Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 4
Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 5 August 2009 @ 8:36 AM 47 Comments
And now the July 2009 edition of “interesting phrases” people typed to find their way to Funsterland…
photo credit:citydata
– did shirley temple do crazy things
– turn up your hearing aid
– my hairbrush is down my girdle
– have you tried brabuddy
– I’m seeing the #44 all the time — what does it mean
– is there cinnamon in miracle whip
– hanging wedgie videos
– she had freckles on her but she was nice
– thank you poem for a school bus driver
– sugar lady is too fat for me
– milking cow songs
– my girlfriend puts quarters in her bra
– “girdle boy” stories
– big ass kim pictures
– bra connection wedgie pics
– i am walking in a diner doo doo doo lyrics
– funny things you couldn’t make up
– debbie shore legs
– a poem of feeling a sofa
– bra welder
– can poltergeists take things
– how to lift your spirits with the right bra
– I’m wearing my fishing waders for Christmas
– large lady videos
– my dog ate dried potpourri
– pain in the butt coworker poem
– the stylist noticed my husband’s bra while perming my hair
– reviews of twinkle dentist
– satan in a thong, lord knows she’ll do you wrong lyrics
– sentimental jannie lyrics
– you look pretty in a tree poem
– yard decorations with bowling balls
There are more of these weird searches in Funny SEO 1, Funny SEO 2, and Funny SEO 3.
On 5 August 2009 at 8:54 am Tammy said,
Did I make it?
On 5 August 2009 at 9:28 am wade said,
The dog eating the porpourri was mine. For some reason I thought that you had also had that problem. Sorry.
On 5 August 2009 at 10:35 am Tammy said,
Hey Jannie
I read your blog earlier, i just got interrupted writing a comment. I was first though, that is what counts. I think the fact that I have been the first person to comment 3x now proves that I am on line a little too much. So, there I can’t harass you about being on line all the time can I?
Summer school is out! Yippee! 3 weeks break and it is back to the grind stone.
I love your silly blogs. I see your little footnote up there…….better lay off the beer sister, or at least be generous and share some with blue bunny. Blue’s next stop will be rehab.
On 5 August 2009 at 10:59 am Lynn said,
So these are truly funny things you couldn’t make up! And I’ll bet Shirley Temple did crazy things.
On 5 August 2009 at 11:21 am J.D. Meier said,
Lawn gnomes are out … bowling balls are in!
If poltergeists can take things, that just doesn’t seem fair.
On 5 August 2009 at 12:46 pm Heather Kephart said,
I live for these. Please don’t ever stop posting them. Big ass Kim pictures? LOL!
On 5 August 2009 at 1:16 pm Positively Present said,
Haha, that’s great! I love that you posted them for us to read. It’s so interesting how people search for something and come across something totally different (or oddly linked). Thanks for sharing these!
On 5 August 2009 at 2:21 pm K said,
I love the funny search terms.
Who is looking for this stuff?
On 5 August 2009 at 2:25 pm Vered - Blogger for Hire said,
big ass kim pictures???
On 5 August 2009 at 4:30 pm Mark said,
These are always interesting and often times funny. I had one that was searching for “Naked Oprah”, ha, I am sure that person was disappointed to find no naked people at all on my site.
On 5 August 2009 at 8:06 pm Ching Ya said,
Who is Kim anyway? LoL.. ’she’ will be famous after this. Poltergeist?? Oh my goodness, there are bra(s) even. The most appropriate ones are the poem/lyrics search. Well, they’ll definitely find some gems here.:D
Reminding me to check mine, but I doubt it’ll be this interesting though.
@wchingya
Social/Blogging Tracker
On 5 August 2009 at 8:20 pm Lance said,
This one is so true:
“funny things you couldn’t make up”
- Jannie is crazy funny
- Jannie’s daughter is an acorn from her mother’s tree
- Jannie makes me laugh
- Jannie has a thing for garage sales and socks
- …and hot dogs with wine
And my own search term, from my built-in search engine (I think maybe it’s called a brain…) that’s not on your list:
“awesomefabulousamazingcoolcaringgoofyandmaybejustabiteccentriclovelysweetandkindfunnysillylittlewackyalwaysalwaysamazing”
And that one…that’s you the world over!
On 5 August 2009 at 10:09 pm Jannie said,
Hey, Jannie back from the lake, a perfect day under tall trees with kids and dogs. Boats going by. Popcorn. Green grapes. Ice water.
