Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 3

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 20 June 2009 @ 7:09 AM 36 Comments

photo credit: deefilly

Friends, more things people actually typed to land themselves here.

1: Bras

— elf flinging bra
— four leaf clover bra
— secretary must never wear a bra
— bra appreciation
— fitting men for bras
— bra cookies come out  (Yeah, I can totally relate!  And cake is even worse, especially the heavily-frosted kind.)
— lost bra poem  (Anyone inspired to write one?)
— boob sock (this category, right?)
— bras of the world

2:  Bords

— jump on a bord and make people fly
— i don’t know what to do because i am bord (Hey, that person learned to spell here!)
— fly like a bord

3: Hipwaders / Butts

— how to dress under hip waders (same as under a kilt?)
— do doctor take off pant to give the shot to woman in the butt
— naked hipwaders
— I love when my wife wears hipwaders
— fishing waders for a guy who wears size 42 pants
— i fell in with my waders video
— indentation buttocks
— powder blue fishing waders (yes, my favorite color too!)

4: Magic / Fuzzy

— pictures of monkeys wearing magic cloths
— crocheting your own fuzzy boots
— magic the pants
— fuzzy poet

5: All Else

— kick um jannie
— eternal smooches
— get freaking drunk
— jannie putter
— kitchie kookie
— bionic clover
— mood of poem to the virgin
— kungfonster
— hated because I have a nice home
— ten most popular places for missing passport to turn up
— I think I’m crazy keep doing funny voices
— caring for a milkcow
— why did orgo iron his four-leaf clover
— ill preparedness
— debbies dacshunds
— disappointed grandmother (Poor Grannie Jannie)
— circus striped pants 36
— first crush julie andrews
— real drunk russian
— allergic to ukulele
— debbie shore in thigh high boots
— girls chainsaws videos
— hanging wedgie dares
— i got talent chainsaw
— woman milking cow videos
— one sad old bunny is reading blogs

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  • 1

    On 20 June 2009 at 7:47 am

    robbi said, 

    Forstall,a pome ’bout bras.

    I lost me bra
    behind the bar,
    at least I thinks i did
    an me undies won’ be far
    at least me bra
    dint fall off inna spa,
    ‘cos I normally flings it,
    but the elastic gave way
    wen me an the boss
    hadda roll inna hay
    is rilly important
    as the left wuns got droop
    help me find it
    else i’m inna poop

    robbi’s last blog post..Ink marks on a blank page tues 16th June

  • 2

    On 20 June 2009 at 7:57 am

    Caity said, 

    Hahahahahaha. I love these posts so much. That is just fantastic!!

    Caity’s last blog post..The last day of subbing.

  • 3

    On 20 June 2009 at 8:32 am

    Renee said, 

    I must say now I am absolutely enthralled with the idea of monkeys wearing magic clothes! But how can you tell that from just a picture? Hmmm….. I also must ponder how one could possibly be allergic to a ukelele…

    Renee’s last blog post..More Ugly Art….

  • 4

    On 20 June 2009 at 8:51 am

    Jannie said, 

    Robbi! My man, I knew I could count on you for a good bra poem.

    let me try one too.

    I used to have a little bra
    I wore it everywhere
    but I flinged it to the ceiling fan
    and it’s still hanging there.


    Caity: Whee-hoo!! This was a long list because I went back to all the previous months I hadn’t looked at yet. I plan on posting new ones once a month! And I think checking my stats once a month will work fine for me. Whee-hoo!

    Renee! I have missed you so much, but I know how folks get busy, and Real Life once in a while supercedes blogging. SO GREAT to see you again, you sweet little artistic nut-case. (I mean that in the nicest way, of course.) Your visit has brightened my heart. Oh, and allergic to ukulele, maybe it’s a certain kind of wood allergy, Hawaiin koa wood perhaps? I picture some poor soul all broken out in full-body welts after picking up a uke. Poor guy. Or gal.

  • 5

    On 20 June 2009 at 8:59 am

    sheila said, 

    pics of monkeys wearing magic clothes? BLAHHHAAA HAAA. Or the wedgie one? People search for the weirdest stuff.

    sheila’s last blog post..“Ask your doctor if this is right for you!”

  • 6

    On 20 June 2009 at 9:42 am

    Mama Zen said, 

    Indentation buttocks? The possibilities are endless!

