I AM, Said I

Ass Kicking | Posted by Jannie on 27 December 2009 @ 2:42 PM 67 Comments


Last night I admitted the following on an inspiring blogger’s post…

I AM going to spend 30 minutes a day maximizing my Twitter sphere.
I AM going to learn another 7 great songs on guitar.
I AM going to up my blog posting to 3x weekly.

And shortly after posting that comment on Keith’s Awesome Post, a few more I AMs hit me for my 2010 goal list…

I AM going to increase the amount of sites that link to mine from the current 276 to at least 500.

I AM going to completely organize all our closets and keep them that way.

I AM going to learn to poach eggs without breaking the yolks.

I AM going to do 222 buttock lifts daily — yes 111 on each side.

I AM going to add the Charleston to my soup aisle dance repertoire.

I AM going to expand my kelp knitting business to include maple syrup collage and spaghettini cowboy sculptures.

I AM!   I AM!!   I AM!!!

AND… I AM super-recommending Keith’s awesome “It’s Time To Get Real” post. He’s got some really excellent stuff in there.

So, my Friendly Reading Peep, what I AMs are on YOUR “anti-resolution” goal list?

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  • 1

    On 28 December 2009 at 10:12 pm

    MiaHysteria said, 

    I’m totally jealous on the butt lifts…not sure my butt could lift quite that much. But, I do have goals and what I’ve been thinking is exactly what Keith wrote:

    “To achieve something you have never achieved before, you must become someone you have never been before”

    What a great statement!
    .-= MiaHysteria´s last blog ..Who Coobies? Not Me Monday 12-28-09 =-.

  • 2

    On 29 December 2009 at 3:48 am

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    I’m totally non committal on resolutions lately.
    Mia’s got me wanting to hurry n read the Keith post-
    Can’t think of Neil without my Mom, cause he was her fave of all time.
    Have a good last week of the year-
    .-= SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Whew =-.

  • 3

    On 29 December 2009 at 7:48 am

    Tess The Bold Life said, 

    Yes did you see how big Lance’s following is on Twitter?!?
    He must know all the tricks. I need to do the same. Skip the buttock lifts I AM going to be lazy!

    The first album I ever bought was one of Neil Diamond’s. I was a Freshman in High School and 15 years old. OMG that was 40 years ago!
    .-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..Celebrate Your Growth In 2009 =-.

  • 4

    On 29 December 2009 at 9:55 am

    Jannie said, 

    What a beautiful morning it is! I woke up alive and healthy. Whoo-hoo!!!

    Tammy!! I hereby not only declare you mentally stable, but fit as the finest fiddle ever been known to man — hell, I’ll even throw in some fit bassoons, violas, two flutes and twenty-four impeccable tubas to describe the excellent state of your health. IRS — have to admit I’m totally clean with that clan, those bas$#@ds. Do you know the penalties and interest they charge is Unconstitutional?? Well, I better not think on them any longer.

    Sire!! Do you mean you’ve pushed the 50 mark as per buttocks lifts on each side, or in age?? I love being this age — 45 — I am just getting started in life now that I have disovered my true calling — which is blogging to the max. Are you committed to blogging FOREVER too??

    Suzen!! Are you 90?? Because I’m 45, which would be half your age. If you’re 80 I’m 56% of your age, if you’re 70 I’m 64% of your age, if you’re 60 I’m 75% your age, if you’re 50 I’m 90% your age. If you’re 40, I’m much much older than you. :) So what is it, you wild wild woman??? I’ve never seen Neil live, have you?? And I’ve never been to Spain, but I kinda really really like the music.

    Momisodes!! You just take care of that baby bump and leave the butt lifts to me, okay?? Altho, and not to make you feel bad any whatsoever at all, I did Jazzercise right up until the day before Kelly was born, and I felt so great. I modified my routines tho, to not include the triple backwards flips and the mid-air screaming glute rotations.

    Ahhh, but Mia hysteria!! Remember I did see your butt? In that bikini, remember? And found your derriere did more that meet the muster of worldwide standards in form, depth and stunning resilience to quarters bounced thereon. I’m so glad you read Keith’s post. I basically don’t know him from Adam’s pet goat, but I get a great vibe from that guy.

