Just Plain What The Heck? — Funny Keyword Searches, 5
Funny SEO keywords | Posted by Jannie on 20 September 2009 @ 8:12 AM 46 Comments
photo credit: Mid Life Slices
Friends, I started to categorize these into Butts, Bras, Typos, Miscellaneous and Just Plain WTH? but it seemed so many could be considered just plain WTH? so in random order I give you… phrases people typed last month to land themselves in Funstertown.
– body cast tickling
– blue things you might see at a lake
– I’m 54 and I can’t find a good bra
– naughty sprites
– hipwaders for short round people
– jannie whopper
– are fruity rolls bad for dogs
– women chocolate tussle
– singing donuts
– is it okay to run in sports bra with slightly flabby belly
– trio of french funsters
– poem about missing someone who has dyed
photo credit: How Stuff Works
– how to hold a ukulele breast
– barbie cotillion crochet bra
– neighbor shows chest wearing loose shirt and short shorts
– lurker in texas lost pines
– humorous poems plus square dancing
– “she’s a very cheeky girl” song
– chainsaw man voice
– tiny tim donuts ingredients
– high school boys and jock straps
– If things were my way I’d put a condom on your heart
– shirley temple girdle
– how to take care of hip weighters
– how to behave in a restaurant [NOT!] 
– retro fat butts pics
– retro hairdues
– what bra is good for sagging boobs
– fluffy fuzzy monster boots
– what is the name of song that goes whoo whoo whee whoo
– tilt of the kilt
– what does it mean if you have two voices in your head
– lolly pop cadence
– hell yes i’m crasy
– man girdle pictures
– bra connection wedgie videos
– who is the hootiest cutiest boy
– where to look for missing donuts
More of these strange searchword posts here…
Funny SEO 1
Funny SEO 2
Funny SEO 3
Funny SEO 4
![](http://www.janniefunster.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/11/BlogTalkRadio1.JPG")
On 20 September 2009 at 8:41 am Lynn said,
So I Googled – “hell yes i’m crasy” and your blog came up third! How funny – and that Blue Bunny – a bit of a snitch!
On 20 September 2009 at 10:04 am Natural said,
this confirms it. there are some crazzzzy people out there. i would never come up with the stuff let alone search it. i think i will go type in something crazy and see where it lands me. wouldn’t be nice if that blog or website were tracking, then they could have a post like this. man i really want to know how peeps find my blog.
On 20 September 2009 at 10:14 am Caity said,
Hahaha I love these Jannie!!
Always give me a giggle.
How do people THINK of these things?
On 20 September 2009 at 10:52 am Nadia - Happy Lotus said,
Goes to show you that many people have their own idea of what is important information. I personally loved the search for “singing donuts”. Maybe that can be another food chain that gives Dunkin Donuts a run for its money.
Hope all is awesome.
On 20 September 2009 at 11:03 am Meredith said,
Whoa. That’s a freaky list. I’m going to have to check out your other posts on the SEO words.
Seems Google may have more of a sense of humor than I thought… how did they connect up “hipwaders for short, round people” with your blog? So funny. I felt a bit sorry for “what does it mean if you have two voices in your head” — and if that person is reading this comment, I think it means you’re normal.
God, I hope it means you’re normal. I might have to go type that in on a search engine now…
On 20 September 2009 at 11:19 am Zeenat {Positive Provocations} said,
Oh Jannie,
}
I laughed so hard reading this list…its so freaky what people are looking for on the internet..and what they actually end up with….
My fav…-I’m 54 and I can’t find a good bra (I had no idea you provided such an important service on this blog
On 20 September 2009 at 11:31 am Davina said,
“Jannie whopper???” That made me chuckle. It never ceases to amaze me what people search for. It’s kinda scary sometimes to think they’re out there walking among us. One of them could be standing right next to you and you wouldn’t even know it
On 20 September 2009 at 11:51 am Jannie said,
Lynn: Hee, hee! I’m such a semi-somebody on the net when it comes to those crasy searches. And bras. And buttocks. Ahhh, I bask in this glory. How much bigger and better can my fame get??
