A Good-Fitting Bra (uh-oh, here come those Google ads again)

Poetry | Posted by Jannie on 3 December 2008 @ 2:08 PM 42 Comments

Photo credit:   Complimentary Crap  (really!)
A Good-Fitting Bra
A good-fitting bra is a [bosom] buddy indeed,
a little [or sometimes not so little,] friend
who won’t let you [or your boobs] down
until it gets too stretched out because
you’ve worn the friendship thin and not
given it that every-other-day break,
or better yet,  every-third-day break
as recommended in the Better Bras Almanac.
(Aside: a 2-day break also suggested for shoes.)
My experience has been it’s easier to replace  a
good bra than a good friend so be nice to
your bras.  And your friends!  And if your friends
are not nice to you, come here to my blog,
because I’ll be nice to you, if you’re nice to me.
And if I’m ever not nice to you it’s because
one of us has been an ass.  [Most likely me.]
But hopefully, all can and will be forgiven.

 

We Got To Be
On Sunday, striding across the parking lot
to the restaurant hand-in-hand-in-hand
we got to be the dashing entrepreneur,
the trophy wife and the golden child;
not the man who’s worrying how he’ll
cover checks tomorrow, the woman
with dust in every kitchen corner and
the kid who’s been flinging lip lately
like it’s going out of business.

 

Orbits
The secret forgotten language of children,
The secret simple language of men,
The secret not-so-simple language of women,
– That’s what keeps the planets doing what they do.
  • Twitter

  • 1

    On 3 December 2008 at 2:17 pm

    Teacher Dude said, 

    I have a problem with the whole “Bra Buddy” thing. People keep looking at me funny! I could probably equate your bra with my tighty whiteys and know then I could relate…however, if you turn a bra in-side-out and try to get the extra mile out of it, will it put marks on the inside of your pants??? There is a question worth investigating.

    Teacher Dude’s last blog post..Lookie He’r – We in da driven seats naw!!!

  • 2

    On 3 December 2008 at 5:30 pm

    Caity said, 

    Haha once again you always make me smile with your poems. :)

    Caity’s last blog post..What ifs and regrets.

  • 3

    On 3 December 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Talon said, 

    A Good Fitting Bra — well, I rank finding a good fitting bra/bosom buddy right up there with shopping for a flattering swimsuit. The Better Bras Almanac should be required reading for everyone! With a good fitting bra and a bosom buddy, I’m set to face the whatever the universe flings my way.

    We Got To Be — wonderfully expressed…like those photos of smiling anonymous families in picture frames in the stores, the illusion is always so different than the reality.

    The Orbit — yes, the secret language of so many…and the beauty when one orbit collides with the other and is, if only briefly, understood.

    As always, Jannie, an insightful and delightful post.

    Talon’s last blog post..Carbuncle

  • 4

    On 3 December 2008 at 6:30 pm

    Walden said, 

    Been reading for a while now. I loved “Orbits”. Well done.

  • 5

    On 3 December 2008 at 7:18 pm

    Shay said, 

    I just love the third one!!!

    The first one seems strangely familiar!

    Shay’s last blog post..The Gladys Pemberton Award For Poetic Excellence

  • 6

    On 3 December 2008 at 8:12 pm

    sheila said, 

    LOVE your writing. Yes, a good bra IS harder to replace than a good friend! lol. And my kid’s been flingin some wicked lip herself. Geez!

    sheila’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday ~ Our Heated Green

  • 7

    On 3 December 2008 at 8:58 pm

    Abra said, 

    Hey, so thanks for stopping by! I love your poems!

  • 8

    On 3 December 2008 at 9:32 pm

    Georgie B said, 

    Cute poems.

    Can’t touch the bra one without being….impolite. However the others are dead on.

  • 9

    On 3 December 2008 at 9:55 pm

    Dr. Cason said, 

    Never got the whole “rest” thing.

    Flinging lip- been seeing that around my house lately as well!

    Dr. Cason’s last blog post..Caught in a Triangle

  • 10

    On 3 December 2008 at 10:56 pm

    nikkicrumpet said, 

    When you hit my age…a good fitting crane is necessary to lift up the disasters that your boobs have become! Very cute post.

    nikkicrumpet’s last blog post..♥~I WISH WEDNESDAYS~♥

  • 11

    On 3 December 2008 at 11:04 pm

    Patricia said, 

    I am not fond of bras…comfortable is hard to find…

    I gave them a rest all through college…was that the right thing to do? It felt great.