    Snaggle — but the I AMs are non-resolution resolutions. (Kinda!) :) I feared if I had not put my goals and dreams in writing I would forever stumble along as usual. I know Liara’s right, all we have and need is this one sweet moment. — By freaking jove, could I have just here and now found the missing lyric for my 11th melody?? All We Need Is This One Sweet Moment. SNAG!!!! (Or a variation on that, in some form.) You’re a freaking genius and inspiration. I love you more than ever!!! THANK YOU!!! Now, to the other 99% of the tune…. Oh, Neil was your mom’s favorite, how bittersweet you must feel. I really love his songs, such feeling. Blessing to you, Snag, now and always, good last week of the year to you too.

    Tess!! I think I will from now walk in Lance’s Twitter footsteps, how could I possibly go wrong following a great wonderful guy like Lance? Maybe I can go down his list of peeps, and follow them, because I implicitly trust his judgement on people. By jove — I do believes i haz a Twitter plan. THANK YOU dear Tess, you continue to shine so sweetly for me. Can you feel my big cyber hug squeezing you tight? Off to crash Lance’s Twitter buds now! I CAN, SAID I !!!


    xoxo to all, forever.


  • 5

    On 29 December 2009 at 10:55 am

    Jeanne said, 


    I can handle a little “We Are Family”. It’s catchy but not as likely to get stuck in my head and just plain torture me like Neil did. I can handle “I’m Walking On Sunshine” too. It’s the same deal. Catchy but not in a torturous, “will NOT let go” kind of way.

    Hmm. I pulled up your YouTube suggestion and didn’t make it past the line, “the bloody standard is raised”. That was about when I hit the pause button. Thanks ever so much for sharing, though. I’ll take a pass on that song. I mean no offense to anyone (in this a whole country) by not caring to drill that tune into my brain.

    If I make it back to Alicia’s blog and then back here again anytime soon, I will let you know. I am struggling hard to keep up in blog comment land.

    Yes, I like the whole “every day is like a clean slate” mindset.

    It’s really alright that you skipped the Neil YouTubes. The still picture was enough for that song to torture me all yesterday and it’s threatening to repeat today if I don’t hurry away.

    Yes, you made a nice list. It’s awesome that you know what you want and are excited about it. Carry on and make sure you get plenty of that personal ass kicking you mentioned done!! You are an inspiration to ass kickers everywhere!

    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Online Identity Theft =-.

  • 6

    On 29 December 2009 at 2:14 pm

    Jeanne said, 

    Jannie, as for me, I AM continuing on my path to go where I’ve never gone before and do what I’ve never done before . . . with a twist, no planning! As it happens I’ll recognize it and with a big hug I’ll say “hey, I’ve never been HERE before, and I’ve never done THIS before” — I AM doing stuff backwards and loving it :)

    Great list of yours, we’ll all be demanding photos of each item, you know.

    2010, bring it on!!
    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Sunset Speaking =-.

  • 7

    On 29 December 2009 at 4:52 pm

    G said, 

    More like the genetic abnormality that I’ve alluded to infrequently on my blog has now really forced me to buy….Dragon NaturallySpeaking voice recognition software.

    And I try to keep my grumpiness off other people’s blogs because the last thing I want is for anyone to become offended over something I said in the heat of my grumpiness.
    .-= G´s last blog ..The Vein Done Tapped Out? =-.

  • 8

    On 29 December 2009 at 6:11 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Jeanne!! So Jeanne, Neil is not your Number One guy to listen to? What if he and Tori did a whole show of duets, could you dig it?? Gee, I really apologize on the Bloody Standard Raised part. I must admit I didn’t really read all the lyrics. But I do like that melody, I see it’s in 2/4 time — a march. So may I revise my comment to you to say on that tune, La Marseilleise, liek the first 8 measures, with no words just da-da-das, okay? Awesome!!! Well, go further in the melody if you wish because that second part is pretty great too. Reminds me a bit of that song from Disney’s the little mermaid, in parts anyway. Now, Jeanne it’s not too late for me to put some Neil Youtubes in here! Blog commenting and keeping up with it?? I’m doing pretty-okay lately here on my own blog, and try to read as many of your guys’ blogs as I can. So far – so good and having a freaking ball, but funner that a ball, if the ball was actually boring. :) You fellow ass-kicker, you!!! :)

    Jeanne!! Another fine Jeanne who art a-travelling. Hallowed by thy motor home. :) I still think how freaking awesome it is you are actually doing what you are. All those States. All that New Stuff. Just going where the days takes you. I can’t be there with you, so I’ll take a little trip a day in my mind and on my blog. And see you next month!! What highway will you be taking into Austin? Or I should ask, from which direction or what town? From Dallas? El Paso? From San Antonio? You gonna like it here. A lot. Hope I can show you around a bit before of after that big game???

