Like a bord on a wire, 5 — Funny Typos
Funny Typos | Posted by Jannie on 9 March 2009 @ 5:26 AM 40 Comments
photo credit: Belgian John
1. … back when we used to run around the house starch naked.
2. Congrats on your short story’s horrible mention!
3. At first it might seem funny surfing blogs of “strangers” and commenting, but before you know it — you’ll smile every time you think of your blog biddies.
4. I’ll be the one bawling out my eyes.
5. Whatcha gonna do with the trolls when they come to inslut you?
6. What has gong missing of yours that you still think might turn up?
7. I already have 6 new typos for the nest batch, just 4 more to go!
8. I too considered hiring a life catch to help straighten out my direction.
9. May I suggest one of those dew-fangled ones?
10. I finally peeked at my site stats Wordpress Guru, Kim Woodbridge set up a couple of moths ago for me.
Here is the entire series thus far, in case you are interested. 
Funny Typos 10… Funny Typos 9… Funny Typos 8… Funny Typos 7… Funny Typos 6… Funny Typos 5… Funny Typos 4… Funny Typos 3… Funny Typos 2… Funny Typos 1…
On 9 March 2009 at 5:44 am K said,
I love these. It’s so good to now I’m not the only one who thinks faster than they can type (or maybe I type faster than I can think – either way).
Happy Monday!
K’s last blog post..Tame versus Domesticated
On 9 March 2009 at 7:29 am Glenn Buttkus said,
Your typos are legend. Even in your last responses to your Funsters on the tagline issue, you had some corkers.
* I cood never top your mefforts.
* When nailing use an iron hummer.
* My wife culled me today.
* Jannie droops in at several blogs pur day.
* Why do they call them “my”grains, why not “your”greens?
* We have sum more snow hair this morning.
* My pick up is punted red.
* Coaching is definitely overgated.
* My cat has fleece.
* We all get guns and guffaws when we stop by hear.
* I love peanut batter and jam on right bred.
* I two get a royal tang from your humor.
Glenn
Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..To Brooklyn Bridge
On 9 March 2009 at 8:00 am Joanna Young said,
These are wonderful – I’m smiling at the thought of all those blogging biddies out there
Joanna Young’s last blog post..34 Things I’m Not Going to Tell You About Blogging and Community
On 9 March 2009 at 9:02 am Cath Lawson said,
Duh – I spent ages looking at the title and pic and wondering what a bord was
Some of these are hilarious – especially the horrible story one.
I find it difficult to spot my typos, if they appear to make gramatical sense.
Stuart picked out one I’d made the other day:
“You’re lucky if you have a roof on your head.”
Of course, I meant over your head, which is far luckier than on, I guess.
On 9 March 2009 at 9:57 am debbie said,
Did you really do all of these? You are hysterical.
debbie’s last blog post..Can you hear me now?
On 9 March 2009 at 9:57 am Paige said,
I am more inclined to leave words out; or at times words that don’t belong in a sentence.
I will also tell y’all I enjoy your little typos and have wondered if they were on purpose, due to their extreme entertainment value for me.
Paige’s last blog post..Party Time ???
On 9 March 2009 at 10:18 am Belle Bamford said,
I hang on your every ward
Belle Bamford’s last blog post..WHY ARE YOU TRYING TO RUIN MY PERFECT LIFE?
On 9 March 2009 at 4:43 pm Chris said,
I think it’s amazing that you:
1) Catch all of these.
2) Remember them.
3) Have SO many GOOD ones!
Very fun!
Chris’s last blog post..Pasta Under the Piano
On 9 March 2009 at 5:00 pm Patricia said,
Thank you so much….you reelly ticked my hunny bones today
Patricia’s last blog post..“My Neighborhood Looks Like a Snow Globe!”
On 9 March 2009 at 6:20 pm G. said,
Fer shure.
Typos make the wurld go ’round.
