And “The Real Jannie” is…?

Rooftop Yodeling, Seriously Weird | Posted by Jannie on 16 November 2008 @ 11:11 AM 63 Comments

 photo credit: air liquide

As I’ve mentioned in e-mails to a couple of you lately, how can you be sure who Jannie Funster really is?  Or if I even exist at all?  
Am I actually an 89-year-old man living in a drafty hut with 17 cats in Eastern Mongolia?  Or a former champion mig welder putting myself through the University of Nevada law school by working part-time as a Cirque de Soleil contortionist?  Could I be a spy with a penchant for munching raw carrots while flinging my bra in the moonlight, who couldn’t sing a note (let alone write a song,) if my double agent life depended on it?  (Darn, I swore I wouldn’t mention the word “bra” in a post again for at least a week.  Whoops.)
But … here’s your chance to know The Real Jannie.  Ask me anything you’d like about me.   Anything!  Serious or silly, I will answer all queries to the best of my knowledge and my somewhat limited intellectual abilitites. 
Fire away!
— Jannie.  (Or am I?)
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  • 1

    On 18 November 2008 at 9:43 am

    Pink Ink said, 

    Which famous celebrities have you worked with before?

    Pink Ink’s last blog post..When It’s Dark

  • 2

    On 18 November 2008 at 9:45 am

    Pink Ink said, 

    If I am repeating a question already, sorry.

    Pink Ink’s last blog post..When It’s Dark

  • 3

    On 18 November 2008 at 12:11 pm

    Barbara Swafford - Blogging Without A Blog said, 

    Hi Jannie – This is a very revealing post about yourself. However, I have to ask, is this really YOU answering the questions? Or is it the mig welder or the 89 year old?

    Barbara Swafford – Blogging Without A Blog’s last blog post..NBOTW – For The Love Of Words

  • 4

    On 18 November 2008 at 1:21 pm

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    Hmmm, I’ve never doubted your song writing ability since you suggested I skip thru the forest making up silly songs…

    Do you eat mushrooms on your pizza, or pick them off?

    SnaggleTooth’s last blog post..Filed Pilings

  • 5

    On 18 November 2008 at 4:08 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Mia: Aptly put, “glimpses of what you want us to see.” Ain’t it the troot, ain’t it the troot. Blogs: Our own little corner of the world where we get to be who we want to, no mayonnaise stains on our jpegs or dustbunnies under out Google ads.

    Pink Ink: No – yours was a unique question! I’ve worked with the guy on the corner who plays alto sax for coins in his hat. And I can see a Russian violinist from my house.

    Barbara: We’ll never really know, will we?! Today I am a Russian violinist named Boris.

    Snag: Love them mushrooms, eat every last morsel. Green olives however, I pluck and have the mig welder eat – she loves them!! (And how’s that silly song forest skipping going for ya?)

  • 6

    On 18 November 2008 at 6:19 pm

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    My God, woman, this is 46th comment already. Your blog rocks and that is a natural fact. Thank you for your gracious permission to post your poetry, and poetry it is, cuz you say it is, and there is a universe of room in the Land of Poems; room for all of us weirdos and wingnuts, philosophers and curmudgoens, good samaritans and assholes (pardon my Dutch). You are building a fan base like I have never witnessed before, and ground swell of interest that rivals the Big Obama hisself. I feel grateful to be a tiny fragment of this great Funster puzzle.


    Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..A Good Poem

  • 7

    On 18 November 2008 at 10:00 pm

    Renee said, 

    Jannie: just one question:

    Was that YOUR bra I found entwined in my crepe myrtle?

    Renee’s last blog post..Finished Elves

  • 8

    On 19 November 2008 at 4:08 am

    Jannie said, 

    Glenn: Will this be the post that breaks 50? And then what? We throw some corn on the barbie? Groundswell – so that’s what I get for poking my nose in all your blogs? Maybe I should get 30 instead of 20 of my CDs pressed because I might be absolutely mobbed!!

    Renee: So THAT’S where it landed!! I knew I had one powerful arm but all the way to Tennessee, man, I’m good!