    G! I just read the best post on that voice software you speak about!! On ProBlogger, few weeks ago. Darren had on a guest blogger by the name of Jon Morrow. Super nice guy and great post. Here is the link…


    I bet Jon would help you with any issues, Maybe leave a comment on the post, or contact Jon through his website,CopyBlogger, linked on the post. Good luck!! (And great philosophy on the grumpiness.)

  • 9

    On 29 December 2009 at 6:38 pm

    Jeanne said, 

    Well, since you mention it — we’re arriving Austin on 1/28, will be there for 10 days (my son lives in Austin). Gotta find a decent campground to stay at, hopefully not too far away.
    What highway? The infamous I-10,coming from Las Cruces New Mexico! You bring the donuts, I’ll get the beer, and we’ll hooty-hoot a bit at the campground, hopefully with your family and Blue Bunny, too!
    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Sunset Speaking =-.

  • 10

    On 29 December 2009 at 9:49 pm

    Jeanne said, 

    Oh Jannie,

    I think you know that I would listen to a duet between Tori and a room full of blackboards with fingernails running across them… because all I would hear is her. (Though I suppose it wouldn’t be called a duet if multiple blackboards were involved but I think you get my meaning).

    Seriously, I don’t strongly dislike Neil or anything. He’s just not my favorite. When one combines “not my favorite” with “way too catchy” where music is concerned, I just get annoyed at whatever song ends up stuck in my head.

    No apologies needed. I was just explaining what prompted me to hit pause on that anthem. You are too funny. I’ll take your word for it on the mermaid part.

    Nope to the Neil videos. Nah. I made my own YouTube today! Wait until you see it. It features an item that’s bloggy good fun!! (It is the present I told you about previously that Hubby gave me in honor of the fact that I am older than dirt). You will also appreciate the climate theme, my ex-Canadienne friend!! So, no thanks to the Neil YouTubes. I have my own.

    I’m not keeping up with blog commenting well at all but I keep landing here. That’s what happens when I am in need of Funsterment. There are so many blogs I need to visit but I keep landing back in Funsterland.

    Can you blame me? All the ass-kicking and merriment here… who could resist???

    Psst… When I finish here, I need to get caught up on replying to comments on my own blog. Yes, I took a Funster break first… to obtain energy and some Funster spirit.

    Jannie, there is no way a ball could be boring if you were there! You’d be the belle of the ball… serenading all the guests into a state of sonic wonderment.

    Jannie, I could never put my ass-kicking skills in the same league with yours. I only wish it were true. ‘Tis simply not an accurate comparison. Though I will happily take ass-kicking lessons from you. When do classes start?

    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Winterize Your Body (VIDEO) =-.

  • 11

    On 29 December 2009 at 9:57 pm

    TheWordWire said, 

    Man, that’s an ambitious list. I think you’ll be able to add So You Think You Can Dance routines to your soup aisle repertoire if you keep up with the butt lifts. Good luck!
    .-= TheWordWire´s last blog ..Best Laugh of 2009: Smarter Than He Looks =-.

  • 12

    On 29 December 2009 at 10:53 pm

    Robin said, 

    What on earth is a buttock lift? Or shouldn’t I ask?

    Have a great New Year Fannie Jannie – love from Rob
    .-= Robin´s last blog ..There Is A Vitality =-.

  • 13

    On 30 December 2009 at 3:01 am

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    Have you seen the movie, “Madagascar 2, Escape from Africa”?

    I think the main menu screen, plus the in-tandem walk demonstrated at the end of the film- both demonstrate buttock lifts…!

    Can anyone else think of examples?
    .-= SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Whew =-.

  • 14

    On 30 December 2009 at 7:11 am

    Lance said, 

    Tip #1: Install the tweetmeme plugin onto your site – it creates a button on each post that is easily clickable to have your post re-tweeted. Tip #2: Just get out there on twitter and start talking. You’ll be a pro in no time!!! And…the lavendar lilac was all gone, so I used lavendar tomato. Now my hands smell like I’ve been in the garden, but without the dirt…
    .-= Lance´s last blog ..Sunday Thought For The Day =-.