Natural: Well, do you have Google Analytics? It’s pretty easy to install. Then under View Report, go to Traffic Sources, then Keywords. Easy as pie! I bet yours will have some pretty funny ones too if you search down through them with your funny site.
Caity: These searches remind me there is so much diversity out there among humans, all of us on our own paths through stardust.
Hey Nadia: You know how Romano’s Macaroni Grille has those opera singers for birthdays, maybe you’re onto something with a singing donut chain! Or even singing donut deliveries!
Meredith: I know exactly how the hip waders thing keeps coming up.. from this post… http://www.janniefunster.com/2009/02/23/trout-fishing-hip-waders/ I must get 20 hip waders searches a month in various forms. And if someone has two voices in their heads I say ONLY two??
Zeenat: I aim for bra sizing and advice here, yes! I recommend sports bras in one size smaller than one might normally wear for the “sagging” dilemma. I wonder what the next batch of these will contain? I try not to peek until the month is over and I sit here roaring when I read, my husband thinks I’ve gone nuts.
Davina: Jannie whopper – yes that intrigues me too. Hmmn. Maybe that Jannie DuPlessis guy, the South African rugby player, maybe he kicked a real whopper across a field once — that’s all I could come up with on that. And your last thought – so true — so eeerily true. They are among us. Maybe even living next door. Eeeek!!
On 20 September 2009 at 12:50 pm Rose said,
Jannie have you been showing off your chest again on your blog? Just joking! I need to do another one of these on my blog. lol
On 20 September 2009 at 12:51 pm Janie (not to be confused with Jannie) said,
Hey there, you. I followed the bread crumbs and this is where it brought me. You get as many crazy searches as I get. What a fun place you’ve got here. I use to be fun too but then life sort of wedged it’s big butt in the way of all my fun. Happy Trails, girlie…..
On 20 September 2009 at 2:04 pm CG Walters said,
Laughing is good for body and spirit. Thank you, Jannie.
blessings to you and your dear ones….
On 20 September 2009 at 2:40 pm Tammy said,
Jannie
I promise I am still alive. So so behind on blogs though. I am swamped lately. Imagine my shock when the first thing I see is a body cast. I am like………OMG what happened to Jannie? So I am assuming this is all part of your silliness. Missing you.
i hope that address fixes the problem.
T
On 20 September 2009 at 2:50 pm wade said,
Just so there is no question later. I am 56 and will be 57 in December. I have not been 54 in quite some time.
On 20 September 2009 at 4:51 pm suzen said,
Hi Jannie! Hysterical list! I did a blog on some of the searches that landed people on mine once too – isn’t it a hoot? Makes you really wonder what these people are REALLY wanting!???? or thinking???
On 20 September 2009 at 5:38 pm Cath Lawson said,
Now I feel cruel but I couldn’t stop myself from laughing at, “poem about missing someone who has dyed”.
On 20 September 2009 at 5:41 pm G said,
I’m jealous.
I don’t get those kind of search phrases with mine.
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
On 20 September 2009 at 6:59 pm Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord said,
Janine, the “are fruity rolls bad for dogs” one was me.” Oddly enough, I don’t even own a dog…
On 20 September 2009 at 8:04 pm Jannie said,
Rose: You know it – flaunting my famous chest over here! My treasure chest full of diamonds, rubies, emeralds and golden trinkets — I bought them all with my $100.15 in Google ad money earned over the last 10 months.
Janie: Ah, ha. Followed my breadcrumbs to crazy town, did you! You poor thing. Welcome! I saw your newest grandson over there, #13. Sah-weet little doll, he is!
CG: What a blessing to have your visit and for your kind comment. I love to laff and laff and laff, 24 /7. Got tons of crows feet but well earned each and every one.
Tammy: You are always in my heart. And of course I realize you are most likely swamped indeed. And you totally have that link back to your blog going on now with your comment. Whee-hoooooooo, Sistah!!
Wade: Were you born this funny? You cracked me up (yet again,) with your you-ness. Thanks.