G.’s last blog post..It’s A Fine Line Between Sexual And Sensual
On 9 March 2009 at 6:32 pm Heather Happymaker said,
I love your new festive backgrind!
Heather Happymaker’s last blog post..Lily’s crocheted flower toy pre and post-slobber
On 9 March 2009 at 7:06 pm Shay said,
Number 7 looks familiar!
Gee, I think I’ve gotten a few of those horrible mentions!
Anyway, the two mouths on the leaf are very cute. Your bog continues to be a wonderful place to lick back and relax. But why hasn’t there been any bro flinging lately? Are you still bummed because you missed the Leonard Kotex concert? His song “Bird On A Fire” is one of my favorites.
Shay’s last blog post..Chloe
On 9 March 2009 at 7:37 pm Rhett said,
well i dnt generally get ur around to unnerstadning the connotations to your typos . guess i lack american sensibilities
Rhett’s last blog post..In Retrospect
On 9 March 2009 at 9:00 pm Erin M said,
I really do have blog biddies. Seriously, I’m a member of several forums for moms… if a bunch of gossiping moms don’t qualify as biddies, I don’t know what does!
Erin M’s last blog post..things that bug me
On 9 March 2009 at 9:22 pm Talon said,
I needed a smile today and this was perfect! I’m thinking of reconsidering automatically correcting my typos…you’ve given them a whole new level of chic, Jannie.
On 9 March 2009 at 9:28 pm Vered - MomGrind said,
1. Hahahahaha
2. Kim is my guru too!
On 9 March 2009 at 9:51 pm Matthew Dryden said,
I am so confused, but how was the stats?
Matthew Dryden’s last blog post..Elizabeth and David
On 9 March 2009 at 9:53 pm Jannie said,
Happy Monday to you too, K. It’s been a long one but soon I shall lay me down to sleep. Probably have real weird dreams too, but that par for the Jannie course. Anything exciting in your realm? I’ll have to get over there and check.
Glenn! have you been saving those up??? They’re just brill. Your wife – she culled you from among all her other suitors? That doesn’t sound really promising. Peanut batter is my absolute favorite flavor. I might have some in the a.m.
Joanna, hi! Tons and tons of blogging biddies sitting with their wi-fi laptops on rocking chairs, scouring out of the corner of their eye out the window to see who’s doing what and going where with whom as they surf blogs.
Cath: Very lucky indeed to have a roof on your head!
lol.
Debbie: I am afraid I do have to take ownership for all these. One and all. Sigh.
Paige: The thing is they really aren’t on purpose. I guess I’m just highly suceptible to these happenings and taking notice of them.
Belle: Ahh, thanks. I’m loving your blogginess lately. Curious about what the next chapter will entail.
Chris: Thanks. There are lesser ones I let slide. And I suppose I do miss some. When I spot them I just copy and past to my Wordpress draft. Easy as pie!
Particia: I’d love to tickle the bottom of your feet with a feather until you scream blue murder, but since the miles do separate us, this is the best I can do.
Georgie: Hello Mr B, as in you are the new B all and end all in the flash fiction world! Thanks for dripping by yet again, my friend.
Heather: What who told you about my backgrind?!?!? That is one of my most private areas. nudge nudge, etc.
Shay: Was that to you?? I think your comment here is actually funnier than my post. You little dickens. He’s back here April 1st!! I kid thee not. Gotta snap me up some tikkets tomorree.
Rhett: Yes – I can see all my American English is lost on you. You are as sharp as a tack, from what I see. I konw not one word of Indian. Just samosas. Wait, is that food from your country?
Erin: Ah -ha! as in my comment to Joanna above?? Blog biddies, ha.
Vered: Kim Woodward is quite the Wordpress gal indeed. Did she help you much with your site?
