Like a bord on a wire, 4 — Funny Typos
Funny Typos | Posted by Jannie on 17 February 2009 @ 12:12 AM 54 Comments
1. Your blog writhing always leaves me uplifted.
2. You are a fine and rear creation.
3. What chases me every time I run is the fear of getting a bit butt…
4. I’m totally hopless with that whole HTML thing.
5. Whoever said “posting poems to the net was like taking a long walk off a short perm…” was an old sourpuss!
6. And now for a gust post… (Thanks Davina over at Shades of Crimson, for that one.) Hey, a gust typo!
7. As the Aussies say “goon on ya, Mate!”
8. I get so tired of my manual transmission – my left hell gets all worn down from the clutch.
9. I started writing songs about having wedgies, laying ukes and such
10. And bottom line – don’t give out hoe loans to people who DON’T QUALIFY!!!
Here is the entire series thus far, in case you are interested. 
Funny Typos 10… Funny Typos 9… Funny Typos 8… Funny Typos 7… Funny Typos 6… Funny Typos 5… Funny Typos 4… Funny Typos 3… Funny Typos 2… Funny Typos 1…
On 17 February 2009 at 1:17 am Miles McClagan said,
Isn’t life depressing when you are hopless? All those people hopping, and you can’t join in – someone should hold a telethon…
On 17 February 2009 at 1:42 am Mike Goad said,
And that’s why I spullcheck, rered, spllcheck, and red against, so that I ever mkae mistakes.
On 17 February 2009 at 3:31 am SnaggleTooth said,
Thanks for all the giggles again! Don’t get any splinters laying ukes…-whew!
This is a great idea, n have saved some of my strange new words for later- tho I stupidly didn’t copy the whole sentences, as you have-
On 17 February 2009 at 8:15 am Jewel/Pink Ink said,
This is great, Jannie!! You should put it in a book.
On 17 February 2009 at 8:37 am Glenn Buttkus said,
Jewel has the right idea, blog typoos that could fill a book. You could be an author, or at the least an editor and ooordinator for the book. It could be entitled: ” The Big Book of Jannie’s Vergbal Skils” Your typos are hilarious, for sure. Are they for real, or do you make them up, whip them out….which would be even more impressive. You, lady, are the rear creation. And when you get around to the Butt of the Month posting, I’m zure your bit butt will lead the pack of gluts. My fave Roman Emporer was Gluttius Maximus for sure. It is odd that way too often one does not notice the typos until after the comment is posted, and then you feel like you have kicked up the Bozo factor by 100. Lots of terrific responses on the Grannie Jannie post; you are a perfect example of girls who like to have fun.
Glenhn
Glenn
Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..The Ghost of Jackson Mac Low
On 17 February 2009 at 9:41 am Jannie said,
Miles: Yes, being hopless was a real problem in childhood wth all those sack race games and such. I was so ashamed, an outcast relaly. But in adulthood it’s just another of my many disabilities I manage to disguise quite well.
Mike: Spellcheck, yes. I used that once. But I broke out in a rash.
Snag: Saving your funny typos is a very specialized skill indeed, but I am sure you will master it soon enough. I think I am finally hitting my stride on mine.
Jewel: You know — it has actually occured to me that I may try to get a small book of these published some day!! I’ve already got 40, so maybe another 250 or so. And with the rate of my crazy typing, I just might get to that 300 in a week or so.
Glenn: Total dittoes!! No, I don’t make these up – they are my actual typos. Of course I make about 5000% more typos than these on a daily basis but only save the ones I think come out funny. YAY!! I really, totally think I will publish a book of these. But I will probably name it “Like A Bord On A Wire” and in smaller letters, Jannie Funster’s Wild Typos.”
Jannie’s last blog post..Like a bord on a wire, 4
On 17 February 2009 at 10:39 am wade said,
The writhing and uplifted statement probably should have gone in the Valentine’s Condom blog. That one is pretty Freudian.
On 17 February 2009 at 11:46 am Talon said,
I’m with Wade – the writhing had me giggling!
On 17 February 2009 at 12:24 pm Vered - MomGrind said,
“You are a fine and rear creation.”