Suzen: I’d love for you to leave a link to that post you mention! Those kinds of things just crack me up. Or maybe I can search for it on your site. I’ll try that.
Cath: Well, I guess I’m cruel for posting that picture? But the typo is kinda funny when you think of its’ literal meaning. Or… maybe it was NOT a typo. Maybe there really was a dyer this person was trying to recall. You never know.
G: Well, just insert a lot of bra, butt, and hip wader references and you should start to see things get quite more, shall I say, “interesting” over there.
Megan Joy Girl: I shoulda known. I’ve heard of you and your wild enquiring mind constantly on the look-out for what’s best for our furry friends. Thanks for your animal advocacy!
On 20 September 2009 at 8:57 pm Talon said,
Wow – singing donuts! I guess we know why they’re missing – they’re performing on broadway!
On 20 September 2009 at 9:24 pm Cindy said,
Fluffy fuzzy monster boots was my favorite I think
On 20 September 2009 at 9:55 pm vered - blogger for hire said,
“I’m 54 and I can’t find a good bra” – it’s almost as if she’s treating Google as a confessional.
On 20 September 2009 at 10:09 pm Funny Pictures said,
Narrow down your target keyword which yields a relatively high number of searches, and relatively low number of search results. Funny Pictures
On 21 September 2009 at 12:52 am Thomma Lyn said,
hehehe, hilarious! Your keyword searches are such a scream.
I get lots of keyword searches on mushrooms, flowers, trees, and hiking, but recently, I got one that I found particularly funny: “poop shrooms.” And sure enough, a little while ago, I’d posted a picture of shrooms that I dubbed “poop shrooms.”
xoxoxo
On 21 September 2009 at 2:20 am SnaggleTooth said,
I was unaware Ukuleles had breasts…
Talking of Freaky- isin’t that line from SuperFreak “She’s a very Kinky girl”??
Three whole sections of laughs- Thanks- n
whoever you are (megan) “NO! Fruity rolls are NOT good for dogs!
“whoo whoo whee whoo” -Walk Like a Man??
Wow ThommaLyn-lol
Lollipop, Lollipop, oh lolly, lolly, lolltpop- LOLLIPOP!
(*plup”) Ba Bom, bom, bom, bom
On 21 September 2009 at 2:24 am cinderkeys said,
Huh. *laugh*
Now I want to find out what search terms people use to find my band blog, except I have no idea how to do that.
On 21 September 2009 at 2:28 am Barbara Swafford said,
Hi Jannie,
And to think, we think we know how people will find our blogs. I’m beginning to think we have it all wrong.
Too bad you don’t know (or do you?) if those who used the above search strings and landed on your blog commented and/or subscribed.
I’m still laughing at “what is the name of song that goes whoo whoo whee whoo”.
On 21 September 2009 at 2:57 am J.D. Meier said,
Body cast tickling sounds like a team sport.
I hope the chainsaw man voice isn’t listening.
On 21 September 2009 at 3:48 am George Serradinho said,
It somehow never amazes me to what people search for. Some I can understand, but others are just plain crazy. I guess we all have our moments
On 21 September 2009 at 5:45 am Robin said,
ha ha ha ha ha ha – many more ha has – you are so funny! I can see I’m using the wrong keywords – you should write a book “Keywerds for Dummies”!
On 21 September 2009 at 6:38 am Jannie said,
Ha, ha, hee, hoo!
Gettin reddy to git the kid to sckool. See ye all soon.
On 21 September 2009 at 9:13 am Dot said,
America can’t spell. “Hip weighters” reminded me of all the times I’ve seen “rod iron” advertised on eBay. Maybe it’s me, but a lot of those sound like men trying to find a photo they’ve seen — “ukelele breast” — a woman with a naked breast and a ukelele?
On 21 September 2009 at 10:49 am Paul Maurice Martin said,
Define, “Funster…” Hmm, maybe another search…
On 21 September 2009 at 11:24 am Paige said,
I guess my typos aren’t so bad after all, it’s the missing words that can cause a problem.
and yes the ukelele with a breast???? Men they are so…well like men.
