forget
about the bank
Sunday, March 23, 2008
... AS A BUTTON
3:31 pm
A SWIRLING WHIRL
So I'm up eating jelly beans at 4:00 a.m., and managing to leave almost as many for The Child as I take
for myself, when I start thinking weirdish starlit thoughts.
In a passing flash I remember that I am made 100%
of atoms. Atoms! A swirling whirl of electrons am I, some of which have managed to shape themselves into eyes
and ears and hair and my dad's squiggley toes. And I marvel at the thought. I AM electrons
twirling 'round neuclei in a double-helix of God's design. I AM stardust. I am golden. Not only that, I'm one hell of a ballroom dancer.
Then I eat two more jelly beans.
I like the lemon and orange best.
I hope it won't rain on Easter Bunny's backyard parade.
But I doubt it will, as the night is dry and breezy. A night when happy ghosts are out and anything could happen.
Even sleep.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
... EVERYTHING WAS PERFECT, JUST AS IT SHOULD BE -- EXCEPT FOR ONE SMALL DETAIL THAT WAS "TUGGING" AT ME...
9:56 am
Thursday, March 20, 2008
A WHOLE NEW WORLD
2:17 pm
WARM APPLE CRUMBLE WITH VANILLA HAAGEN DAZS
I'd love to have me a big ol' helping of that Right Now. Wouldn't you? The kind where
the oatmeal is all crunchy-crisp and the ice cream is rock-hard from the freezer. (That's the way, uh-huh,
uh-huh, Jannie likes it.)
Uh-huh, uh-huh.
BBQ chicken would be nice too.
But the reality
is I'll be having peanut butter on Ezekiel bread. And orange juice. Maybe a banana. Which ain't BBQ chicken and fresh apple crumble with
vanilla Haagen Dazs, but it's a dozen damn-sights better than a poke to the pecs with a twisted twig or
a bop on the butt with a slice of coarse wheat bread. The kind of bread Laura and her family had to eat for three months straight. As in, that's all there was for them
to eat that Long Long Long Long Long Winter.
Amen.
Bon appetit.
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
SOMETHING LIKE WORKSo, what do I do all day besides write songs about wedgies?
Well.... I drive The Child to and
fro. I run, 3x a week. I talk to the cat. I sing to green things; today it was Chris DeBurg's "Say Good-Bye To It All" to a whole ball-field of baby grass blades doing their best to look brave amidst the plastic bottle caps and other
detritus of the 21st century.
Sometimes I walk across the street to the mailbox. Sometimes I take
a bath. Sometimes I nap.
I spin lettuce.
Once I even made a peanut butter sandwich!
Tuesday, March 18, 2008
WEDGIE WEDDING SHEET MUSIC ALMOST DONE. NOW BACK TO IT, JANNIE !
12:58 pm
SO HERE'S A WEIRD ONE...
I dream I'm back in high school, but I'm 43 and everyone else is still 18. (And I look
43 and they look 18.) The girls all have their Farrah Fawcett hair wings, except some of them have
Frida Kahlo brows, which I don't remember them having had back then, but maybe they did and I just wasn't very observant?
Anyway, about ten of us are slouching around what seems to be a biology lab work-station except we're
in the school's main lobby and it's night in dim light and the work-station is more like a bar. Some of
the kids are drinking beer. Some are smoking pot. Nobody's talking.
Then, suddenly a bolt
of terror streaks through me as I realize I'm supposed to be in class but I don't know which one and where.
And I know I'll never graduate unless I get there. So I run to my locker for my class schedule but I
can't find my locker. Can't find the right floor. Keep turning down blind hallways and climbing
Winchester stairs. And when I do finally find the locker, of course I can't remember the combination. Then I realize
I'm naked as my locker bursts open and out flies my ever-smiling French teacher, Mr Perron, (God
love him,) in a hot-pink cocktail dress and yellow Doc Maartens. He's carrying a silver tray
of champagne flutes and Bic pens.