  • 15

    On 30 December 2009 at 7:16 am

    Mama Zen said, 

    I MIGHT buttock lift myself off the couch. Maybe. No promises.
    .-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..Review: Rosarita Salsa =-.

  • 16

    On 30 December 2009 at 8:26 am

    Jannie said, 

    JEANNE!! January 28th, one of my favorite dates to meet bloggers!! :) RV park! RV park! There is one down on Barton Springs Road, that’s the only one I know, it’s basically downtown. But you’ll have to come and park at our house, if you wish. “You bring the donuts, I’ll get the beer,” had me so hooty-hooting Kelly came running to the computer to see what was so funny. Oh, we’re gonna have soooo much fun!!

    JEANNE!! You too make me laff and laff. I do think that scene in Jaws with the blackboard could use a lot of Tori in it. Maybe they could re-master and dub in some. I like her tune “God,” I think that’s the name of it — you know the one that goes “God, sometimes you just don’t come through. Do you need a woman to look after you?” And I keep landing up in Chronic Healing land — go figure, I kinda like the author. It’s an ass-kicking supreme land over there!!! I think we can pretty-much co-teach on the ass-kickingness.

    The Wordwire!! Well, I do have 12 months, and I may already have conquered the poached egg dilemma — I’ll have my eggs delivered already poached. Yep, my and Tom Delay in the soup aisle busting our best moves. I’ll need a new dress!!!

    Robin — my dear one and only ass kicking (or I should maybe say, arse-kicking,) Robin!! How I have missed you so. And how I love thee, could I ever begin to count the ways?? Probably not, so I won’t try and fall short of all the shades beauty and wonderment of humanity you are. A buttock lift, my dear, is when you see a stranger in the soup aisle and you lift them by their glutes up to the top shelf so they can reach the chicken with fusilli — stores always put that one at the very top for some reason unbeknownst to lowly mortals, such as I.

    Snaggle!! Indeed I fell short of even watching the whole first Madagascar, but I now have a most burning urge to watch the second one. A couple of my all-time fav movies tho, are Butts In Space, Butt Space Nine, The Postmans Always Kicks Butt Twice and The Derriere Who Loved Me. Sheer classics! And I’m sure you’ve seen those, as well as Butt Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest??

    Lance!! Tweetmeme — yay!! I think I’ve seen that thing at the top of your posts, just to the left of your widgets with Queen Elizabeth’s II’s Commemorative mini snapshots, right? Did I tell you I saw her bed on the Royal Brittainia? Yep, I did in 1999!! Get out there and tweet — yay!! I did tweet once yesterday. I think I’ll just go down your tweetlist and follow all your buddies — that’ll work! Any buddy of yours is a good one of mine. Tomato soap — yay!! I just bought some turnip and collard greens soap infused with pure gold!

    Mama Z!! Sometimes I have to do that too, well to get my posterior off this computer chair, I mean. I do sit cross-legged tho, that ought be good for me some how and add years of good clean fun to my days!

    xoxo to all.


  • 17

    On 30 December 2009 at 11:46 am

    Ana Goncalves said, 


    Are your ‘I am’ linked to what you have already established, are doing right now, or will do?
    .-= Ana Goncalves´s last blog ..Love is truth guided by you =-.

  • 18

    On 30 December 2009 at 5:21 pm

    G said, 

    Hey wonder gal!

    Thanks for the link. I bookmarked it and will try to take a look at it in the coming weeks.

    Many thanks!
    .-= G´s last blog ..2009: Was It The Best It Ever Was? =-.

  • 19

    On 30 December 2009 at 11:23 pm

    J.D. Meier said, 

    Neil is just too cool. I listened to his Christmas stuff the other night and it’s just too powerful. He nails it like only he can.
    .-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..10 Ways to Know Thyself =-.

  • 20

    On 1 January 2010 at 10:56 am

    Jannie said, 

    Ana, my I AMs are mostly linked to good intentions, fine wine and my lifetime membership to Buttock Lifters united. :)

    G, I highly recommend it, and it comes with a nice video.