  • 9

    On 19 November 2008 at 7:28 pm

    Teacher Dude said, 

    Jannie, I just have to say something before I get to the question – You are a true “Funster”

    Now, here is the question:
    1. Do you prefer to write poems to a certain pattern, (sonnets, haikus…) or are you a free spirit and create your own style?
    2. Do you write your poems to make songs or do you take songs and make them poems?

    I know it was two questions, but at least I did not ask you if you really personal questions like do you shave your armpits…etc.

    Teacher Dude’s last blog post..Lookie He’r – We in da driven seats naw!!!

  • 10

    On 19 November 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Tammy Warren said, 

    Hey Jannie,

    Well, I have eaten my lunch while reading your comments. I ate the entire salad while reading. wow…you are so loved.

    I see you as a beautiful mom that has a huge heart. You love to sing and you have the drive to achieve your goals.

    I would like to know about Jannie….is there one person in your life that has truly inspired you to be who you are? Is your drive in life based upon your inner strength or do you gain your drive from others? Well, sorry that is a double question. You can handle it.

    Tammy Warren’s last blog post..Let someone else pick up the slack

  • 11

    On 19 November 2008 at 4:19 pm

    Tammy said, 

    Hey, by the way, who started this bra obsession you or me?

  • 12

    On 19 November 2008 at 4:17 pm

    Tammy said, 

    Girl you have a huge amount of friends here. I have only ventured out into cyberspace world with great caution. You never know what kinda nut you will run into. I may even be one of those nuts compared to other people who knows? Because of my leeriness I have only made a handful of friends on line.

    So the beginning of your post here made me bust out laughing. You are funny. :)

    Your daughter is adorable. How cool is that, she is reading. That would be an excellent photo for a library poster. She is well on her way to becoming a world famous poet there.

    So my questions to you is do you really eat snakes? Cuz i have heard that it is a delicacy in Texas. Not just Texas, but lots of places are embracing that now days. Uhhhh you could count me out on that one. I don’t eat pork and i have a hard time sometimes choking down beef. Snake? Oh hell no! (sorry bout that language)

  • 13

    On 19 November 2008 at 5:34 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Well, this will be Comment 50 I reckon, new record for me.

    Tammy: Wow, you actually read all my comments? What’s happening here? I sure hope I can live up to all of you wonderful peoples’ kind expectations. In Wayne’s World words, “I’m not worthy, I’m not worthy.” Or maybe I dang well am! And you are loved too, Tammy – plenty of it to go around. Plenty of love everywhere. Time – not so much. Who has inspired me to be who I am? Wow, well God the most I guess, tho “person” doesn’t quite fit Him. But seriously, he put a little spunk and mischief in my soul I guess. A great love of words. And a love of running across late July fields of hay and in winter across iced-over ponds, or an iced-over parking lot will do in a pinch. Dad is probably my biggest influence for poems as he is a bit of a verse man himself with more than a little bit of a twinkle in his eye towards life. Mom instilled in me the joy of planting seeds and watching them grow (not that I have been doing any planting lately.) But I can sure appreciate the miracle of nature renewing itself and the joy of life reaching to be heard. My sister is a wonderful joy in my life, she is 13 years younger than I. Oh, and all my crazy wonderful ancestors who went before – mostly Irish, I believe. They had quite a bit of the twinkle in their eyes too. But basically I’m just an average gal getting along in the big old beautiful world.

    Did that make any sense or at all answer your question?

    TD: I just write whatever comes up, poemwise, so I’m a Free Spirit on that I guess. Songs usually come to me with words and melody together, with whatever thought seems to be on my mind — the best songs, anyway. The ones I have to force the words to usually turn out too complicated. Usually. I have about 200 melodies right now with lyrics I’ve not nailed down, and may never. Am actually working with the Shay-meister on a collaboration — see my post tomorrow, (damn this timestamp not yet on these comments.) That will be Nov. 20th. I am playing around with plugging her lyrics into some of my melodies to see if anything sticks. And maybe it will!

