The Unbreakable Child: Book Review
Friends | Posted by Jannie on 18 September 2009 @ 7:57 AM 40 Comments
photo by Jannie Funster: 9-17-09
If I were brave I’d tell you something deeply secret about me. But I’m a total wimp, so let’s get on with a book review, shall we – a book by someone who actually IS brave in a real way, Kimmi Rich.
I liked Kimmi’s writing style so much over at her Writer In Waiting blog that I ordered her The Unbreakable Child, recently released on Kunati’s “Provocative, Bold, Controversial” label — a book the September issue of Writer’s Digest Magazine cites as “a wonderful model of how to craft a hopeful ending,” an assessment I second, third and fourth!
It was far from an easy book to read, but you can bet it was ten thousand times harder to write. From the second paragraph her story broke my heart with accounts of unspeakable abuses and neglect that she, her three sisters and countless other children suffered at the hands of Catholic nuns and a priest at an orphanage near Louisville, Kentucky in the 1960s. Kimmi entered their so-called sisterly “care” when she was three and finally escaped their clutches nine years later.
“Look out, Kid. They keep it all hid.” — Bob Dylan
Unspeakable. Yet she spoke. Spoke up for justice and for the ones who could not speak — the class action lawsuit she initiated the first in the United States to result in a monetary settlement from a Roman Catholic order of nuns, 45 victims in all.
It was Kimmi’s spirit and beautiful writing that kept me reading. Her sheer will and resilience in the face of horrors. Yes, even with humor sometimes. Unbreakable spirit. Her joy at simple blessings such as the gift of a bracelet from a kind soul — her one possession in nine years, a bracelet she managed to keep hidden from the nuns and still wears to this day. Small triumphs such as the honor of having a piece of her school artwork displayed for a few hours before a nun destroyed it. A possible once-yearly day trip somewhere. Getting to feed a dog, albeit not the friendliest dog in the world, while it’s alcoholic nun owner went to “dry out.”
Kimmi is the unbreakable child who finally ended up with the forever family she longed for and deserved — her loving husband and children. She volunteers for Habitat For Humanity and at a homeless shelter. She helps kids learn to read and write. She signs hundreds of copies of The Unbreakable Child at her book signings. She listens to “Swinging On a Star” on her iPod.
Why do some people rise above childhood atrocities to lead wonderful productive lives and bring their own children up not only without abuse, but allow them to flourish, while others who’ve faced the same abuses crash and burn? Spirit? Courage? Luck? Love? Forgiveness?
The Unbreakable Child is available at Amazon.com, Joseph-Beth Booksellers, Books A Million, Barnes & Nobles, Borders and others.
(Still can’t believe Kimmi asked me to review it! Humbled she would consider me for the honor. Thank you Kimmi. Thank you for everything.)
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if you liked this review, I highly recommend two of my other blogging buddies’ books I believe in very much too, “Mirror Blue” here and of “Flying By The Seat Of My Soul” here. Thanks!
On 18 September 2009 at 8:20 am Lynn said,
A good, thought provoking review about a brave young woman, Jannie. And that is a cute kid there with her ipod.
On 18 September 2009 at 8:28 am Glenn Buttkus said,
We are “big proude” of Miss Funster blue bunny. Thanks for including your latest review. Again, though I do not read as much as some, mostly poetry and critiques of same, and film reviews (reading and writing them), still my wife, Melva, reads constantly, and I will add this book to her list of gotta reads. You do pose a very important question though regarding how we turn out as adults regardless of our childhoods. Some rich and priviledged kids turn out to be selfish scoundrals, but not all of them. Has Kelly read this book, or is it a bit too advanced for her reading skills? Did she have some questions about it? I am a bit of an old Gnostic, so I think we come into this plane of existance with shreds and shards of our older personalities, and this is more a determinant of how we turn out, what kind of person we develop into, than our circumstances, tragic or otherwise. I see so many of my nephews and neices lost in the techno scene, the drug scene, the rap scene, constantly stimulated to the point where if they have to do without it for ten minutes they become bored and restless and depressed–and it makes me wonder what kind of people will be running the world during my golden years.
Glenn
On 18 September 2009 at 9:07 am Jannie said,
Lynn: It is a good thing they were out of iPods when I checked last week. She was disappointed there were none available for her birthday but the new generation nano we got 2 days ago is simply amazing! It takes and shows videos too. I bought her the 8-gig one, but there is a 16 gig one available. She can actually upload 4 full-length movies to hers. Or 2000 songs. And I love that she is listening to music and creating her own videos. She always wanted her own video camera.
