Folks, I couldn’t make these up if I tried! Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 2

Funny Searches, Seriously Weird | Posted by Jannie on 16 May 2009 @ 4:27 PM 57 Comments

photo credit: about.com

May I please share with you some of the latest  keywords that actual humans actually typed to land on this, my humble site, as shown by my Google stats?  Why, thank you, I’d be delighted!

– almost passed out at sink
– asparagus tea
– ass-less hipwaders
– bra consultants
– being a drunk [Yup, that’s me!]
– do greencarders need passport
– duct tape depilatory
– dylan thomas bra [Well, I never knew! Did you?]
– even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted
– eye-bug-you [Well, sorry, that’s just the way I came.]
– fat guy in hip waders
– film with jannie the christian girl
– funstermagic [I like to think so!]
– fuzzy cookie monster pants
– granniepanties
– honest things in this world [Thanks, I do try.]
– how to play mission impossible on a ukulele
– I hear god’s voice in my head.  Am i crazy?
– I’ve got a chainsaw [Bring it on!]
– jannie supermodel [Hope I didn’t disappoint.]
– jock straps with four leaf clovers
– male bra fittings
– margarita drunk vs wine drunk
– missing things from the eighties
– mortuary assistant cover letter
– poem great farting contest [What !?]
– real life pictures of loose pants
– real good poems about people running away
– shih tzu puppy eats potpourri
– shortest bike shorts
– talon twinkle [Yes, she does, doesn’t she!]
– ten things an ideal woman should have  [Glad you noticed.]
– thick fuzzy underwear
– totally jannie
– wedgie dojo exercise video
– what mean asparagus hunted you

What about you guys – any “interesting” keywords that landed folks on your site lately?

If you too have Google Analytics but are not sure how to get to the keywords section, do this… Dashboard >Traffic sources > Keywords.  Easy!

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  • 1

    On 20 May 2009 at 9:57 pm

    MiaHysteria said, 

    I’ll forgive you if you forgive me. Tee-hee.

    MiaHysteria’s last blog post..I Won’t Take Responsibility

  • 2

    On 21 May 2009 at 9:17 am

    Salwa said, 

    Ok, this post really made me laugh. I mean “poem great farting contest” (huh?)

    Salwa’s last blog post..It’s a Blog, Not a Sales Letter!

  • 3

    On 22 May 2009 at 8:05 am

    Renee said, 

    Jannie, I must confess that it was ME who found you while searching “Ass-less Hipwaders that I lost in the Eighties.” How delighted I was to find YOU here at the end of the rainbow instead.

    Your CD is a sheer delight. I listened to it yesterday on my way to and from work and it just made me smile. Your beautiful daughter has definitely inherited the talent gene… ADORABLE…

    Renee :)

    P.S. If you DO find a man who cooks, cleans, does yardwork, and won’t leave, will you see if he has a brother for me? I’m not above trading my hubby in….

    Renee’s last blog post..More Art Class Madness

  • 4

    On 22 May 2009 at 8:51 am

    Jannie said, 

    Mia: Forgiven forever, both you and me.

    Salwa: Told ya I couldn’t make these up if I tried!! Can’t wait to read the next ones.

    Renee: My jovial sprite of a friend! I think I have located the ass-less hipwaders! In my garage beside the ass-less jeans I wore to my cousin’s bar mitzvah in ’85!!! Shall I send them to the same address as the CD went to? Speaking of the CD, so glad it arrived intact and that you are liking it. Baby, just wait ’til the next one! Gonna be in super stardom then! :)

  • 5

    On 22 May 2009 at 10:41 pm

    Renee said, 

    Jannie, just keep the hipwaders… I have gained weight and the girdle peeking through would just not be NEARLY as sexy as my large white arse…

    Renee’s last blog post..Swimsuit Anxiety

  • 6

    On 23 May 2009 at 6:55 am

    brandi said, 

    “-fat guy in hip waders

    – fuzzy cookie monster pants

    – I’ve got a chainsaw”

    i just spit on my computer screen…lol

    brandi’s last blog post..seriously though…joy

  • 7

    On 23 May 2009 at 8:55 pm

    Bella said, 

    LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    That is HILARIOUS, great post!

  • 8

    On 23 May 2009 at 9:15 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Renee: I’ll bring them by on my next trip through TN, which will actually be my second trip ever, the first being in 1994 on a big old Ryder truck on a 5-day trek to N.S. I just got a lovely new girdle too. It’s an ankle to neck inclusive one. A little hot for this time of the year but it gives a nice sleek look under my bustle and corsets.

    Brandi: Quite outlandish, ain’t they? I wonder what the next ones will be? So great to see you back here, ya Joy Rebal, ya! Lance did not steer me wrong on your blog, that’s for sure.

  • 9

    On 1 July 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? - PcQL Article said, 

    […] and more bizarre complaints from Webmasters pertain to unrelated keyword hits for their site. Janniefunster.com recently blogged about the weird keyword searches for her Web site. Janniefunster’s keyword hits […]

  • 10

    On 1 July 2009 at 8:09 pm

    miranda05.blogr.com - stories - 2009-07-02-Missing-the-Target-with-Your-Keyword-Hits- said, 

    […] and more bizarre complaints from Webmasters pertain to unrelated keyword hits for their site. Janniefunster.com recently blogged about the weird keyword searches for her Web site. Janniefunster’s keyword hits […]

  • 11

    On 1 July 2009 at 8:35 pm

    Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? « Search Engine optimization said, 

    […] and more bizarre complaints from Webmasters pertain to unrelated keyword hits for their site. Janniefunster.com recently blogged about the weird keyword searches for her Web site. Janniefunster’s keyword hits […]

  • 12

    On 1 July 2009 at 9:37 pm

    Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? | Search Engine optimization said, 

    […] and more bizarre complaints from Webmasters pertain to unrelated keyword hits for their site. Janniefunster.com recently blogged about the weird keyword searches for her Web site. Janniefunster’s keyword hits […]

  • 13

    On 6 July 2009 at 8:21 pm

    » Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? Search Engine optimization said, 

    […] and more bizarre complaints from Webmasters pertain to unrelated keyword hits for their site. Janniefunster.com recently blogged about the weird keyword searches for her Web site. Janniefunster’s keyword hits […]

  • 14

    On 6 July 2009 at 8:48 pm

    Hits Missing the Target with Your Keyword? « Who is the Social Media King of the World? said, 

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  • 15

    On 9 July 2009 at 1:13 am

    SEO Your Twitter Posts » Blog Archive » Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? said, 

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  • 16

    On 9 July 2009 at 1:52 pm

    Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? | Whixy said, 

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  • 17

    On 12 July 2009 at 10:33 pm

    Creative Blogs » Blog Archive » Missing the Target with Your Keyword Hits? said, 

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