OMG that one made me laugh out loud!
On 17 February 2009 at 12:27 pm K said,
Man, I really hate those “hoe loans”. They’re causing trouble all over the place.
I make tons of typos too – at least yours are funny.
K’s last blog post..Guest Post – I thought my life would be different
On 17 February 2009 at 12:27 pm High Desert Hooker said,
Oh Gawd – I read the first few a few times before I even NOTICED any typos! Lawd. These eyes be gittin’ old and tired. VERY funny once I realized what the heck was up!
High Desert Hooker’s last blog post..Joe loves our hat modeling sessions
On 17 February 2009 at 12:36 pm Mia said,
Hoe loans….I need one of those…I think?
Funny that you posted this today. I’m putting one (not quite as funny) about how I should be forgiven for any misspellings anyone finds in the future…tomorrow.
On 17 February 2009 at 12:45 pm debbie said,
I have been leaving hoes everywhere! I need to quit even trying to type the word “hope”. I have to give up hope!
debbie’s last blog post..I’ve set some resolutions for my golden days
On 17 February 2009 at 12:52 pm Patricia said,
ha,ha, ha….you do need to do a book or typos…
I’m writhing while I wait! Thank you so much…
Patricia’s last blog post..Messy, Messy, Messy
On 17 February 2009 at 12:58 pm Liara Covert said,
Never underestimate the power of hardware to inspire new levels and degrees of thought.
Liara Covert’s last blog post..Maharishi Mahesh Yogi & 12 ways to access soul
On 17 February 2009 at 1:49 pm Csquaredplus3 said,
I wanted to comment on the precious photo and “grace” story! I’m able to view it in my Reader. We give thanks before our meals and I love to hear what our kids say.
Okay… your typos. I don’t like a “bit butt” either. Funny stuff!
On 17 February 2009 at 2:27 pm Jannie said,
Wade: Actually my freudian slip is at the cleaners.
Talon: Glad I could make you smile.
Vered: Yes, a rear creation indeed. I as afreaid that one could come off as assinine but took the chance.
K: Yes, no farmer should be left behind I say!
High Hooler sh*# Hooker, I mean.(Still lol-ing at your moniker. Even better that the humor is oh-so-subtle.
Mia: I will watch for that! Now get back to yer bootie-booty.
Patricia: Hey, others put out all kinds of stuff in books, why not little Jannie Funster??
Liara: I do my best blogging at Home Depot, actually!
CSquared, so that’s how feeds work! I pulled it back a few minutes after I hit publish because it occured to me a religion-based post falling right on the heels of the whole condom trauma might drain me emotionally. Give myself a bit of time to bounce back, get my Funstering back up and I’ll let that “Overheard at school, obviously” post fly again.
On 17 February 2009 at 3:25 pm Dot said,
What would we ever do if you slowed down when typing your comments? Just think of the riches we’d miss! I have to say, I’m totally hopless myself without a spellchecker, but my typos aren’t funny or even interesting most of the time. For example, I type “and” instead of “than” or I type “the” instead of “and.” Not funny, pretty hopless.
Dot’s last blog post..OpenOffice Extensions
On 17 February 2009 at 3:30 pm Dot said,
I read your article on your daughter’s delightful prayers in my reader, but when I clicked on it, I got to your WTF page. Anyway, those are hard questions to answer. I grew up in a non-religious family and have stayed that way, except for a few years when I was a young adult and immersed myself in religion briefly. If I pray over food, it’s to give thanks to the animals and plants that provided it. I believe in God, but not the God I hear people talking about. More like a very benevolent Force.
Dot’s last blog post..OpenOffice Extensions
On 17 February 2009 at 6:37 pm Tess The Bold Life said,
Jannie,
Thanks for the laugh of the day. I used to hoe acres on the farm we grew up on. If I didnt’ we would of starved!
Tess
Tess The Bold Life’s last blog post..8 Ways to Magic Mondays
On 17 February 2009 at 6:50 pm Jannie said,
Dot: You are obviously a much better typist than I. I wonder if it’s just that my mind is attuned to what seems funny? And as to your other comment, I will be re-posting that missing one soon. Sorry for the confusion! Thanks so much for everything.