Glenn: Your comment is very interesting to me — the kind of kids you describe ruling the world in the future is indeed a bit depressing. But, there are many great kids coming up too. That’s why it’s so important for parents to limit computer and t.v. time! I would suggest Melva try Amazon.com for Kimmi’s book. Well, yes, Kelly could read this – she is a very fluent reader, and she may sometime but not until she is older, as it does deal with sensitive topics. I had some great pix of the book I took on the beach in Canada but I accidentally erased them, but yesterday early evening when I was skimming through the book again at the outdoor cafe (where they tried to serve us moldy cake!)
and I saw my wine glass and Kelly, I thought “That might make a cool shot if I set the book just so.” I think it did. Was very very interested in your take on personalities and past lives. I think you could totally be right with that. Born with our personalities indeed. Thanks for your astute input, as usual.
On 18 September 2009 at 9:20 am Betsy Wuebker said,
Hi Jannie – It sounds like the greatest lifting up from unspeakable heartbreak. Why, why, why did it ever have to happen? And I don’t know what resides within certain individuals who manage to triumph over circumstances such as these, but I’m grateful they do and share their stories. Thank you.
On 18 September 2009 at 9:28 am Jewel/Pink Ink said,
I’ve heard of her book. How do people soar through such atrocities? – Definitely a tribute to the strength and unquenchable beauty of the human spirit.
Have a great weekend, Jannie! Keep on strumming your awesome life-song.
On 18 September 2009 at 10:15 am Lynn said,
Oops – I don’t know much about the Nano, but cool that she is enjoying making videos! So creative.
Hey Blue Bunny – sending you and your Jannie xoxoxo
On 18 September 2009 at 10:56 am Paige said,
You sure can write a good review.
But on to silliness…surely that is NOT little Kelly drinking wine.
On 18 September 2009 at 11:06 am Talon said,
Wonderful review, Jannie. To triumph through unspeakable tragedy is beyond amazing. And though I love a happy ending, I hate that some have to have unbearably sad beginnings.
On 18 September 2009 at 11:16 am Nadia - Happy Lotus said,
Hi Jannie,
That is a great review and thank you for sharing it with all of us. What a journey Kimmi has been on and I am happy that she was able to overcome it.
I, too, have noticed that sometimes people who have crappy childhoods do manage to rise above the pain and not be paralyzed by it. One of my childhood friends had a dream like childhood (in comparison to mine) and when she in college, she hit her first major problem and it totally devastated her.
When I ran into her years later, she was still paralyzed by her pain. In the scheme of life, her pain was not traumatic but it was to her. It made me realize that each person handles their suffering based on what they know and believe.
On 18 September 2009 at 11:21 am sheila said,
I think I’ve actually heard of this book…maybe from my mom, I’m not sure. But it does sound REEEEALLY good. Great review. And great set up in your pic, lol
On 18 September 2009 at 1:22 pm Mama Zen said,
This book sounds amazing. I’ll definitely check it out, Jannie!
Now, I have Subterranean Homesick Blues stuck in my head.
On 18 September 2009 at 1:38 pm Caity said,
Oh my goodness, that sounds like an amazing story. I have never heard of it before but it sounds like a really fantastic book.
On 18 September 2009 at 3:04 pm Jannie said,
Betsy: It would’ve been easy for me to slip too far into the horrors part of the book and dwell on them, but those are all over now for Kimmi and there is only the light that has been shone in the darkest places. Yes, why did it ever have to happen? Ignorant people who could not see the light for the darkness in themselves, I guess. And Kimmi’s story has helped so many face their own heartaches and move forward.
Jewel: Yes, the book is gaining quite a lot of national recognition. It would not surprise me if some one made a movie out of it. Kimmi is one amazing woman, don’t think she did not falter and second-guess herself many many times along the way as to whether it was worth not only dredging up the past tragedies but bringing them to light and be made feel she is the criminal. Oh, and you last line brought a rush of sunshine to my heart — thank you! I am working on my new songs, yes! Excited.
Lynn: It’s the first iPod we have ever had in our immediate family and it so rocks. She LOVES it. I will probably post a review. Do you have an iPod? And blue bunny takes your kind words deeply in to his (or her,) heart of hearts. Thank you.