Then I wake up. Thankfully. And remember I've actually
finished college.
Monday, March 17, 2008
5, 426, 6205, 426, 620 !!! Now, that's what I'm talking about, People. That's some serious Reach.
Stick with me, Kids, we'll break the top 100, 000 yet. There may be somebody wheeling
us around the halls of nursing homes by then, but by Golly -- we'll get there.
Yes!
10:41 am
SHADOWS & LIGHT
10:31 am
Sunday, March 16, 2008
NOVA SCOTIA CALLING?Worcestershire sauce! I just smelled worcestershire sauce, here at my laptop. On my bed.
Yet there is none of said sauce to be seen, or heard, let alone smelled around here.
This is weird. But then
again, so am I.
I think it's Nova Scotia calling. (A la recherche des smoked huitres
et du cheese-bread perdu.)
What else could it be? Why the heck else would I be smelling baking bread, baseball gloves
and wild road-roses in the least expected places lately?
Why?
11:43 am
Saturday, March 15, 2008
SCENT OF AN AUSTIN, TEXAS WOMANMy nose has been funny lately. I've been smelling things... like baking beans and bread in my car.
Newspapers in the bathtub. Baseball glove leather in the library. Oh, and those scrubby roses
that bloom in the gravel in the Northeast by the side of the road in August, those wild little things that
in a single petal pack the scent whallop of a thousand store-bought knock-offs? I've been smelling
those everywhere.
Is this normal?
And what can it mean?
My nose
is obviously trying to tell me something. But what? Long-lost longings? Weird scenes from inside the
gold mine?
What?
What?
What?
4:57 pm
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
6, 080, 352Hey, isn't the number supposed to be getting smaller?
11:07 pm
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
6, 076, 218That's my Alexa rank. It's all downhill from here, Baby!!
12:05 am
Monday, March 10, 2008
SQUEAKY
6:03 pm
Sunday, March 9, 2008
HOUSTON PUBLIC "REST" ROOMThe exterior, all nicely mirrored and...
THE INTERIOR...
One-Way Glass!
If this wasn't such a rinky-dink blog plan you'd
be able to leave a Comment here.
Tried inserting the following HTML to get Comments but it came up raw.
There has to be a way.
Jannie will perservere. I'm sure Dooce had to perservere.
<div class="js-kit-comments" permalink=""></div>
<script src="http://js-kit.com/comments.js"></script>
 DOOCE, By Kelly
9:13 am
Saturday, March 8, 2008
KIND OF UGLY IN A BEAUTIFUL WAYKelly and Eva were so not into my papparazzi scene yesterday at Radijazz but somehow I managed to capture Kelly in this moment of temporary calm.
And at a traffic light on the way home I caught a bunch of telephone poles, which in the gathering dusk
were kind of ugly in a beautiful way.
Someday I'm going to get me a super-great camera instead of the one I've been using, but for now the sheer genious of my photographer's eye will have to suffice.
7:06 am
THE MISSING KUNG FU PHOTOSI was just scanning over my posts from the past couple months and realized I'd pulled a dufus and inadvertantly
de-loaded a couple of photos, namely from my posts of January 10th and December 1st. I know exactly how I did it too
- overwrote the titles.
(Livin' and learnin'.)
And since my little Jannie
world won't be complete until I reload them... here they are:
Our angel, Kelly "Chuck Norris"
Sweet Pea.
Ahhh, much better now.
And below, one more for the road.
(The road to bed.) (To sleep.)
(Perchance to dream.) (Of happy things.)
Check out that instructor - already a black belt at 13 and the sweetest, most grown-up kid you could imagine.
(Kung Fu training is gud.) Thanks, Jim, for pushing me to get Kelly into it. You were right, as you sometimes
are on things, you big hunk of handsome husbandhood.