Yes, Tammy you did indeed make it! I have read very interesting articles over at ProBlogger today on blog commenting which I will be linking in a future post I’m cooking up about what I’ve learned about blogging so far. He has very compelling info to share about being first or near first commenter a lot of the time. Oh, and happy summer break!
Wade: I hope your dog is okay? I did have that problem a few years ago. The shih-tzu was wild for cinnamon pumpkin flavor for a while. The puke was like none other I’d seen.
Lynn: I’m glad you liked them!! I actually had 254 different searches last month. Still getting a lot for pansy poems, so I may bust out some Pulitzer prize quality ones of those.
J.D. I think those garden gnomes are too busy running ‘
rounnd the world with Travelocity to grace lawns much more.
Heather: Another new gravatar! Cool. Heather, I tell you what, I promise to post these monthly if you promise to keep being my blogging bud, m-kay?
Positively Present: I’m not sure is this will actually be a good thing for me in the long run, getting all those bounces when people land here. But for entertainment I hope they work a bit.
K: I said this before and I totally think it’s drunk frat guys coming up with nutty ideas.
Vered: I Googled and Kim Kardashian and her alluring posterior, J-Lo curvaceous, might be the intended Kim.
Mark: Naked Oprah. Veddy veddy interesting. The Naked Soul, blog. I would think you get a lot of nakeds for searches.
Ching Ya: Yes, I think maybe the lovely Kim Kardashian could be the Kim, and I know why it was searched here but to protect an innocent bystander will say no more. And of course, since I’m a bra-flinger, I get lots of bra searches.
Thank you, Lance, I don’t have to tell you, but I will — you and I seem to have a mutual admiration society going. And maybe someday I shall be worthy of your adoration.
On 5 August 2009 at 10:24 pm Trey - Swollen Thumb Entertainment said,
I always knew that my quest for finding out the truth of whether or not there was cinnamon in miracle whip would end here. I know you have the information, Jannie, so don’t hold out on me! Or else I might be forced to perform a hanging wedgie!
On 5 August 2009 at 10:29 pm Jewel/Pink Ink said,
HA HA HA HA!
Too bad I didn’t see this when we were trying to come up with a band name
Twinkle Dentist would have been great.
Also Girdle Boys.
On 5 August 2009 at 10:54 pm Jim Gaudet said,
This is a good idea, I am not sure I can put some of my funny searches on a list like this..
On 5 August 2009 at 11:00 pm Jannie said,
Trey, you just made me laugh out loud with my eyes all twinkling and such. Tho I am sworn to secrecy on the cinnamon secret, I can say that if you want to do the hanging wedgie and video it, I’ll feature it front and center here in a post.
Jewel: How about YOU taking one of those names for your band, even if it’s your next band. Maybe the Hanging Wedgies?
Jim: I’ve only just recently stated reading your blog, so am not totally familiar with your range of topics, so will have to learn as I go about what searches you might post. I do like your current post that’s up, I really want to get back to see the last 60 minutes of the film. Loving it!
On 5 August 2009 at 11:05 pm TheWeyrd1 said,
I really should check my stats program for this…I saw that someone visited from googling something. I just don’t recall what it was…probably looking for weyrd stuff again…heh.
On 6 August 2009 at 12:06 am Mike Foster said,
These are really funny. And my wife would flip over all the bowling paraphernalia.
peace,
mike
livelife365
On 6 August 2009 at 12:32 am Lane Savant said,
Captain Beefheart
One of my favorite otherworlders. Found this googling “Laser beans”
On 6 August 2009 at 7:41 am Kathy | Virtual Impax said,
How did I miss the blog post on bra connection wedgie pics?
On 6 August 2009 at 8:16 am Caity said,
Hahaha that’s fantastic. I love the bowling ball decorations.
On 6 August 2009 at 8:54 am Glenn Buttkus said,
Yup, the most fun in this country is a day hanging out in Funsterville, the capital of Funsterland, wearing our Funster button, playing with our Funster wedgie, flinging our fun bra. It used to be popular to say, if one was attracted to something or someone, “I have a jones for ______.” Now I just say,” I have a jannie for several _____”
1. One has to turn up the hearing aid in order to really appreciate Jannie warbling, Jim talking, and Kelly cooing on I NEED A MAN.