    Lots of “lip” this time of the year….too much excitement brewing, inability to wait, and not enough lessons on how to wait and maybe needs to help in the preparation planning? Just a thought

    Patricia’s last blog post..Is It All About Food?

  • 12

    On 4 December 2008 at 12:01 am

    Jewel/Pink Ink said, 

    Wow, Jannie what a mix. I especially like the last one, and can relate to the second one. The first one, well, to be honest, I am grateful for bras!!

    Oh, is that you in the corner up there?? :-) Nice to *see* you!!

    Jewel/Pink Ink’s last blog post..Same Day Service

  • 13

    On 4 December 2008 at 2:16 am

    robbi said, 

    T just cannot write
    anything even halfway trite
    on a blog wots pink,
    ‘cept to say
    summat about
    from that cup
    yer shouldn’t
    even think,
    t……………

    I didn’t have the courage to write the last line, but ya’ll will forgive I know,’cos it’s the season.

  • 14

    On 4 December 2008 at 6:25 am

    Tammy said, 

    Hey I popped over here yesterday to read this and I started to leave a comment, but I got sidetracked………..this week is final exams. you asked what I am studying……well I am in the process of writing two papers. One is an oral report that I spoke about on my blog: my career goal.

    It is a long winded research paper on becoming a psychologist. Something really weird happened about the other paper. I wrote a paper on critical thinking and my professor indirectly accused me of plagiarism, she said it sounded like it came out of a textbook.

    Jannie, I wrote the flippin paper. Later we had a discussion about it, and she understood me, that I really did write it. That was crazy.

    Anyway, when i saw that bra there yesterday, I busted out laughing. All this bra-flinging, you need to pull a 60’s thing and rally a bunch of women to have bra burning on the court house lawn. Do you know what i am referring to there? I think I learned about that in History class.

    Nothing like a good demoralizing protest to start your day off right!

    Ha

  • 15

    On 4 December 2008 at 7:35 am

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    Jannie comes through like a trouper!

    “A Good-Fitting Bra” is a fascinating ditty for we male types. My wife is rather buxom, and only recently did a girlfriend of hers talk her into using a bra-consultant for a proper fitting. She found some great, albeit expensive bras, and now swears by the consultant. My three daughters, also buxom, followed their mother’s lead and now all the breasts in the family are well supported.
    “We Got To Be” is a stunning poem. It comes on slowly and does the literary smack-down. I really enjoyed it. I have never been one of the beautiful people. I cruise through them in public like a pariah on a picnic.

    “Orbit” is like a pregnant haiku, simmering with symbolism, curt yet profound, short yet deep; also a 4 star special.
    Thanks for the poetic blast from the mind of a Funster.

    Glenn

    Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..Impeach Bush For Christmas

  • 16

    On 4 December 2008 at 7:55 am

    Lynn said, 

    Jannie – how I love your blog. Wonderful poems and you can turn a phrase like no one else. “Flinging lip” will be forever in my phrasebook. :)

    Lynn’s last blog post..Inspiration, source and thought for the day

  • 17

    On 4 December 2008 at 7:59 am

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    Uh-oh, lip flinging is the first sign of little lady puberty stirring, as the angel daughter suddenly begins to realize that she, too, will be a woman one day, and Mom is the only one she can focus on; faults and all.

    My three daughters did not reach their lip flinging apex until after the Senior Prom. College seemed to mellow them out. Marriage did the trick. Now I can enjoy their visits knowing that the lip flinging will be done in private with their spouses.

    Glenn

    Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..Impeach Bush For Christmas

  • 18

    On 4 December 2008 at 9:40 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hello my Cuties. It’s Thursday!!!!! And you know what that means for Jannie, right?? I’m reclining here with coffee at 8:33 a.m. on a cold day, well cold for Austin, currently around 40, bright windy day. No frost on my impatiens yet, tho – they’re still beautiful.

    But enough of that crap…

    Teacher Dude: Remember Mr. Kostanza’s “Man”sierre? He had a tighty whitey on top there for a while.

    Caity: Glad I could give a grin to your heart. :) Alwys great to “see” you.