Tess: Did you ever take out any loans on one? As you may know, I was born anad raised on a farm too.
On 17 February 2009 at 7:37 pm Georgie B said,
I just luvs going ter skool.
Hmmm….
Ya know, it’s tuff to make errorrs on purposes. I find its easier to make erroors when I simply get on a roll with typing. With my hands, its a snap to dooo.
Georgie B’s last blog post..Anniversary?
On 17 February 2009 at 7:55 pm Stephanie said,
“Hoe Loans” that really explains a lot about the problems all of the banks are having.
I love the typo blogs, they are always good for a laugh or two.
Stephanie’s last blog post..UFO in Stephenville
On 17 February 2009 at 8:07 pm TheWeyrd1 said,
snicker…love those. I tend to correct mine when the editing option is available. Perfectionist that I am on occasion. I love the auto-spell check thingy too!
TheWeyrd1’s last blog post..Thought for Thursday – Blogging Burnout part 2
On 17 February 2009 at 8:41 pm Caity said,
OMG. I absolutely love your typo posts. They always put a smile on my face. Hoe loans… haha that’s the best one.
Caity’s last blog post..The stress is back.
On 17 February 2009 at 9:49 pm Momisodes said,
ROFL!!! These typo posts are awesome.
A bit butt would totally freak me out, too
Momisodes’s last blog post..Nuthin’ But a G String, Baby
On 17 February 2009 at 10:24 pm LisaNewton said,
LOL……….I love this post, especially the “left hell.” How is that different from the “right hell?”
LisaNewton’s last blog post..Valentine’s Day at the Santa Monica Farmer’s Market
On 18 February 2009 at 2:16 am Black Cat said,
O ;ivez b;ofz aboyt trypoz. I make them orl da tyme!
Thanks for visiting mine humble bloggie! The only other so hugely-commented blogger who visits me is the lovely Daisy the Curly Cat. She’s ace in the Cat Blogosphere!
I see you like Leonard Cohen… What can I say, in my opinion he’s up there with the poetic giants. Love, love, love him.
Your cat is probably having a fun hunt out there. Does he bring you real live dead gifts?
xxx
Black Cat’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
On 18 February 2009 at 2:17 am robbi said,
Frintrepple, They are typos? Wow, you know that I am a little like that character from my favourite bed time story, he of little brain. The old saying is right, you can learn something new each day, all is good in the robbi world now, understanding has come to me. You see I actually thought that because you Americans are so very smart and invented heaps of really cool jiggers like spellcheck and microsoft that what you typed was correct for you, the typing folk that is. The robbi thought that is how you all spoke, sort of odd like and jumbled. I had hours of fun learning how to decipher all the funny words and meanings, actually threw in a few myself just to see if I could join in , hands across the ocean, brothers sisters in fracturing English so to speak. I live in hope that you continue on with your ‘typos’, they bring a sort of frisson to my life that leaves a spark and desire to bring some joy into my boring humdrum existence here at the anus of the world. Perhaps I could have said bottom of, but one is actually trying to use the correct grammar. Many of my countrymen/women drive manual cars,(as I do) and I would have to concede that their driving is really hell.One reason being I think is we tend to watch huge and copious quantities of American television so naturally believe that we should drive on the ‘other’ side when we are reliving the latest police drama or taxi ride through NYC. Bye the wey ,funster, a great and tiemely pist.
robbi’s last blog post..ink marks on a blank page Sun 8th Feb
On 18 February 2009 at 3:10 am Barbara Swafford said,
Hi Jannie – I LOVE this series of yours. You always have a way of making me laugh. I love #10 – hoe loans.
Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..Questioning Life & Blogging About It
On 18 February 2009 at 3:44 am Davina said,
Jannie these are hilarious! “blog writhing — LMAO”
Thanks for the linky.
Davina’s last blog post..The Morning Muse — Just Write
On 18 February 2009 at 4:27 am Evelyn LIm said,
Tank you! I enjoyed you post veri much!