Thank you Paige, I spent a lot of time on this, as it was a task I did not want to let Kimmi down on. I’m happy with it. Oh no, that wine was all MINE — I do not share my pinot noir with ANYONE — not even my own mother.
Plus, I only allow Kelly to drink beer! Now who’s being silly????? 
Talon: Thank you so much. As you know, I was hoping I would do a good enough job on this. Phew… Slid another one by. I almost did not read past those first pages as I sat in the bookstore, but I knew if Kimmi and those other sweet innocents had to go through that, the least I could do was read it. Glad I did. The book has helped many people.
Thank you, Dear Nadia: I, like you, had some bumps in my childhood but look at me now! And look at you. Spreading all this bloggity love. Do you think, as Glenn points out above, it has to do with personality, added to what you say about what people know and believe? I really really wonder.
Sheila: Yes, The Unbreakable Child is becoming quite well known. I only hope Kimmi will come to Austin! That would be cool. I’d show up in some weird disguise at the book signing, then pop up and take off my Groucho Marx nose and say “Jannie Funster here!”
Mama Z: Johnny’s in the basement
Mixing up the medicine
I’m on the pavement
Thinking about the government
The man in the trench coat
Badge out, laid off
Says hes got a bad cough
Wants to get it paid off
Look out kid
Its somethin’ you did
God knows when
But you’re doin’ it again…
etc.
Okay okay, let’s change your mind now to anything on “Blood On The Tracks.” No, too sad, sorry. How about some K.C. & The Sunshine Band… Do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight!
Yeah, much better than buckets of rain, buckets of tears, got all them buckets comin’ outta my ears… Bucket of moon beams in my hands…..
Caity! It is a tale that will haunt you. A tale of “the fighting spirit that resides in all of us.” “An act of courage.” “A rally cry to hold figures of authority accountable.”
Well, look at me, all caught up with my comments — did you ever see you’d see the day? Might even go and have a shower today, whoo-hoo.
On 18 September 2009 at 3:36 pm Patricia said,
Nice job and good information sharing. I think some folks survive and then thrive in these circumstances just so that they can teach the rest of us a thing or two about respect and responsibilty. It is hard to get folks to read the books and learn these days.
Then there are those wonderful kids who are already so evolved like the Canadian young man who has built 10 or 12 schools in Africa already and the 12 year old in Kansas who is shooting baskets for books, paper and pencils for kids in Africa.
I guess we need diversity, but not torture and abuse….So many interesting stories
Thank you for introducing us to Kimmi’s book and your good thoughts
On 18 September 2009 at 3:49 pm kimmi said,
Thank you kindly, Jannie for your awesome review and to your posters for their kind words!
On 18 September 2009 at 4:14 pm Jannie said,
Patricia: Beautiful thoughts, as always, thank you. There are so many more humbling acts of kindness in this world than not. Goodness resonates and begins within each of us, as you well know. You are one of the best people I know and living proof of making positive differences wherever you shine your bright bright light.
Kimmi — our star lady of the hour — not that you ever planned to be in the limelight, your courage brought you forth to teach and inspire. Yes, my peeps, “my posters” (yes, mine, all mine.)
are “poster” children for great things, never failing to humble me with their willingness to share, uplift and heal. We are all on our separate journeys but all so alike in our needs and desires.
On 19 September 2009 at 1:59 am SnaggleTooth said,
I believe that the more difficult your childhood, the stronger adults we are- full of resolve to learn from our experiences.
Great review. Sounds like I might have some bad memories resurface reading it, due to having atteneded Catholic school for 12 years. Nuns are control freaks n cruel sometimes- tho I’ve met a few sweet ones, they were never teachers long- push-overs aren’t as effective as the tough! Religion tends to be full of childhood hardcore discipline, unfortunately-
Still, you make me want to read the book-
On 19 September 2009 at 6:01 am Lynn said,
I DO have an iPod. My friend Steven gave me one as a present a couple of years ago for looking in on his cats while he travels. It is the one they call the “shuffle” – not sure if they make that one anymore.
On 19 September 2009 at 6:36 am Lance said,
Jannie,
Some things are so much harder to hear about than others. Crimes committed against children, I find to be one of those. Especially to figures we supposedly look up to. A story that is so worth being told.