    Mama Zen’s last blog post..Contentment

  • 7

    On 20 June 2009 at 12:13 pm

    Talon said, 

    So I just have to know…what HAVE you been doing with all those missing passports? Inquiring spies want to know 😉

    Talon’s last blog post..Do you

  • 8

    On 20 June 2009 at 12:54 pm

    Davina said, 

    Jannie, okay whaaa? :-) Get freaking drunk, bionic clover, allergic to ukulele… thankfully that last one is not your search. This are hilarious. I couldn’t wait to read through this list. Thanks for the Saturday smile.

    My most exciting search word is “naughty”. :-)

    Davina’s last blog post..365 Days & Still Blogging

  • 9

    On 20 June 2009 at 1:04 pm

    Vered - MomGrind said, 

    People are insane.

    Vered – MomGrind’s last blog post..Friday Links

  • 10

    On 20 June 2009 at 6:28 pm

    TheWeyrd1 said, 

    So here I am in COLD COLD Oregon, with LAYERS on trying to stay warm, but I’m STILL checking your website. Sorry to hear about the scanner turned frier…or something like that. My new camera jammed up right before I left, so I’m stuck with the camera phone, but it has no flash…

    PS. I RESPONDED to the meme you tagged me with, but have you commented on it…nooooooooooooo…heh.

    TheWeyrd1’s last blog post..Wednesday’s Wine – A White One and a Red One

  • 11

    On 20 June 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching said, 

    Personally, I would be interested in seeing some circus-striped hip waders.

  • 12

    On 20 June 2009 at 8:23 pm

    Sire said, 

    I usually check to see what keywords people are using to land on my blogs and like you have found they can be quite astounding, so much so that it inspired me to do a similar post to this one. At first I couldn’t work out how such obscure keywords could possibly lead people to a post that had absolutely nothing to do with them, and then I realized that a lot of the times it’s something to do with the comments.

    Sire’s last blog post..From Birth To Realization Of The Word

  • 13

    On 20 June 2009 at 8:59 pm

    Cath Lawson said, 

    You get a lot of crazy visitors here Jannie. I hope that woman is not still worrying about the doctor taking off his pants. If she is that worried I think she should go to a woman doctor.

    Cath Lawson’s last blog post..Would You Jump Off A Cliff To Find Out?

  • 14

    On 21 June 2009 at 12:26 am

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    Sorry your extravaganza plans pooped out.
    Hopefully Dad’s Day goes well –

    Pretty amusing- I wonder how folks come up with this stuff!
    I think – bionic clover- was smoking it in a crack pipe
    Cool stats

    SnaggleTooth’s last blog post..Creative Minds Guess B

  • 15

    On 21 June 2009 at 2:25 am

    Barbara Swafford said, 

    WOW Jannie,

    You sure get found by some strange search strings. After reading yours, mine are pretty mild.

    Barbara Swafford’s last blog post..When The Conversation Moves Off Of Your Blog

  • 16

    On 21 June 2009 at 5:33 am

    Natural said, 

    i always enjoy reading what people search for to arrive at someone’s blog. i still don’t know how to do that for my own. someone said i need to install a google code, i tried it with my website and that didn’t work, so i gave up.

    Natural’s last blog post..Why Wait, Buy Now!

  • 17

    On 21 June 2009 at 6:37 am

    Lance said, 

    Hey Jannie,
    So…this is the place to come for videos, eh? Why can’t I find that milking cow video of you? How did I miss it? Was this the same one where you were also in your hipwaders? A classic, I’m sure…

    Lance’s last blog post..Sunday Thought For The Day

  • 18

    On 21 June 2009 at 7:17 am

    Jannie said, 

    Sheila, you know that BLAHHHAAA HAAA thing you write? I would so love for you to tape yourself on video saying that out loud so I get the full brunt of your pronunciation. So many possibilities for nunaces in interpretation – I’d love to hear it from the author herself. :) Could you do that for me, please and thanks?

    Mama Zen: I did have that exact term in a poem, but WHO searches this stuff?!

    Talon: Oh, you know the usual places — between the sofa cushions, under the bed, in a box under the old oak out back, wall safe, secret spaces between walls. Underneath my ice cube trays. In my shampoo bottle. I have well over a hundred passports now. Oh, and watch — the FBI will come a knock-knock-knocking on Jannie’s door, at this revelation.