Evelyn LIm’s last blog post..Installing Love On the Human Computer
On 18 February 2009 at 6:53 am sheila said,
Cute post! lol. I learned to drive with a stick shift. Ugghhhhh. My dad made me start at the bottom of a hill for my first lesson. I mastered it, but have since bought automatics. lol
sheila’s last blog post..Wordless full Wednesday ~ Growin’ Old With You
On 18 February 2009 at 11:12 am Jannie said,
Georgie: I wuz homeskooled by wolves. But you oughta see me take down a caribou!
Steph: And I don’t even have to work at these, they just pop up.
Weyrd1: I lost my spell checker in the war after I got that bad rash.
Caity: Yay! And I already have 6 new typos for the next batch, just 4 more to go!
Momisodes: Yeah, just as worried about getting a bit butt as I do a big one.
Lisa: Well, I guess there is a “right” hell and a “wrong” hell too??
Robbinski: “The Great Robbinski,” tho I live in this great America I am but a Green-Carder — a passport holding Canuck. But alas, these American ways have taken me over. I do use an auto-correct thingy on my e-mails, but were I to on all else, wheat joys wouldst I be robbing the world of wtih my typos, someday to be published in a Best-Selling book the world over? The anus of the world? I thought ’twas the promised land and a right jolly place down in your land. Another alas, the old human condisshun falls upon every shore I see. Oh so THAT’S why I got all those honks and saluting middle fingers whislt driving in your land – the other side of the road, yes makes such sense now. (Okay, so I’ve not been ot Oz yet, but I’m sure I would’ve drivven upon the errant side of the route. And may.)
Barbara: Thanks so much. I’ll be sure to keep ‘em coming. ( I hope so anyway.)
Davina: But of course, my little gust typo-er. YOUrs was a funny one.
Evelyn: Yoor welkomed. More to kome.
Sheila: I got my driver’s license (finally after… umn more than 2 road test tries, long story…) on a standard. All that freaking clutching in the morning in bumper-to-bumper traffic is a TOTAL PAIN IN THE ASS. But it was so funny when my pal came here from France because she couldn’t drive an automatic. Can you imagine? lol.
On 18 February 2009 at 11:20 am Jannie said,
Black Cat! Hi there, fellow Cohen fan. I fully admit to luring you over here. I do that sometimes when I put up my Bord On A Wire posts, I click our mutual “Leonard Cohen” tag on Blogger. And if I like your blog writhing, I leave a comment. So, WELCOME!! Sorry, I didn’t comment back to you sooner, I hadn’t been in to moderate my new comments yet – 3 spam and yours.
Yes our cat is a freaking wonderful being. A real mouser, and sorry if this is gross but, a cockroacher too.
LEONARD COHEN, just to speak his name is a sacred thing for me. I must go now before I break the hushed mood of him.
On 18 February 2009 at 11:31 am jessica said,
Number ten is hilarious. apparently, I made quite the freudian typo on my secret spineless whine the other day. Even spell check would not have caught that one
On 18 February 2009 at 1:39 pm Trey - Swollen Thumb Entertainment said,
That’s great. I’d probably have too much pride to post my typos like that.
Kudos for that!
Trey – Swollen Thumb Entertainment’s last blog post..How To Start A Record Label
On 18 February 2009 at 2:40 pm Sara said,
Jannie — Your list of typos was really funny. I liked “Your blog writhing always leaves me uplifted.” I remember a time before spell checkers. It’s wasn’t a good time for me. I’ve always had trouble with spelling and made some very embarrassing typos in my time…like spelling the word “such” with a “k” instead of an “h” on the end.
Sara’s last blog post..Laugh Away
On 18 February 2009 at 4:37 pm Shay said,
I am taking a little hiatus from the internet, but I had to stop in and see the typos.
Shay’s last blog post..Best Of
On 18 February 2009 at 5:39 pm robbi said,
Fondtipple,I confess to another wierd thinking of mine and would not have said diddly for a frog had Hortense never seen that which I posted on these hallowed pages about the typo’s etc.