Kimmi, you are brave. Your story will bring comfort to many, and it’s an honor for me to read this today – and become acquainted with you. Keep being brave, always…
On 19 September 2009 at 7:10 am robbi said,
Jannie, Quite profound that I logged in to read this post as we here in Australia have had something very similar. Not a book per se but in a country of just on 21million (now) there are an estimated 500,000(500k) cases of abuse and neglect under the same situations as Kim writes on. I wrote on the same subject myself many years ago as a paper at University but only now are these problems being addressed.After the second world war there were many children sent here from the UK as child migrants and some 4 thousand got sent over the years from 1948 and up to the early 1970’s to a place run by the Christian brothers in Western Australia where they were treated as slaves and forced to build a monastery complete with church buildings.That was just one of the more horrible cases. Just this week several Governments(state) in Australia have been holding memorial ceremonies for these and others like them. Nothing that any Government can do or say will do anything to address the wrongs that these poor children suffered. That on many occasions crimes like this were committed by members of the Church(several denominations) is deplorable and there can be no justifacation for any acts against persons of any age not able to defend or understand what is happening.
On 19 September 2009 at 7:52 am Miladysa said,
Excellent review Jannie! Well done.
My own mother had a smiliar experience.
On 19 September 2009 at 8:16 am Jannie said,
Snag: It is good to learn from mistakes, I know I’m much more conscious of certain aspects of Kelly’s upbringing, differently than how I was raised — I think consciousness is the key, the key to so many things. We cannot change what we don’t realize needs changing. Hearing you speak about the nice nun teachers who didn’t last long made me suddenly remember when I was a teacher in one district the superintendent (very small school district,) a nun, was very very much into control — not at all about listening to idea exchanges. She was a Kommandante, plain and simple. Yikes. Were yours the kinds of schools you boarded at, or day schools?
Lynn: Yes, the cute little Shuffle! There is a brand-new generation of that out now too, even smaller — very “lose-able” is the term I’d give it.
What color is your Shuffle? And I listened to Kelly’s nano last night, MP3s on that sure are degraded from the old analog tapes of the Sony Walkman — gee, remember the Walkman, the first one, for cassettes? All this makes me wonder if we are heading towards generations whose ears will not be able to realize what I’ll call “whole” music, in sound quality. You lose so much in lossy formats, and compression does not let us hear much dynamics. love my recording guy tho, he’s real old school and you can hear the difference! But I digress…. 
Lance: Isn’t she brave, yes? There were times when she could not go on, yes, or felt she could not, to tell her story and stand up against the abuses. Crimes against children yes, and I have read Robbi’s comment below, those are the worst. And they go on all the time. I just want to rush in and scoop them all up to safety. Jim and I have actually talked some lately about adopting from a U.S.orphanage but have not taken any actual steps to inquire about it, I’m not sure if our “advanced” ages would be a general inhibitor, or not.
Robbi: God, that’s 1 in 40 kids living in terrible circumstances in Australia. Those figures must be mistakenly high. I just wish people would do the right thing with children, you know — uphold and protect. None of us is perfect of course and we all mess up but when you do you realize your mistakes, admit it, apologize and go on to not repeat them. But with abusers living in isolated bubbles, keeping it all hid — whether institutionally or within family patterns, we need to be vigilant on the outside to watch for signs of abuse and neglect. And report it.
Hey Miladysa, you slipped in there as I was writing this, so I’ll slip back in here to this comment to include you in this batch too. That’s so sad about your mother. Again, I owe it to the “bubble” abusers isolate themselves in, based on my personal experience. I’m sure your mother went on to be a fine strong woman to raise you so well. I am wondering if you’ve heard of Kimmi’s book in the UK, I imagine it will make its way there, as it’s an important story. There is quite a lot of awareness for it over here. Thank you for your visit — always great to “see” you.
On 19 September 2009 at 9:41 am Natural said,
that was a great review, the book sounds like a nice read. of course, it also sounds like something that would make me cry a fistful of tears and i would have to take advil just to finish it.
Why do some people rise above childhood atrocities to lead wonderful productive lives..
great question as well. they seem to do better in life than people who have everything seemingly going for them or handed to them on a platter. i guess they get used to fighting for what is rightfully theirs.
On 19 September 2009 at 2:50 pm Lynn said,
It is a white shuffle. Much better for walks that when I used to listen to that little radio thing I had.
On 19 September 2009 at 3:39 pm Susan Helene Gottfried said,
Wow. I don’t think I could handle that.
On 19 September 2009 at 4:00 pm Yaya said,
Sounds interesting. I’m currently in the middle of reading about 10 books. Why do I do that to myself??