    Davina: I dont’ know what I’d do if I were allergic to my ukulele. Have to stop singing that song probably. Lose my recording contract and Leno appearances. ‘twood be a sad thing indeed.

    Vered: Am I one of them, is the question? The insane peeps, that is. :)

    Weyrd1: Wow, still checking in on my site, eh! I am so going over to check out the meme after I post this. Wish I was in Oregon. One of the States still on my list.

    Chris Edgar: Why fish in boring old grey or green waders when you can have circus-striped ones, indeed!

    Sire: Well hello and welcome. Yes, you are quite right that it’s in the comments. Quite amazing how the site crawlers put all this stuff together. I mostly get bounces of course for the searches, but stats show sometimes people actually stay on the site for a while.

    Cath: You know, you have made me open my eyes on that doctor having to take of pants to give a woman a shot thing. Here I was thinking all along it was the doctor requesting the info and not the potential patient. Your interpretation makes so much more sense — and gives me renewed confidence in our medical professionals!

    Snaggletooth: I really need to buy my own scanner for pix. I have one to scan regular paper but the way it’s designed, photos can’t pass the roller. Anyway, it’s Fathers Day as we speak, wow, it came up so fast. And I’ll do a Jimmy post in the future. Bionic clover? Who the heck knows, eh? It’s a very wild world indeed. Ooo Baby Baby, it’s a wild world. It’s hard to get by just upon a smile, Girl… :)

    Barbara: Millions and millions of people using the internet in the world and I do seem to attract some weird ones. Maybe the weirdest? Its surprises me for such a tame site I got going on here. :)

    Natural: I actually couldn’t not figure it out myself so I availed myself of the services of Kim Woodridge to put the Google code where it needed to be in my site. Let me post this comment, go see if I can find where the little code snippet is and come back here, to add onto this comment by telling you what and were to look for the code…

    NATURAL!! The Google Analytics code goes in your Footer… Dashboard> Design> Theme Editor > footer.php. Any problems, please ask me. I’m such the pro on this! :)

    Hey Lance: I think Vimeo ate my cow milking video. Or maybe it just had so many hits it blew the Internet up. :)

  • 19

    On 21 June 2009 at 7:41 am

    Adrenalynn said, 

    You know, the funny part isn’t the fact that people have actually searched for this, but that the searches lead them to your blog. Just sayin’.

    Adrenalynn’s last blog post..I’m not even going to try to come up with a title for this.

  • 20

    On 21 June 2009 at 8:40 am

    Paige said, 

    Well now it is perfectly oblivious to me that I needs me some more keyworlds. Think these will get ms hits or just you?

    I’m such a goober, curious,
    I wonder, if y’all will wander over and find out.

    Seems both of us were psyching into the same zone and are now goading the other?

    Humm lost bra, huh?

    Paige’s last blog post..What a Surprise!

  • 21

    On 21 June 2009 at 8:55 am

    Shay said, 

    Oh dear. I worry about the man who likes his wife in hipwaders. I worry about her even more.

    Shay’s last blog post..A Poetic Biography Of Dante Alighieri

  • 22

    On 21 June 2009 at 12:44 pm

    karyn said, 

    love the picture of the bunny!

  • 23

    On 21 June 2009 at 1:53 pm

    Lynn said, 

    Dang that’s funny! My favorite was the very last, “one sad old bunny is reading blogs” – but who could be sad reading this blog that totally makes my day. :)

    Lynn’s last blog post..Other, multi-tasking and sitting in the sunshine

  • 24

    On 22 June 2009 at 2:49 am

    J.D. Meier said, 

    I like kunfongster. It sounds powerful and mystical … sort of like Godzilla or King Kong meets Hong Kong Phooey.

    J.D. Meier’s last blog post..Sources of Insight is 10 Months Old

  • 25

    On 22 June 2009 at 5:50 am

    Tammy said, 

    Dear blue bunny did you see Jannie flash the mailman? Did he press charges? or did he come back the next day with a pair of binoculors?
    Blue bunny if you smell carrots and onions boiling in a pot, remember you might be more than just an invited guest to dinner…….run blue bunny run!

  • 26

    On 22 June 2009 at 8:40 am

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    Oh Jannie, where does one begin? The Bunny pic is other worldly, like a composite shot; very cute and cool. The fact that on father’s day, the father has foupawed and forgotten the camera is typical of such days, such Hallmark induced specialness. Hope the man who shall remain “nameless” had a great Father’s Day regardless.