On 21 September 2009 at 12:45 pm Tess The Bold Life said,
Jannie,
This is crazy. I’ll bet they come, comment and stay! Now we all know your secret!
On 21 September 2009 at 1:55 pm Mama Zen said,
Where to look for missing donuts? How far could they have gone?
On 21 September 2009 at 2:54 pm Jannie said,
Lynn: Again! Yes, it is very very hard to control, or I guess I should say kontrol blue bunny. He does calm down nicely tho when he gets his own brand (wonderment,) of ice cream into him. So glad you gave me the heads up on that, must work it into a post sometime.
Talon: La, la, la, la, la, la ,la. That’s my donut warming up. On a C scale. Whoops, I ate him. Hee. Ah. And I’ll never have that recipe again. Oh Noooooooooooooo.
Cindy: Fluffy fuzzy monster boots can never be underestimated in any climate, in any season by any age wearer. The bright blue ones seem to be the most famous!
Vered: Well, I guess Google is cheaper than a shrink?
Funny Pictures: Hey thanks so much for popping in adn taking the time to comment. Great advice! If my blog had a real niche that would apply indeed. I do get my monthly regular searches too tho for– wife in hip waders, pansy poems, songs about wedgies. But keeping it nicheless seems a lot more fun! And diversified
Thomma Lyn: Those are la creme de la creme from last month of about 300 unique searches that landed folks here. And yay on those poop shrooms!! Whoo-hoo. You sooo the poop shroom world wide maven, Babe!
Snag: I bin thinking about that and I wonder if there might indeed be a part of the uke called the breast? You know, like the guitar’s head, neck, etc? Could be? Weird, tho. Yeah- a VERRRY freaky girl – the kind you don’t take home to mother.
My boy lollipop, he makes my heart go giddy-up… LOVED your funny comment, btw.
Cinder Woman: Google Analytics! Free. You just need a bit of know-how on the code input thing. And away you go, off to crazy land. Or probably not so crazy land for you. But one never knows, does one?
Barbara: Hmmn, I never thought to think (which happens a lot to me,) about if they subscribed or not. Hmn, can I tell that from Google Analytics? I did see the one who searched about singing donuts did stay 20 minutes! I must do further in-depth searches to see how to make these work for me. Oh yes. Mwaa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha. And Barbara interestingly enough, I Googled that and it seems it’s that Gwen Stefani song, oh what is the name of that whoo whoo wee hoo song? We used to do a buttocks routine to it at Jazzercise.
J.D.: You are SO FUNNY!! The body cast tickling one I originally thought of as a verb too. And if the chainsaw voice becomes two instead of one I think we may have a real problem.
George: I think you said it very well in “We all have our moments!” It is true. If I look at any of my given Google searches let’s say over a week or so, (maybe even in one day!) they might come out very very strange seeming to some one else too. Great observation!
Robin: Well, the thing is– I get this post for FREE each and every month because of the stuff people absolutely HAND me. Yay! How sweet is this! Yes, maybe after I get my “Like A Bord On A Wire” book published a publisher might be interested in a “Keywerds For Dummies.”
You Rock, Girl! You always make me laff ‘n laff, you Oz nut you. (And I’m at liberty to say that ’cause I’m a Canuck nut — and we 2 peaze in a pod.)
Jannie: May I say you totally kicked butt on the trail today! Oh, I may? Well you did. (Oh, and Ya might wanna think about heading to the shower after posting this, um-kay??)
Dot: Oh we need to make a list just of misspelled words! Yes, there’s a post idea! Let’s start one up, shall we?? But you know what word is ALWAYS spelled wrong? W.R.O.N.G. Hee hee (Kelly told me that one.) And curiously, are you into wrought iron? Or MAYBE, those guys are searching for re-bar?? You know, ROD iron? Heee.
Paul: Hello again! Umn, yes good thought. Here’s what Encarta says… fun·ster [ fúnstər ] (plural fun·sters) noun Definition:
somebody who likes good time: somebody who likes to have fun or who enjoys telling or playing jokes ( dated informal ) (end excerpt.) Oh no I’m dated! Or maybe it means a lot of people ask funsters out on dates, because they’re so wonderful?? Yes, of course that’s IT!!!