Matthew: I think that was about a moth ago I looked at the stats and they were actually better than I’d feared. But been too chicken to go back and look again since then. Baak-baaawk
On 10 March 2009 at 2:22 am Miles McClagan said,
Theres no possible sentence where you can type insult as inslut and not having a cheeky giggle…
Miles McClagan’s last blog post..The cyclone and the Capp (Robert Tepper remix)
On 10 March 2009 at 4:29 am G said,
Yes, it is the wonderful Mr. B. (decided to change my moniker to what my close friends call me and how I sign off on my personal e-mails)
It’s always a blast coming to your blog.
And I just wanted to wish you good luck on your upcoming gig Wednesday. I’m sure you’ll knock ‘em alive.
G’s last blog post..It’s A Fine Line Between Sexual And Sensual
On 10 March 2009 at 5:20 am sheila said,
That reminds me, I have to buy moth balls.
sheila’s last blog post..Want your kid to be good all year?
On 10 March 2009 at 9:04 am Tess The Bold Life said,
Jannie,
I hate to admit this but at first I thought you were writing a script for the two moths! Ha
Tess The Bold Life’s last blog post..Magic Mondays Are 1/7 of Your Life!
On 10 March 2009 at 10:18 am J.D. Meier said,
For some reason I think the dew-fangled ones are probably the best. They just sound right.
J.D. Meier’s last blog post..Avoid Mental Burnout
On 10 March 2009 at 11:02 am Kim Woodbridge said,
I think an insult is better than an inslut
One time in tech support I asked a customer a question via email about his previous company but types precious company – sounded like I was being a total smart-ass.
Kim Woodbridge’s last blog post..Eating and Drinking With WordPress Plugins
On 10 March 2009 at 11:39 am Dot said,
I was far from bord by these! — Biddie Dot
Dot’s last blog post..OpenOffice Extensions
On 10 March 2009 at 12:29 pm Aimee said,
I *heart* number 5. Sounds like the plot line of a bad Sci-Fi movie! Too good!!
On 10 March 2009 at 1:38 pm Robyn McMaster said,
Hi Jannie, Love the surprises you bring through your approaches so I have named your blog for a Premio Dardos award. The The Premio Dardos is “bestowed for recognition of cultural, ethical, literary and personal values transmitted in the form of creative and original writing.”
Robyn McMaster’s last blog post..Premio Dardos Awards
On 10 March 2009 at 3:33 pm wade said,
The more I look at “bawling out my eyes” the more I think about it. On the one hand, it does mean “yelling” at your eyes, that’s true, but can’t it really be used interchangably with “bawling my eyes out” ? I admit that it would be a closer question if it was “bawling out of my eyes” but we omit “of” lots of times in expressions like that.The truth of the matter is that the phrase is hard to understand. “Bawling” does not refer to tears, but to the sound you make when crying uncontrolably, and I assume comes from the expresion of saying that a cow is “bawling” when making noise. I don’t know when we changed over to mooing for cows, I think bawling works for any mammal. But no animal of any kind can “bawl” out of the eyes.Much less actually “bawl” their eyes out.
On 10 March 2009 at 4:25 pm Jannie said,
Miles: Kinda cheeky, yes.
Sheila: Jim’s installing cedar in our closets which smell great and keep them pesky moths away. You can even get little cedar bits to hang in your closet.
Tess: Yes, they are going to star in a tale of star-crossed insects.
J.D. I’ve ordered a brand-spanking set of the dew-fangled ones.
Kim: I love that one. You are your precious company yikes. A wee embarassing.
Hey Biddie-Dot : I’ll try not to bord you next time either. I may wait unti I get 20.
Aimee: Yeah, a sci-fi moth show.
Wase: Are you a lawyer or soemthing?