I lay prostrate at your feet as it was that I used to say,”where on earth does she get all the witches to do the spells for the checking of?”. Forgive my humble person Friendstrupple as it is I am but an ignorant personage from OZ who knew no better. Of course you would not need multiple witches to do the spells(for the checking), just one would do.That one could do many spells !!! As a green card carrying Canuck you would be cognizant of that, so please accept my apology. ps. Are you green in colour or is it the card?
robbi’s last blog post..ink marks on a blank page Sun 8th Feb
On 18 February 2009 at 7:18 pm Jannie said,
Jessica: What typo? What was it? Do tell.
Trey: I never let my pride get in the way of a typo laugh. (Weird that way.)
Sara: Suck for such is such a good one! Hopefully some day I’ll make that typo and can us that too.
Shay: A little break does a body (and soul,)good. I’ll keep checking, of course, to see if you’ve posted. xo
Ribbi: I am green. With envy of your words. Oh, I think it’s the “21st Century Spell Checker Book’ the witches go by these day. Now available in handy paperback!
On 19 February 2009 at 10:16 am Kathy said,
This is off topic, but you won a copy of A Long Stone’s Throw audio on my blog and I need your address. Thanks!
Kathy’s last blog post..Review: Run For Your Life
On 19 February 2009 at 10:32 am Belle Bamford said,
I love the mohair background.
I just thought I should tell you.
And it doesn’t even feel scratchy!
Belle Bamford’s last blog post..RATATOUILLE
On 19 February 2009 at 5:29 pm Mama Zen said,
I just love good blog writhing!
Mama Zen’s last blog post..Junior X 2
On 19 February 2009 at 6:17 pm Jannie said,
Kathy: Thank you so extra much. I owe you.
Belle: Well, how sweet of you, thanks! Now that I know how to change the background, expect amazing and marvelous ones to magically appear from time to time. As to this particular one – the “mo” hair the better. Groans.
MamaZ: I actually think it was your blog I almost left the writhing comment on!
On 19 February 2009 at 8:16 pm Thomma Lyn said,
A gust post!! LOLOLOL… I think I’ll do some writhing on a gust post…
Hilarious stuff, Jannie!
On 19 February 2009 at 8:22 pm nikkicrumpet said,
I love these! How come my typos are so boring? And most of them I don’t see until after I hit “publish” I hope you keep messing up with your typing…because these make me laugh!
nikkicrumpet’s last blog post..~♥~ I WISH WEDNESDAY ~♥~
On 20 February 2009 at 1:58 am SnaggleTooth said,
Alright, without vramping up, I’ll give you this recent one- you need a laugh too!
SnaggleTooth’s last blog post..RnR
On 20 February 2009 at 6:12 am Crafty Green Poet said,
its being hopless round bunnies that gets me, every time
Crafty Green Poet’s last blog post..Garden update
On 20 February 2009 at 2:09 pm Jannie said,
Thomma Lyn: Your “writhing” is unparalled as well, which your soon-to-be-published Heart’s Chalice attests to.
Nikki: I do write really, really fast. My guess is you are a far superior typist to me.
Snag: You wicked vramp!
I love it! And you.
Crafty Green: They do seem to lord hoplessness over anyone who can’t, don’t they, those wascally rabbids?
On 20 February 2009 at 9:47 pm Kim Woodbridge said,
One of my favorites was from when I worked in tech support. The customer’s name was Lisa but for some reason I decided to start the email response with “Dear April,”. How did I ever get April from Lisa?
Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..How Twitter Can Assist You With Your Job Search
On 21 February 2009 at 4:20 am SnaggleTooth said,
How about this-
I can’t play my electric guitar without vramping up!
SnaggleTooth’s last blog post..RnR
On 21 February 2009 at 7:21 am Jeanne said,
Jannie,
Your typos always crack me up.
Jeanne
Jeanne’s last blog post.."Jeanne’s Endo Blog": What Can I Expect From Having A Laparoscopy???
On 25 February 2009 at 11:20 am Jannie said,
Kim: That’s funny, my ex-husband’s cousin was named Michelle for I could only call her Shelley for the first 3 years. Actually, we divorced after 3 years so I didn’t have to deal with the cousin name mix-up anymore.
Snag: Can’r touch that one!
Jeanne: I’ve got more, Baby, I’ve got more!! xo