Jim - Him
11:02 pm
Friday, March 7, 2008
WILL IT GET MUCH BETTER THAN THIS?The wireless here at Radijazz is slow-to-nil but the Starbucks is free and the recycled theatre seat's comfy. The girls have been tearing
around for almost 2 hours in their secret fairy world, with another 30 mins to go. Run, kids, run! Play
your little hearts out.
I don't have a migraine, it didn't rain today and I know where my eyebrow tweezers
are!
The library overdue fees were $30 less than I'd feared!!
I can "park" my new
Jannie Sue URL and not lose any of my 37 loyal Jannie Funster readers!!!
After only 3 days with ads
on my site, Adbrite says I've now earned a whopping $15.40!!!! Whether or not I'll actually net that
much remains to be seen. I'm not booking The World Cruise just yet but I'm thinking of buying a new
spatula, a really nice wide one for full-pan size pancakes.
And... Dooce is in town, will get to meet her and Jon tomorrow.
5:39 pm
Thursday, March 6, 2008
THIS JUST IN...About 10 minutes ago my friend Deb took this from her I-Phone and mailed it to me.
She picked up the
girls from school - early release days. Lunch and a playdate. My turn tomorrow.
After I post this, I'm going for that nap.
No guitar practice until tonight.
1:03 pm
$4.92It's almost 3:00 a.m. I'm going to be so cranky tomorrow if I don't nap. I can usually
handle one late night no prob, but two in a row.... last night out performing then chatting with
Kalyani about men, kids and fuzzy pants, didn't get home til 12:30.
And tonight (this morning,) now 2:57.
Been re-designing my site.
(I usually go to bed at 10:00 and am up at 6:30.)
What a high I'm on tho!!! If you've seen my old site design you'll be a-clapppin' me on
the back right about now, or at least not puking on my pyjamas.
Tables! Tables have been the missing
element from the way I'd laid this site out before. Incredible.
Better
colors too.
And ads! Adbrite says I've already earned $4.92. In just a little over 24 hours!
What's next? Polka dancing with the stars?
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
Pennies From Cyber-HeavenOh. Mi. God. I have ads now. I can't believe it. TEXT ADS!!! ON THIS HUMBLE SITE!!!!! I thought for sure it would take weeks,
if not months, to get even one bite. What happened? There must be a catch. What's the catch?
Is this thing on?
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Missing Lucky Blue HatSkipped my run this morning because the sun was too bright and I got every freaking red light on the way to Kelly's
school, the latter which really pissed me off put me in a bad mood. Plus, I couldn't find
my lucky blue hat and on chilly mornings I can't run without my lucky blue hat - especially on too-bright chilly mornings.
(Good of excuses as any.)
I'll run in place and do some abs, arm and leg work later. Yeah!
Went
crazy on the way home and bought a Grande from Starbucks instead of my usual Tall. (6 oz more half-caff
than my body is used to at this time of the day!!!) I wonder if I'll freak out in some way.
And now,
to the bridge of "You Could Love Me Good."
Ahh, song-writing.
9:21 am
Monday, March 3, 2008
Brown Stripe Earned
12:40 pm
Saturday, March 1, 2008
Making PiesThe morning I sent my fifth husband Mel out to the store for tampons, whole milk and a fine-point black
Sharpie, the morning he never came back alive, I was making pies for the church bean supper and bake-sale. Apple mostly
because Flo had had such a bumper crop. Lemon for the regulars. Couple of blueberry.
The lemon turned out best, cranky old oven had actually cooperated with the meringue for once and turned its spongy
peak a golden-brown that cooled with those little moisture beads on top - just the way Mel liked it with his licorice
tea.
Mel had made some pies in his day too, before he started taking photos for his "Anonymous Shapely
Buttocks" coffee table book he was working on. I remember the strawberry-rhubarb he presented me with
on our third anniversary, the cocoanut cream when I was getting over the flu. His pumpkin.
How fluffy yet crisp his crust.
5:26 pm
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