2. That must be a man girdle, and the hairbrush would be a bit uncomfortable. Most guys just use a pair of socks to create a cute cod piece.
3. Most of my brabuddys have been of the female persuasion—but there was that one time….
4. #44 always shows up just after #43. It was also the year I was born, and my boot camp company number, and probably the number this comment will be.
5. I usually put lemon in the Miracle Whip, and then add white onion, garlic dill pickles, and albacore tuna.
6. I wonder if a hanging wedgie is anything like the infamous Chinese twirling basket trick?
7. I use the freckles tush line all the time, kind of like, your nose is running and you think it’s funny, but it’s snot.
8. I believe in giving thank you poems to everyone of any consequence in my life. The rest get screw you poems.
9. Sugar Lady might have the big butt, but you should see her do the twist.
10. I prefer milking goat songs, and milking llama songs too.
11. My wife calls that the bra pocket, and sometimes when her blouse and britches have no pockets, she puts her keys, ID, and lip gloss in there too.
12. Actually, THE ADVENTURES OF GIRDLE BOY, is a Japanese Anime of some repute in the East; far, near, or middle.
13. Big Ass Kim was my cousin. I say was cuz she got self-conscious and had some tush work done, and now she is Tight Ass Kim.
14. Actually that is one of the monikers we all missed in Jannie’s contest for headers, THE BRA CONNECTION WEDGIE PICS should be at the top of the list!
15. The DOO DOO DINER is a greasy spoon in Archer City, Texas, not far from Larry McMurtry’s book store.
16. This blog site is rife with “funny things you couldn’t make up.” It’s what we live for, we Funsters.
17. the Debbie Shore Legs line of rubber boots had to be abandoned because they were all left footed; some problem at the manufacturer.
18. One has to be pretty hard up, or drunk, to get too involved in “feeling a sofa”. I prefer feeling a recliner.
19. That golden metal bra pic you sported last year on this site looked like it came with its own welder.
20. Yes, for God’s sake, polergeists take things all the time, returning them in different spots, just to devil us. I am still looking for my extra truck key.
21. the Spiritual Lift Bra is just coming out from Victoria’s Secret, and Jannie has been chosen to be the national spokesflinger.
22. Jannie wears her fishing waders while gardening, while jogging, and at the mall. It has created quite the stir in Austin.
23. The LARGE LADY videos have been rated XXX, and by Golly, they should be sent out to our congressman immediatley.
24. My dog ate balloons, grapes, candles, rocks, and most of my fingernail clippings. If she wasn’t dead, she would still be doing such things.
25. I have created several PAIN IN THE BUTT COWORKER poems, and they are in the LOST LOVE files.
26. A man bra is not something a hairdresser should belittle, or the perm will get frizzy. This is serious lingerie and it will brook no insult or disrespect.
27. I agree, TWINKLE DENTIST was the back up band for Boy George, then moved on to Tiny Tim.
28. SATAN IN A THONG, LORD KNOWS SHE’LL DO YOU WRONG is already a Taj Mahal blues classic. Check it out.
29. Jannie is the most sentimental chick we know; especially after six beers, four chocolates, and a half dozen donuts. How does she stay so thin?
30. Yes, Kelly, you did look pretty in a tree, prettier than a flea, and oh gee, that does tickle me.
31. Some gorilla glue, super glue, and baling wire, and one can do wonders with old bowling balls in the yard, garden, or tree house. Share this with Jim.
Guess that’s all for this fine Thursday.
Glenn
On 6 August 2009 at 9:12 am Jannie said,
Hey Weyrd1: You set up with Google Analytics? These do entertain me so (obviously.)
Hi Mike Foster. I had NO idea about bowling ball yard art until I got that search and upon Googling I found it’s quite the rage. Does your wife decorate your yard like that? Or maybe she’s an avid bowler?
Lane Savant: Lasers beans! I eats them every day, wonderful side effect that my skin exoliates like a dream. And my eyesight’s mysteriously better bionic.
Kathy: I slipped that post in but offended some so I deleted it pronto, but you know how it goes — once you hit that publish, it’s out there forever.
Caity: Yo. Those bowling ball decorations are really really cool I think, very creative with the flower petals from the pins.
On 6 August 2009 at 9:24 am Talon said,
Okay, I’m still shaking my head. “girdle boy pics”??? And I’m thinking the “big ass Kim” is someone searching for Kim Kardashian shots as she has that rather famous posterior.
