YaYa: Ye lovely red-headed lass, WELCOME to J. Funster! I’m so glad you came by. I already am a big secret admirer of yours, so it’s good to get this thing out in the open finally! See you soon.

Jeanne, my wonderful Jeanne: I am on my way now to you with bushels and pecks of birch and maple in my largest knapsack. I should think propane would be free – after all it’s just a gas. And is natural, right??

89 — I’m not sure, but I think that was the ideal age to begin a new physical activity, use those muscles or lose them.

Perhaps you could fling your wet clothes up into the naked trees to dry?? And move your hosue to Florida? Oh, but then you’d get the A/C bill, about $1101.00 a month from April to November.

Jeanne, once I figure out how to YouTube, I’ll post VIDEO of me chopping!! YES, WITH MY FACE CLEARLY SHOWN, let’s hope I don’t have too many zits that day.

LOVE YOU JEANNE!!! You made me laugh too. Now, what’s your address? I believe I have wood to deliver.
xo

Woo hoo! You said, “I give you my wood on this”. Oh my! I’m so excited! Yay! Firewood! What kind of wood will you give me? Will you give me some of that chopped firewood we talked about the other day? I mean… you are a former ‘farm girl’ who knows how to swing an axe!

It’s cold here. So when can you ship me a few cords of wood?? After all, I need to use my woodstove for heat. I certainly can’t afford to use my own furnace!

I mean… the furnace uses propane. {Those damn fossil fuels! They are not good for the environment.}

Do you know much much propane costs?! If I called the oil company right now to fill my propane tank up to full (from getting towards empty), it’ll cost upwards of $1,100 or so. I’m afraid my first-ever Amazon Associate referral fee paycheck of $19.91 won’t help much with paying for propane. So I need that wood ASAP!

Besides, my 1st Amazon check won’t even arrive until February. As you know, I work on my blog 7 days a week. So I’m making about 1/1,000,000th of a penny per word. (Is 1/1,000,000th grammatically correct??)

Aren’t I smart?!? If my calculations are correct, I should be rich enough to heat my house with propane about 49 years from now. I’ll be 89 years old by then. (Too old to split wood).

I’m thinking of your snowy palm tree.

Climate change may have caused extinction of humans by the the time I *would have been* 89 years old. Those damn fossil fuels like propane are not good! There must be a cleaner way to heat my home. (I know I can’t use the kitchen stove for that… all that propane again)…

Right now, I must conserve the propane for use running the stove (for just cooking… not heating my home!) and, of course, the clothes dryer.

I can’t be wearing wet clothes in this cold house when I’m still in need of wood for the woodstove. I don’t like shivering.

You have been chopping that wood, right? Is it almost ready to be shipped?

You don’t want me to be cold do you? I have fibromyalgia you know! My body doesn’t handle cold well at all. So, please ship those cords of wood up ASAP.

I’m sure you can swing the costs of shipping. Right? Google ads rock!

What’s that? You meant “I give you my WORD on this”?

Bummers!! I was so looking forward to the fireWOOD.

I especially was looking forward to seeing pictures of you chopping the wood… posted right here on your blog.

Your readers should see how skilled you are at chopping wood. That is a talent worth showing off! You are going to post the pictures of you splitting that seasoned wood, right?

I mean… just because you can’t justify the expense of shipping it to me shouldn’t prevent you from getting the physical exercise from splitting wood anyway. It’s good for your cardio workout, isn’t it?

I want to see those biceps in action.

I want one of those pictures where the axe is moving through the air so fast that it’s blurry in the picture. Kind of like your little honey was blurry/in motion.

I want your face to be clearly visible, though. I need proof that you yourself personally chopped the wood. After all, YOU did “give me your WOOD”! Don’t let me down, please!

Wait. What’s that?? Did you say that you REALLY meant your “WORD”???

I am so disappointed. I thought you were good for your word, Jannie! I’m absolutely stunned that you are not going to send the wood I was counting on. That is a crying shame. People just don’t seem to keep their word anymore nowadays. I thought you were different.

I’m sad that you got me psyched for something that isn’t going to happen. I thought YOU were good for your word.

YOU are the one who made the typo. Aren’t YOU legally responsible to fulfill your promise?

Think about it…

I have faith that you’ll be chopping it all up soon. I can’t wait. I know you’ll do the right thing!

You are a woman of your word.

Happy splitting! Don’t hurt your back. You recently bragged to me about being an expert lumberjack. So I’m sure you’ll be fine!

Jeanne

P.S. Jannie, you are too funny! I thank you for making me laugh. The last few days have been very intense and very upsetting. Your blog is a safe place for me to stop by and just LAUGH. Your sense of humor is a great gift. Your writing is brilliant! Your generosity of spirit and kindness are impressive. Have a fantastic day!

Jeanne’s last blog post..A Tori Amos Music Break For Healing, Quote Of The Day From ‘The Foundation For A Better Life’, And Also A Bit Of RAINN…

Yaya’s last blog post..Orange!

sharon’s last blog post..Pray Without Ceasing

Heff: toady, always reminds of of “there’s a killer on the road, his boy’s squirming like a toad.” Nice little lyric there.

Debbie: Well, you could make a post out of it, but you really have to keep track of your unput.

Karyn: Oh, you were in the audience! Why did I think your dance troupe was performing on the show?

KING: Loved that Uncle Jay thing on your last post. Happy New Year, a tad late.

Jannie’s last blog post..Like a bord on a wire, 2