    Talon: Yes, I’m all about good-fitting upper undergarments. And a great bikini, with ample bosom coverage. Still waiting for my ‘09 B.B Almanac! I wonder what colors are going to be really in? I hear beige is the new pink. Ooo, I like the photos in frames reference in We Got To Be, which I could’ve also named We Three (Kings of Occident Are.) I feel that even tho a thought may be a bit embarassing to write, chances are those thoughts will be the ones that ring truest to people, as we are all basically the same. And my goodness, you even gave my Orbits deeper meaning – so cool! That one I originally thuought of as propulsion, what propels us as humans.

    Walden: So good to see you! I think your site is amazing and am suprised to not see more comments on it, I guess you guys might not be as heavily into “blog blasting” as I? Or maybe don’t have all Thursday to hoot and groot. (What’s hoot and groot? Don’t have the foggiest, I just made it up.) Sounds kind of Scottish, doesn’t it? (Miles?)

    Shay: Funny about the first one, eh – hauntingly familiar? (Still not sure about the ending.) Thanks on Orbits. I was thinking about how men really are kind of simple creatures, as opposed to us feminine types. Then flashed on Maria Montessori’s “The Secret Language of Childhood,” (I think that’s the title,) and one thing led to another, as there I was doing ab crunches on a bench on the running trail, lost in the beauty of the tree overhead, lost in Orbits.

    Sheila: Thanks, I like your writing too. Good bras rule, no Freudian “full slip” there, from your sharp mind. Yeah, lip. Backtalk. Sass. (I’m afraid she is to much like I was at that age.) (Or any age for me, really.)

    Dr Cason: When you wear a sports bra 24 /7 (no names mentioned,) it does take its toll on those $40 over-the-shoulder boulder holders. Lip seems to be catching lately, from what I hear.

    Nikki: Welcome! A crane, lol! Or you could be like Shirley MacClaine and spend 8 hours a day upsidedown, that’s gotta have some impact.

    Patricia: I like sports bras. Many took the college or womens’ lib rest. As usual, your wisdom shines through. I asked Kelly this a.m. if she would like to make Christmas cookies with me this afternoon. “Yes Mama!! was the reply.” Wise Lady, I thank you!! Y’all, Patricia’s wisdom rocks!

    Jewel: Yes, quite a mix indeed, I guess. The humorous with the serious. Yeah, that’s me in the corner. I took that a couple years ago with my old camera. It’s kind of fuzzy focused… but when you get to your 40s, fuzziness can be a good photo friend.

    Robbi: When you visit, I feel that my cup runneth over, so glad am I for your bloggity friendship. Pink today – who knows what color tomorrow?? Lime green? Shocked tangerine?

    Tammy: final exams!! Gosh, I remember those days. Dimly. Those too shall pass. Yeah, I saw footage of the bra burning of olde. But in effect it made my spirits sag, for Wonderbra almost went into receivership there for a while and my uncle Sylvester lost his invested $39.95. He cried every day. But bought up some Commodore 64 stock so it all worked out.

    Glenn: A bra consultant, is that her job exclusively, or does she branch out into underpants too? Socks? A sock consultant – now there’s a job! How much does your wife invest per bra? (I’m not really one of the beautiful people either but for purposes of the poem I faked it quite well.) Like a pariah on a picnic? Do embellish!

    Lynn: Likewise on liking your blog, and it’s a local blog – so we’re saving trees and such, right? :) Flinging, we do a lot of that in this family. Jim flings his circular saw out windows on occasion.

    Glenn: Sheeseh, I thought the apex would be at 15.5 years. “Now I can enjoy their visits knowing that the lip flinging will be done in private with their spouses.” Good one! Any grand kids?

    Folks, thus ends this little ditty. Now, what trouble can I get into next?? Reading your latest posts, of course! And nuking this java, I can make 16 oz last about four hours with 2, sometime 3 nukings. Power level 6 for 48 seconds.

  • 19

    On 4 December 2008 at 12:40 pm

    Mama Zen said, 

    I love “We Got To Be.” Just beautiful writing!

    Mama Zen’s last blog post..Affirmation Addict Affirmation

  • 20

    On 4 December 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Beatrice V said, 

    Hello Jannie, you left a comment on my post at http://winterhaiku0809.blogspot.com/ which is a team blog, in which I participate. You wondered about the picture of a house on the page, I agree it is beautiful, actually it is a Template from PYZAM.COM which was set up by the site administrator. Best wishes, Beatrice V

  • 21

    On 4 December 2008 at 3:04 pm

    Vered - MomGrind said, 

    I love “We Got To Be.” It’s real and unpretentious. I like real.

  • 22

    On 4 December 2008 at 3:17 pm

    Momisodes said, 

    I loved these!