I’m thinking the old search engines lead people on a very winding road and how lucky they are to arrive in Funsterland where bra flinging is a fact!
On 6 August 2009 at 10:07 am sheila said,
WEIRD!
And who googles is there cinnamon in miracle whip? How odd.
On 6 August 2009 at 12:06 pm Cath Lawson said,
LOL Jannie – I thought I got the fruitloops on my blog but you definitely get the dime bars.
The person looking for a poem about feeling a sofa is a real weirdo – i think I may have gone to school with him.
On 6 August 2009 at 12:33 pm Dot said,
Those are funny! The worries that people have….
Tried to navigate to yesterday’s post to see your reply, and found I couldn’t. So I did a search, but got the search terms wrong. So I tried the category “Family,” but didn’t see it. Finally it dawned on me, it had to be under Kelp Knitting, and so it was. Then when I went back to your home page, I saw that it was right beneath today’s post. Sheesh, I should have looked.
As for my two cents, your reply makes sense to me.
On 6 August 2009 at 2:14 pm Aimee said,
Gotta have a good song while milking the cow, maybe one like this little ditty sung to the tune of Wheels On The Bus: “the teats on the cow go up and down, up and down…” Some of those are just too dang funny!
On 6 August 2009 at 2:25 pm Jannie said,
Wow, that’s a cool long comment from Glenn. I’ll be back to answer later, you guys! Going out again to the Wilds of Real Life, maybe even to the taco shack — something exotic.
Going now as I sing “the teats on the cow go up and down, up and down, up and down….. all through the barn.
On 6 August 2009 at 4:53 pm Evita said,
LOL Jannie these are hilarious. I don’t really look to see what people type in to get to my sites, but I doubt it would be as good as your list, LOL I can’t stop laughing thinking of what some of them are really looking for on the net
On 6 August 2009 at 4:53 pm Sara said,
Jannie,
What would we do without your lists! This one is really, really funny. There are too many funny search phrases in this list to even try to tell you my favorites. So, I’m just gonna hit the ALL button:~) Thanks for late afternoon laugh!
On 6 August 2009 at 7:34 pm Glenn Buttkus said,
blue bunny: still very sceered.
kelly: why this time blue fuzz pot?
blue bunny: jannie ghos tako shakk and eets tako; sum for yu two.
kelly: what’s bad bout that? Maybe bunny eats too many beer-soaked carrots!
blue bunny: sad time in Tecksus, two hott for chikkens, and so even cows run two, even pigs hide.
kelly: what’s that got to do with tacos?
blue bunny: red in Ossten paper thatt now Tako Shakks use rabbitt meet for the subtute. Blue bunny taysts besstest of all rabbitt so they say.
kelly: Silly rabbit, no one sells bunny burgers or bunny burritos.
blue bunny: dew too, jest putt lots hot sauzz in der and cannnet tell it is buhnie.
kelly: maybe you should eat Chinese for this month, and stay away from Mexican. Thanks for tip on hot sause!
TO BE CONTINUED
On 6 August 2009 at 10:52 pm Thomma Lyn said,
They’re all funny, but I especially cracked up at “how to lift your spirits with the right bra.” Didn’t think it was spirits bras aimed to lift!
xxx ooo
On 6 August 2009 at 11:05 pm Davina said,
Outrageous! I still only get searches for “naughty quotes”. How Boring! What’s a twinkle dentist? I Googled it and… well… you know what happened.
On 6 August 2009 at 11:32 pm SnaggleTooth said,
Maybe someone is listening to your songs while milking cows….
Do twinkle dentists shine?
I wonder which of your poems they used to thank the bus driver…
You’d look pretty ouyt of a trtee too!
Wow- this is great! How do idiots come up with this stuff? Thanks for the laughs- I really need them!
On 6 August 2009 at 11:33 pm SnaggleTooth said,
oy- out of a tree!
On 7 August 2009 at 1:02 am Jannie said,
Glenn, you may be trying to pump or plump up my ego and I’m afraid it’s not going to work. Screw you poems? I sing I’ve been milking my old llama to the tune of I’ve been working on the railroad, pretty-much daily. Big ass Kim was your cousin!!! National spokesflinger! Okay, I’m acually gonna check out that Taj Mahal thing, just to seeif you’re pulling my finger, er leg.