    I guess one will have to publish two books by Miss Jannie, BORDS ON A WIRE, and KEYWORDS FROM KUCKOOS.
    There is some really great stuff here.

    1: Bras
    –elf flinging bra brings up imagery of gremlins, lepracauns, trolls, smurfs all flinging bras.
    –what about golden metal bras? That was a corker too.
    –boob sock brings into play socks of all kinds, even the ones fitted for male genitalia, which shall remain
    nameless as well.
    –bras of the world, some of made of canvas, rubber, twigs, ferns, silk, yak skin, metal, and plastic too.
    –bra appreciation…for women over forty…DD.
    –four leaf clover bra, now that one is clever and odd, conjuring up daisy bra, thorny bras, sunflower bras,
    huckleberry bras, and dandelion bras too.

    2. Bords
    –long bords, painted bords, stained bords, weather proofed bords
    —Big Bord, naughty bords, wingless bords.
    –Bord of directors
    –all abord who’s going abord.

    3. Hipwaders/Butts
    –Butts of the World, Jannie feature to come.
    –she had freckles on her but she is nice.
    –naked hipwaders was a feature in Playboy I think.
    –Speckled hipwaders for trout lovers
    –polka dotted hipwaders for tall wet grass.
    –barber striped hipwaders for hippies.

    4. Magic/Fuzzy
    –fuzzy poet is me in the mirror in the morning.
    –magic the pants is to pixie dust to panties.
    –crocheting your own fuzzy bra, no underwire, extra elastic; guarenteed to fling forty feet.

    5. All Else
    –kick em, sock it to em, smack em, bitch slap em Jannie.
    –eternal smooches is precious, like the Kelly good night smooch
    –get freaking crazy, sing yer freaking head off, kick freaking butt
    –Jannie putter, Jannie wood, Jannie slice, Jannie in the ruff.
    –Kungfonster, the monster that ate Dallas,
    Kungfonster Returns, and she is freaking angry!
    Kungfonster Chocolates; made in Java by elfs.
    –You think you’re crazy because you never run out of funny jibes, ideas, images, lyrics, pics, and puns.
    –caring for a milkcow, gathering goats, sheep lingerie shop, cattle drivers rule, sheepherder drool.
    –if orgo could iron his four-leaf clover, look out blue bunny when he runs out of yellow and green rabbit’s feet.
    –debbies dacshunds, kathy’s collies, germaine’s german shepherds, betty’s basset hounds, wally’s wolfhounds, chico’s chawow-wa’s, cornelia’s cockers.
    –real drunk russian leads to hopping hawaiians, corny canadians, sea sick australians, munching mexicans.
    –one happy bunny, bluish in tinge, has taken over some blogs.

    Heck, it’s all good here in Funsterland.


    Glenn Buttkus’s last blog post..Mapleness

  • 27

    On 22 June 2009 at 9:40 am

    John Hoff - WpBlogHost said, 

    Hi Jannie. I love it when people post the funny keyword list. I should write the “lost bra poem” hehe.

    Now Google those terms, see if there are any affiliate links or products related, and write the post hehehe.

    John Hoff – WpBlogHost’s last blog post..WpBlogHost Domain, Blog Security, & Hosting Promotions – Get’em While Their Hot

  • 28

    On 22 June 2009 at 10:23 am

    Jannie said, 

    my jannnie not forgets about you. she be wit you soon she eats some tacos. and milks the cow.

  • 29

    On 22 June 2009 at 2:15 pm

    Belle Bamford said, 

    Another bunch of hilarious ones. I’ve missed you Jannie!

    Belle Bamford’s last blog post..BEAUTY SCHOOL DROP-OUT

  • 30

    On 22 June 2009 at 4:26 pm

    G said, 


    Not sure what happened to the blog just now, unless its my computer acting goofy, but some of the print is like stuck at 4 point or something.

    Anyways, you get some nifty landings for yours. With Feedjit, I can see exactly what blog post a person’s reading, and let me tell you, some of the posts that they’re reading leave me scratching my head sometimes.

    G’s last blog post..50 Random ?’s: #26-50

  • 31

    On 22 June 2009 at 5:07 pm

    Patricia said, 

    Very funny – most of my list is about author’s names and Breakfast with the Buddha
    Your list is entirely more entertaining.