    There really is nothing like a good bra :)

    “the woman with dust in every kitchen corner and
    the kid who’s been flinging lip lately
    like it’s going out of business.”- That’s us!

    Momisodes’s last blog post..The Ruse

  • 23

    On 4 December 2008 at 4:37 pm

    Miladysa said, 

    There’s nothing quite like a chest hammock!

    Miladysa’s last blog post..Sky Blue Pink

  • 24

    On 4 December 2008 at 6:54 pm

    Carla said, 

    I love my bras – I cant live without out them; not with a 34D. :)

    I also love “We Got to Be”

    Keep it up!

    Carla’s last blog post..Indie, handmade, eco friendly gifts | Holiday Gift Guide

  • 25

    On 4 December 2008 at 8:20 pm

    Barbara Swafford - Blogging Without A Blog said, 

    Hi Jannie – You’re right. You got Google bra ads again.

    I need to know, will these poems become songs? As I was reading “We Got To Be”, it made me think it’s a good start to a country and western song.

    I don’t know about the bra one though. Well, maybe if was a happy/silly kind of song.

    P.S. I love you newly written “About” page. That’s a darling photo.

    Barbara Swafford – Blogging Without A Blog’s last blog post..The Unseen Benefit of Commenting

  • 26

    On 4 December 2008 at 9:41 pm

    Patricia said, 

    Jannie found this book on my email from my sister in laws store…thought you might like the reference:

    Elf on the Shelf
    This is one of the cutest Christmas traditions we’ve seen. The package contains one of Santa’s elves and a beautifully illustrated children’s book. The story explains that this elf’s job is to watch the children’s behavior and report it to Santa each night. The next morning after the children awake, they discover the elf has returned from the North Pole and is now resting in a new and different place. To better preserve his mystique the children are not allowed to touch him but can talk to him all they want. The elf, however, is under strict orders not to talk to the children. What joy to wake up in the morning and try to be the first to spy the elf in his new position. The added benefit is the gentle reminder that the “elf is watching” for errant behavior to be modified. We have a few sets left at $29.99.

    Thank you for the shout out…and I bet you have great cookies now too! filled with love and connections!

  • 27

    On 4 December 2008 at 9:51 pm

    Lane Savant said, 

    Hi Jannie I love your blog but am afraid to comment, cause I already got one harassment charged filed against me.
    Thanks for commenting on my site.
    In case you didn’t see my comment to your comment, it recommends egg nog and Wild Turkey in equal proportions.
    Although if you’re out of ‘nog More Wiold Tutkey may be subshtitooded….uted
    Mer’ Chrishmissh and who cares what year it is?

    Lane Savant’s last blog post..What the Fuss…?

  • 28

    On 4 December 2008 at 10:51 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Now the day is all but done. 10:32 here Mates. 12-4-08

    Mama Z: Thank you. Maybe I’ll send that one off somewhere to see if anyone would deem it publish-worthy/ I write soooo much baaaad poetry for soooo long, I am still amazed when something decent comes forth.

    Beatrice: Hi and welcome. Yes that was an amazing photo on your Haiku blog. A template, eh? Dont’ tell anyone but all my photos are from templates, and this is all made up. I’m realy Boris the violinist.

    Vered: Thanks. See response to Mama Z, dittoes. I really enjoyed your post today on Internet vs “book” writing. And I can’t wait to see what you’ll come up with next. (But I’ll have to.)

    Momisodes, Miladysa, Carla: We 4 are all agreed that the upper undergarment bears great significance on one’s happiness in life. I’d be lost without mine.

    Barbara: Shall we co-write song? I already have the wedgie one so I may not venture into the undergarment area again. But you never know. Yes, I got a better handle on my About page, I think. You are so kind (or either bery bored,) to read it again! No — something tells me with your successful blog you are not bored.

    Patricia: That elf sounds like the best thing. We used to tell her they were peeking in the windows but I will go to your blog and have a peek at it. (Thanks for braving the bra ads again to come back to this post!) And Kelly and I are back to a nice warm close realtionship after a few rocky lip-flinging days, precipitated by 5-day Thanksgiving break and a bit of a generation gap.

    Lane: You really don’t seem like the harassment type. I love your blog too! But I’m done with bras! Well, done with posting about them for a while. Not so big on the wild turkey but Kahlua and cream (well, whole milk cause all hat fat goes right to my big eye,) is a mighty fine Holiday imbibe.