Talon: girdle boy, yeah, this is a real interesting world. Want’ it the name of a movie once? Do you want ato see my bra-flinging video? I think i’ts about time I did one.
Sheila: I’ve always perferred my Miracle Whip with tons of cloves, garlic, curds and whey.
Cath: Many people, as now come out in a California study are falling in love with sofas, they figure they are easier and cheaper to date. And fling less lip.
Dot: Yes, my category filing system has gotten unwiedly, not sure what to do with it so people can find stuff easier — use tags maybe. When in doubt, look in Kelp Knitting. Your comment actually had me rethinking my parenting all yesterday. I’ll start acting more mature, as I perhaps should.
Aimee: You see above?? You see how you had me all singing about cow teats and stuff. And now, to the tune of I’ve Been Working On The Railroad… I’ve been milking on my guernsey all the live-long day.
Evita: What IS it about me that beings these very strange searches? I know I’m a bit weird but THAT weird??
They are good for a laugh when I first come upon them in the list.
Sara: Without these lists I do believe you sould just eihter shrivel up and waste away or head back to Switerland to slowly die of milk chocolate inhalations? So glad you liked them! More each month, for as long as people keep being weird.
Glenn: What are you doing back AT NIGHT?? Well, I guess it was 5:34 your time, right? Quitting time. And blue bunn yhas a word he wants to relay… Deere Gleeen, i taking offence to thots i mite get eated in a takkoe. why effreybuttie alwaes tryinge to eats me up?
Thomma Lyn: A study just out of California, yes the same one about falling in love with sofas, seems to suggest that the proper new over the shoulder boulder holder can indeed boost one’s overall life satisfaction by up to 14%. Now that was just the males polled — the women sported up to 78% life satisfaction. And the bird dog bra was most popular — for making pointers out of setters.
Davina: strangely enough, I myself Googled Twinkle Dentist yesterday, as I was thinking of maybe lifting one of their photos for this post and I actually got some tooth care place in Albuquerque, specializing in crooked upper denture correction.
Snag, my Snag, last comment I shall see tonight before I lay my weary wary eyes down… sounds like you could use a laff after the mold and lack of sleep and being so dutiful on your job adn never calling in sick and having to move all your stuff to where teh piano is too big for — I wish I had 1.000,000 or these wacky phrases for you.
good night, john-boy. Now a john boy would tha tbe teh guy in teh bathroom in a fancy restaurant handing you the hand towels. And what the freak’s up with that, anyway??
i am too tired to correct typos, sorry.
On 7 August 2009 at 6:36 am Ribbon said,
Busted!
On 7 August 2009 at 7:31 pm joaquin said,
holy mother of pedal steel!
if “she had freckles on her but she was nice” isn’t a song title, i don’t know what is. if you don’t write it, i’m gonna.
On 8 August 2009 at 10:22 pm MiaHysteria said,
Too funny. But then again…that’s exactly why they got to you!
On 9 August 2009 at 4:57 am Jannie said,
Ribbon: You naughty, naughty girl! Well, all I can add is keep these coming, will ya!!
Joaquin: Holy father of flying dobros — I know! She had freckles but she was nice. She had a few zits but she didn’t have lice.
Mia: Funny is as funny does, the freaks come out and cause a buzz. I have no idea – but it does rhyme.
On 9 August 2009 at 7:00 am Natural said,
now this is funny:
– satan in a thong, lord knows she’ll do you wrong lyrics
i love reading other people’s weird search words that people use to find their blog. nope. i still didn’t figure it out. just as well though.
On 9 August 2009 at 9:52 am Jannie said,
Natural: I’m back, having sleeped 3 more hours. Satan in a thong. I used to wear thong undies – they are satanic in their wedgiefulness.
On 9 August 2009 at 7:08 pm Morgan said,
Haha, these are hilarious!
When I read these things I always wonder what other sites they found and if they managed to find what they were actually looking for…
“sugar lady is too fat for me”
-M.
On 9 August 2009 at 8:06 pm Jannie said,
Hi Morgan! I can’t wait to see what I’ll find in my analytics at the end of August, I just couldn’t make these things up, I swear! I have a song “Sugar Lady,” so that’s obviously how that one came about… but the too fat for me part?? I’m actually down to about 120 lbs now, lost 5 lbs!
On 19 August 2009 at 8:03 am Betty said,
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don’t know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.
Betty
http://dogfurniture.info