On 10 March 2009 at 4:33 pm robbi said,
Frinstpole of the texas, Typos / spoonerisms: made popular by Colonel Lemuel Q. Stoopnagle who published a series of spoof books such as “Tairy and Other Fales”,”Beeping Sleauty”. Alas mine are never as original or as funny. Shel Silverstein wrote a great little book called ” Runny Babbit: A Billy Sook” and Kenney Everett used to do a segment on his TV show where he used very naughty spooners, mostly a bit too off-colour for such august pages as these. As a male who many years ago had a vasectomy I love your little Bord on a wire series and I can say that without fear of contraception.With thatxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
robbi’s last blog post..ink marks on a blank page 6th March
On 10 March 2009 at 5:56 pm Miladysa said,
Tickled me punk ;D
Miladysa’s last blog post..89. Done Deal
On 10 March 2009 at 7:36 pm Jannie said,
Robyn: I am duly verklempt at your most surpirsing news. Thank you so very much. After The CHild is in bed I will veer on over your way to see what the honor entails.
Robbindity: Sometimes Sillivization scares me a bit and there are no wild mulberries around here. Should I get some chickens??
Miladysa: Did you listen to Sid Vicsious et al in your wild younger years?
On 11 March 2009 at 10:41 am Jannie said,
Georgie! Sorry, you got stuck in comment moderation. Your new “G” moniker did it, I think.
It’s raining, we may or may not play today, we’ll see what the sky is doing closer to 4:00. THANK YOU!!! For such break-a-leg sentiments. You are sweet to mention it.
On 11 March 2009 at 3:25 pm G said,
It’s quite possible my new moniker did it. I follow a few other Wordpress blogs and I experienced the same small problem with those as well.
No harm done.
Here’s hoping that the rain went away and that you knocked ‘em dead.
G’s last blog post..Why Did You Choose Your Particular Writing Niche?
On 11 March 2009 at 4:08 pm Rhett said,
Yeah, that’s from my country.
regarding Woody Allen movies, yeah, they are the best. it was watching Annie Hall for the nth time that I paused and started writing at wordpad.
Rhett’s last blog post..In Retrospect
On 11 March 2009 at 6:11 pm robbi said,
Frostipole, Chickens are good, not only to eat their produce but also they will keep any wild mulberries you have in line. I have found over some years of wild mulberrying that to carry a chook under one arm whilst indulging in said pastime(wild mulberrying)increases ones ability to actually catch and devour said mulberries. That I do not know if it is just the presence of the chook that keeps the mulberry hanging onto the stalk thus preventing same from escaping,or whether or no said chook’s beady eye holds the mulberry transfixed whilst awaiting the outstretched finger of the picker(me). Of course there are inherent dangers in holding a chook under one arm, they are of course numerous, but here are one two or fur of the more frequent type.(1) The chook could have a bowel motion resulting in a stain on ones jacket (2)chooks have beady eyes that follow one around the room (3)they are quicker than humans at spotting wild anythings and peck first ,taking no prisoners (4) it is hard to hold a chook under one arm and thus to look normal and or nonchalant.
Having said that I do enjoy carrying a chicken under one arm at all times mindful of course of the pitfalls of such pursuits. I remain yrs fth Robbi ps No, the chicken is the one under MY arm.
robbi’s last blog post..ink marks on a blank page 11th march
On 11 March 2009 at 6:15 pm robbi said,
Frunster,There is an O missing in four. I am a robbi but do know that chickens are dressed in feathers , not fur.Although with climate change ???? I am still yrs fth robbi
robbi’s last blog post..ink marks on a blank page 11th march
On 12 March 2009 at 9:12 am Jannie said,
Robbility: Ah, methoughts yer chooks do have fur, in the land down under anything seems possible, weird weather or not. Will a chook eat a banana?
On 18 March 2009 at 1:50 am SnaggleTooth said,
You’ve made me giggle again-
What only 38 comments? I’ll fix that.
SnaggleTooth’s last blog post..Blahoogha
On 19 March 2009 at 11:03 am Jannie said,
Snag: And this makes 40!! I certainly get more comments per post when I leave it up top for 3 or 4 days, than just 2 days, as this one.