    Now friends, consider Jannie Gone To Bed!! ZZ Z Z z z zzzzzzz zzzzzzz zzz zzz zz zz zz

  • 29

    On 4 December 2008 at 11:21 pm

    ella said, 

    God Bless Bras. I would be physically disabled without bras and shoes.

    ella’s last blog post..Have you met Evan??

  • 30

    On 4 December 2008 at 11:38 pm

    Mia said, 

    I hate bras. I wish I could fling them aside!

    Loved the poems!

    Mia’s last blog post..The Reality of Motherhood-GUEST POST

  • 31

    On 5 December 2008 at 1:17 am

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    Fun post full of a rainbow of emotions from silly to reality.
    I’m the queen of complication- I’m often accused of making the most simple thing utterly difficult (at work). But I do what I do to, to make it easier for a short person! (That’s why others don’t get it- they[re taller!)
    The kichen over my head is dustier than the floor, which I can reach… n see.
    Thanks for the good read!

    SnaggleTooth’s last blog post..Shell

  • 32

    On 5 December 2008 at 11:29 am

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    Yes, your About Me page is cool. Like Lane/Doug I appreciate your stops on my site too. Your comments are priceless and always welcome. Yes, there are bra consultants in the lingerie sections of the high dollar stores here in WA. If I subscribe to Google ads, do they give you a choice, or will bra ads reign supreme regardless? Nice tree. What is Kelly swirling.

    Glenn

    Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..Independence Day

  • 33

    On 5 December 2008 at 11:50 am

    Tammy Warren said, 

    Well, I just love all three.

    The bra…well, they are sexy to wear but most are not comfy. When I find one that is comfy I take care of it. Hand wash and hang dry for me!

    “We Got to Be” is how it should be. Living in the moment with not a care in the world.

    “Orbits” -my house has all these languages going on and more!

    Tammy Warren’s last blog post..A Glance Into a Year of Blogging

  • 34

    On 5 December 2008 at 6:25 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Ella and Mia: Perhaps I could host The Great Bra Debate with either of you at the head of the teams. To restrain or not to restrain, that is the question.

    Snag: I assumed you were 5′9″ — you just never know, do you? (Glad you caught the full range of emotional subtleties I intended to portray, Smartie-pants!)

    Glenn: My About page is probably so cool it warrants an About page about IT, think? Oh, I though you meant like, you could go to the Yellow Pages or Google local bra consultants. (I did today and see they are all owned and managed by men, funny.) I have my Google Ads set to show for the Content I write. Should’ve stuck with that SEO post. Maybe.

    Tammy: I imagine you treat your undergarments like you do your blog, with care, respect, dignity and a touch of whimsical flair.

  • 35

    On 8 December 2008 at 9:12 pm

    Tammy Warren said, 

    Ha…wash and wear. Yes, we are all tidy!

    Tammy Warren’s last blog post..Wishing you all a very Merry Christmas!

  • 36

    On 12 December 2008 at 6:41 am

    Rhett said, 

    Good fit bra was ok.
    Can yu explain the last verse?

    Rhett’s last blog post..Jane

  • 37

    On 12 December 2008 at 7:37 am

    Joy said, 

    It’s hard to find a good fitting bra that is comfortable

  • 38

    On 12 December 2008 at 10:56 am

    Danielle-lee said, 

    I love ‘We got to be’. I love that thought.

  • 39

    On 12 December 2008 at 2:09 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Tammy: Weirdly, your comment posted afater my reply. Hmnnn.

    Rhett: To me the last one is about how humans are all so caught up in ourselves we might as well be the center of everything. And alludes to how when we grow up we lose the way we thought in childhood, can never go back but end up being either men who are basically uncomplicated beings, or women who are slightly more, um, intricate. (Originally this poem had a rabid cow and some purple snow at the end but I edited them out at the last minute.)

    Joy: I hear ya. Have you tried sports bras? I live in them, so comfortable.

    Danielle-lee: Yeah I kind of like that one too. Like the actors on the screen get to be those illusions.

  • 40

    On 29 December 2008 at 7:29 pm

    johnny said, 

    aXjC59 Thanks for good post

  • 41

    On 29 December 2008 at 7:42 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Johnny: Please, be good.

  • 42

    On 18 February 2009 at 10:30 am

    alarroste said, 

    Hello webmaster,
    I would like to share with you a link, write to alarroste@mail.ru

home | top