On 19 September 2009 at 4:52 pm Thomma Lyn said,
What a great review of Kimmi’s book! I second everything you said about it — it’s an outstanding read, heart-wrenching, and ultimately inspiring. Kimmi herself is such an inspiration, in her positive attitude, her strength and courage, and her will to overcome and forgive and triumph and love.
xoxoxo xoxoxo
On 20 September 2009 at 8:10 am Jannie said,
Natural: It is very astute what you say about people fighting for what is rightfully theirs. I think we are all born knowing what freedom is and isn’t. We all deserve the basic rights and it was shocking to read how these children were treated. But a story that needed to be told.
Lynn: Ahh, a white Shuffle- to go with every outfit!
Susan: Thank you for your honesty, I appreciate that. I didn’t think I could get through the book at times but Kimmi brought me back to saner spots just when I needed the release most. it’s a very well crafted book.
Yaya: I too have a list of wonderful books to read, and I owe them all to bloggers who have either gifted me with them or suggested great ones to read. I hope you get to finish some of yours!
Thomma Lyn: You know! You’ve read it. And you’ve hit it all on right the head here with your words! Thank you. xoxoxox xoxoxo
On 20 September 2009 at 9:21 am Lynn said,
“Ahh, a white Shuffle- to go with every outfit!” But not after Labor Day!:)
On 20 September 2009 at 9:41 am Jannie said,
ha, ha!! Guess you need to switch to a black one then!
And did you know it’s my one year blog anniversary on Tuesday?? yep – but I might not put up the post until the 23rd. What would be a good celebration post — any ideas??
On 20 September 2009 at 11:08 am Natasha said,
Inspirational!
And congratulations on completing one year.
On 20 September 2009 at 12:35 pm Diane AZ said,
Fascinating book review, this title is now on my “must read” list. Your question, “Why do some people rise above childhood atrocities” is so thought provoking, I’ll be mulling that over for a long time. When I look at siblings raised in the same environment who turn out so differently, it seems random. Forgiveness probably has something to do with it. But I wonder why some can forgive and others cannot.
On 21 September 2009 at 3:01 am J.D. Meier said,
Beautiful review and I like how you highlighted key points.
It’s a perfect reminder that it’s not what happens to you in life, but how your respond.
On 21 September 2009 at 10:16 am Dot said,
I also wonder why some survive and others don’t. Sometimes it’s not necessarily the abuser(s), but the quality of (or lack of) support in the environment — animals, relatives, people. Siblings may add to the problem or help one survive it. And as for forgiving, I think I’m living proof that you don’t have to forgive to overcome. Some things are unforgivable.
On 21 September 2009 at 1:07 pm Jannie said,
Natasha! Hi. So cool you could pop in and join the discussion. I really appreciate it, thanks. It is a very inspirational story, yes. And tho I did not share in an orphanage upbringing I understand her book has helped a lot of abused children deal and heal from their emotional / social wounds.
Diane AZ: It is a most thought-provoking point you bring up, yes how siblings react differently to the same basic upbringing. We all know brothers and sisters who turned out so dis-similar. I am beginning to think it is in the personality perhaps, the inner will.
J.D. Why, thank you kind sir for your lovely words here. And I just wrote your second point over my almost-healed fire ant bites in bright pink sharpie.
Dot: Your words make me recall how my dog Pepper-Lee was always there for me and such a comfort when I needed someone to cry to as a child. Trees were good friends too, but not quite as good as Pepper. If you are okay with not forgiving that can work. Things are still so raw for you. Lord knows you’ve had and still have enough to be sad and mad over. But eventually if you forgive in some or all ways, (and I’m most likely sticking my nose in where it is not wanted,) you might really feel much much better. I speak from my own life. I came to the idea of forgiving childhood traumas kicking, screaming — most angry and unwilling, but I surrendered eventually. And was significantly freed in doing so.
On 22 September 2009 at 2:23 pm Liara Covert said,
Kudos for you and taking the time to promote such a book. Many thankss for sharing the uplifting story.
On 24 September 2009 at 3:42 pm Jannie said,
Than YOU, so much, Liara. You share so much too and I am grateful for your teachings and spirit.
On 25 September 2009 at 9:30 am Rhett said,
Some grit! And I read a poem by her at her blog. She’s a gifted writer!
On 25 September 2009 at 9:38 am Rhett said,
And she’s so pretty – she looks like Meg Ryan.
On 25 September 2009 at 12:59 pm Jannie said,
Rhett: Yes, Kimmi is very beautiful. Outside and in!