  • 14

    On 19 November 2008 at 8:19 pm

    robbi said, 

    Could I be a spy with a penchant for munching raw carrots while flinging my bra in the moonlight, who couldn’t sing a note (let alone write a song,)

    Y’see here ya gives yerself away Now if you were an 89 year old man etc etc, then possibly you would not have a bra to throw away, or the strength to fling it far,perhaps even to go out into the moonlight for fear of bitey things or werewolves etc, I rest my case ..thus far at least

  • 15

    On 20 November 2008 at 10:29 am

    Danielle-lee said, 

    Hello! you are my swapper-person from Just A Girl’s Swapfest. Just stopped by to do my homework and ‘get to know’ you before I go buying for you! :)
    I read all the comments, and I have just one question:

    If I have old worn out bras, can I fling them into YOUR crepe mertles? Because, right now, they are piled in the corner of my closet, and they are just ACHING to be flung!

    Danielle-lee’s last blog post..My Old Room

  • 16

    On 20 November 2008 at 2:41 pm

    Mys Lyke Meeh said, 

    1. Why are you asking this questions?
    2. You’re not 89 years old, right?
    3. Are you a man or woman, really? Only women can sacrifice those 17 cats? (Men hate cats)


    Take care!

  • 17

    On 20 November 2008 at 4:20 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Robbi: For all I know you could be a shoe salesman in Des Moines who loves to raise budgies and pumpkins. Are you?

    Danilee-Lee! So nice to “meet you”! I will enjoy popping over to your site too. This swap thing is going to be FUN. Sorry, tt the moment my crepes are jam-packed full of bras. May I recommned shredding them and making a running path out of them, all the elastic makes for a nice bouncy surface.

    Mys: At first I asked in the name of really letting people know about me, then it it just became silly. I will say overall – I asked for entertainment’s sake. I am 44. (Wow, how did that happen?)

    3. I am a woman, happily married with a 7-year-old daughter.

    Chris Angel loves his cat!

  • 18

    On 20 November 2008 at 8:43 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Tammy: You a nut? How could that ever be possible? For some reason, yes my blog seems to be catching on, been sticking myself out there. I really dont eat snake, never tried it. I think you started in on the bras!!

  • 19

    On 20 November 2008 at 9:00 pm

    Cricket/Tammy said, 

    Oops…there are two by the name of Tammy in here.

    This was so beautifully said. You answers were just as I expected them. Full of love.

  • 20

    On 21 November 2008 at 6:58 pm

    robbi said, 

    Jannie,y’see tho, songstress person and poetess y’know I isn’t a shoe salesperson or at all nothing similar.In fact and although Des Moines might very well be an attractive destination for shoe sales folk I am safely ensconced in Paradise, and that place is actually where I reside. Whilst the selling of shoes must be an admirable occupation it is not one to which I have aspired, perhaps though in another life I shall.Meanwhile I shall continue to read your blog and also in the faint hope that you might read mine, here I shall refer to the poem that I sent you to which you have not said (a) yuck(b)gross(c) passable (d) don’t even think about it, I was in fact hoping for a c but anything at this point will do. That you are not a bra flinging 89 year old etc etc is a certainty.I will in fact go back and revisit the wedgie angle,or position, if that is grammatically correct.

  • 21

    On 21 November 2008 at 10:22 pm

    Stephanie said, 

    A great revealing post. So, with all of this bra talk, I have to know…. underwire or no underwire?

    Stephanie’s last blog post..Photo Phriday

  • 22

    On 22 November 2008 at 12:52 am

    Jannie said, 

    Cricket/Tammy: Yes, “my” two Tammies. Ah, you got the love did you? I must not be so bad afterall.

    Robbi: Hortense, the gelato awaits! And you were right, I had not responded to your poem but now have and all is well in the Jannie – Robbi (not to be confused with Robbie the Des Moines purveyor of fine family footwear.)

    Stephanie: Mine? Sports bra (no wires,) all the way, extra-small for maximum retention and unliftingness. Yours???

  • 23

    On 11 June 2009 at 12:00 am

    Learn How to Sing So That You Can Achieve Your Musical Goals || said, 

    […] And “The Real Jannie” is…? | Jannie Funster how to sing […]

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