Paige: I likes you tipe-ohs. As to ukulele breast, you might want to see my response above to Snag. And you know what?? I took a glance at the new funny search words for Sept. And ukulele breast is in there again! What the heck? Maybe that does bear Googleing. Is there some new trend I’ve missed?
Hey Tess: I dunno. I’m getting a 79% bounce rate on those. But you never know. After a while things might just stick indeed with people. Or they will think 6 months down the line.. “Strange Blog, strange blog, who had that strange blog?” They’ll type that in and there I’ll be — the exact one they were looking for!
Mama Z: Have you guys seen ‘Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs ” yet? We did yesterday and after that, I strongly believe that donuts could be ANYWHERE!!! Like on rooftops, under beds or in my mailbox. Yikes! Good movie — gave it a 3.75 on 5!
On 21 September 2009 at 3:29 pm Chris Edgar | Purpose Power Coaching said,
I always wondered about the genealogy of the name Funster and now my curiosity is satisfied — it’s French. I believe it’s pronounced “Fun – STEHR.”
On 21 September 2009 at 3:45 pm joaquin said,
“where to look for missing donuts” – like a csi / reno 911 crossover show. awesome!
On 21 September 2009 at 6:23 pm Patricia said,
Jannie,
I am with G – I never get these kinds of searches for my blog…Breakfast with Buddha brings in the most and “People are often unreasonable” poem…the number 2 slot.
I don’t think I am jealous and I keep working at getting a few more readers and back to better levels as before my trip, but I would enjoy a singing donut.
Good fun here.
On 22 September 2009 at 4:10 am Miles McClagan said,
Body cast tickling?
I can’t even get a jelly cup…
(I’m sure this can be worked into a Bob Hope special, if I wasn’t tired)
On 22 September 2009 at 6:42 am Jannie said,
Whoo-hoo! I am writing this comment on my blog’s first birthay, still so thrilled with the advanced exciteement of being one year old. I’ve been up since 3:30.
Anyhoo…
Chris: You cracked me up! Yes, indeed,and I picture your accent as a Steve Martin Inspector Cluseau on that!
Joaquin: The Missing Dunuts. I should get working on the theme song to that one ASAP!!
Patricia: What does Buddha eat mostly for breakfast? I am curious. And yeah, I totally know about that vacation readership dip! But we come back fighting, better than ever.
Yo Miles! Always a pleasure. A jelly cup eh? Is that a drinking glass? I still marvel at and revel in the wonder of our subtle language differences, or I should say, our different terms for things. And God, I hope you’re not in a body cast?? I must check in on you.
On 22 September 2009 at 2:20 pm Liara Covert said,
Thought-provoking stuff, Jannie. Consider these;
1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning’ bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
On 22 September 2009 at 5:05 pm sheila said,
Okay, I just LOVE that pic of Kelly in the restaurant! lol. Everytime i see it it brings me joy.
And who the hell feeds their dog fruit roll ups? DUH
On 24 September 2009 at 3:48 pm Jannie said,
Liara, that list is HILARIOUS!!! Thanks for sharing. I laughed so much. I can certainly relate to number six and having so much useless junk in the garage. Number 8 and the hotdog dilemma too – it boggles me on many an occasion – weekly, actually. And number 10 I think can be explained if the passenger is blind? But still, that is pretty dumb.
Sheila: That did seem to be the one most people liked, so there you have it again!! I guess the dog got into the roll-ups,and they probably landed here from my post about our weiner dog getting into the Hallowe’en chocolate.
On 14 October 2009 at 11:48 pm MiaHysteria said,
LOL. These always crack me up.
(sorry I’ve been gone so long).
MiaHysteria´s last blog ..The Ups and Downs
On 15 October 2009 at 7:04 am Jannie said,
Hi Mia: Well, I have another set to post soon, from last month. I get such a kick out of them too.
Always great to see you here, Beautiful Lady. You are always in my heart.
xo