    Someone I know and will not name did not mail my letter to Canada – it was in HIS pocket all weekend. I am going to have to read that book really fast to get the review done in a timely fashion.
    Thanks Jannie…this was very fun

    Patricia’s last blog post..What Good are Fathers For?

  • 32

    On 22 June 2009 at 5:52 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Hey, guys. Boy, did it take an etra-long time for the cow milking today! And isn’t just soooo great that Blue Bunny steps in and helps me out when he knows I need a hand.

    Adrenalynn: I am a magnet for all things strange. And often wonderful.

    Guys, I’m soooo tired. I have to come back and chat with you later. Maybe not even until morning. Sorry. Literally falling asleep here at the old blogging wheel.

  • 33

    On 22 June 2009 at 10:52 pm

    MiaHysteria said, 

    So…Boob Socks? I can’t imagine any time I would actually even contemplate putting those words together, much less in a search…unless of course I was responding to a Jannie Funster post. LOL.

    “Pictures of monkeys wearing magic clothes”…okay, now I’m scared.

    Kungfonster….LOL. That should be one of your tag lines!

    MiaHysteria’s last blog post..Not Me Monday ~ 6-22-09

  • 34

    On 23 June 2009 at 1:51 am

    Ella said, 

    I have heard about these searches, and find it amazing what people are looking for. Why just the other day I typed “What do…” in to the Google search window and the pop down menu of recently searched for phrases included “What do boobs feel like?”
    O.M.G!!! He’s very curious that boy of mine. I hope he isn’t finding about all that at camp this week…

  • 35

    On 23 June 2009 at 5:55 am

    K said, 

    I clearly need to write about bras more often.

    I love SEO stuff. It’s so funny to see what some people search for.

    K’s last blog post..Random Tuesday Strikes Again

  • 36

    On 23 June 2009 at 7:30 am

    Jannie said, 


    Paige: As your blog grows and you have more and more stuff for people to search yu could gin readership indeed. you must relinquish your keyworld oblivion if you with to take over the world. Goober? Same zone? What are you doing over there in paradise land??

    Shay: Maybe she likes it. You never know.

    Karyn: Isn’t it cute! Kelly insisted we set it as the new desktop background. One sad old bunny is reading blogs. Who knew?

    Lynn; You totally make my day too! On many many an occasion. And I’ll be posting my new earth-shattering revelations as soon as I’m done with these kommints.

    J.D. Could it be the Kung Fun Monster? Or Kung Fu Monster? I’ve been called both those before.

    Tammy: If you only knew what Blue Bunny has seen in this household in his one short year with us so far. Mailman posting very very soon.

    Hey Glenn: And where do I s tart with YOUR comment? Jim did had a great Fathers Day, yes I think indeed. Kelly was so sweet — she catered to him hand and foot. Did you have a good one too? “daisy bra, thorny bras, sunflower bras, huckleberry bras, and dandelion bras too. ” That could really set a trend. A whole industry indeed. Me too on the morning fuzzy poetness.
    What about Shelia’s shih-tzus? And you realize, Glenn that you’ve just upped the ante on bring more nuts here, due to your nutty comment? :)

    Hay John. Welcome! Great Gravatar, a nice little ad there for your blog. I’ve been meaning to check you out since your guest post over at Bloggng without a Blog. Thanks so much for popping by. Sounds like you have a great sense of humor. And good idea there on the possible post!

    Belle: Not as much as I’ve missed you!

    G: That’s weird on the font thing. You mean here on my blog, it was acting weird, right? Feedjit is fun. I notice I get a lot of folks on the SEO posts, more than any others.

    Hey Patricia: I get some pretty mundane ones mostly, but these I’ve chosen just tend to stick out. And even if I collect them whilst Im all a-glow with wine, these do tend to still seem funny in the morning. So what’s this about a book review — the letter in some anonymous someone’s pocket was to order the book?

    Jannie: You slept 10 hours. You good to go now??

    Mia: Hey, great idea on the Kungfonster tagline!!

    Ella: I was very interested in your search, so I just Googled and the top ones today are… What do I know. What do animals regret? What do mice eat. A wild wild world.

    K: Yes, if you want new readers beating down your door, go for bra posts as much as possible. I’ll be doing these SEO posts once a month. Just for grins.

    And there you have it! ta-da.

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