    J.D. I actually have never had a Neil album, nor knew of his Christmas songs, but i sure like I Am, Sweet Caroline and Kentucky Woman. But I have Neil Young CDs.

  • 21

    On 1 January 2010 at 5:06 pm

    cinderkeys said, 

    Jannie: This year I only wrote four songs. Eventually I hope to record all of them.

    Thanks for donating to WPI. They’ve done amazing work so far, and any fundraising efforts we do are likely to go there. And thanks also for buying the album. I hope you love every song … or at least most of them. 😀
    .-= cinderkeys´s last blog ..Targeting 2010 =-.

  • 22

    On 1 January 2010 at 10:53 pm

    Trey - Swollen Thumb Entertainment said, 

    Hi Jannie. I’m going with the typical “Read 52 Books in a year” resolution that all of the bloggers are doing, or have done. I know it’s not original, but I like the idea, because I have several books sitting on my bookshelf that I need to read. Plus, I can possibly review a couple of the books that I read on my website, and knock out an article or two in the meantime.
    .-= Trey – Swollen Thumb Entertainment´s last blog ..Anti-Social: The Album… Coming March 20, 2010! =-.

  • 23

    On 2 January 2010 at 12:55 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Trey, blogging book reviews is an excellent thing to do. I only review the ones I really like, makes life grand. What books are on your shelf these days??

  • 24

    On 2 January 2010 at 2:29 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Cinder, sorry I missed you up there. Have not at this date donated or bought the CD , but they are on my list!!

  • 25

    On 10 January 2010 at 4:59 pm

    Jeanne said, 

    Sweet Jannie,

    Sorry for the delay in getting back to your lovely comments. Whew! It has been a little busy lately.

    Yes, you make me laugh and laugh. Umm… I don’t know how to break this to you… No offense… but I think hanging out with Blue Bunny is having a negative impact on your spelling.

    I saw Jaws in the 1970s but my memory of it is very fuzzy and confined to scenes in the water with sharks. I don’t recollect the blackboard reference you made but anything could be improved by Tori’s music. Yes, the song you mentioned is indeed called “God” and, yes, I like it too. The phrase you mentioned (“Do you need a woman to look after you?”) cracks me up.

    Yes, I keep landing in Funsterland too. I land here for the very reason you gave… I really like the author.

    Thank you for declaring my blog “ass-kicking supreme land”!!!! I it’s true that I have such a blog, that is a massive accomplishment coming from you. After all, you are Queen Ass-Kicker, are you not??

    What’s that? You are proposing that we co-teach ass-kicking? Hmm. That might be fun!

    I do have an issue I feel compelled to bring up. It’s a long story so grab a beer and a donut and have a comfy seat. You might want to fling that bra off too. (I know how you are about beer, donuts, and bra-flinging). It’s a complex tale.

    I’ll have you know that we have a bit of a Neil Diamond crisis going on in our house. Yes indeed.

    You see, I had not heard any of his music in (literally) about a decade. Then I read your late December post and the picture of Neil Diamond paired with your blog post title succeeded in getting that song stuck in my head for about a week. (Thanks for that, by the way).

    THEN… last night the radio station we often listen to (adult contemporary) when we’re in the car played Neil Diamond not once but TWICE! They NEVER play Neil Diamond. Jannie, your post clearly impacted what our local radio station is now playing!

    Anyway, they played two different Neil Diamond songs. I should note that my daughter likes to listen to music to fall asleep and when we got home it was bedtime. So, we put the same station that was on in the car (for song #1) on in her room.

    Can you guess what the second Neil Diamond song (played at bedtime) was? “I AM SAID I”!!

    So, of course, hearing that song made me think of you and this post!

    Wait. There’s more.

    Unlike you, I can’t sing worth squat. In fact, I’m pretty sure that the local wildlife disperses when the sound of my singing voice escapes the walls of this house.

    Nevertheless, once in a blue moon I will sing anyway. I’m daring that way. I may sing, perhaps, to tease or annoy someone… You never know. I can be mischievous that way.

    Anyway, I began singing along with Neil. My daughter promptly covered her ears and began to shriek. My husband, who was also present to tuck her in, had a pained look on his face.

    However, I could not stop myself. I just felt compelled to belt it out. I had to sing “I AM SAID I”!!

    After a solid week of the song in my head from when this post was published, I just HAD TO belt it out!! (Besides, I could tell that my daughter was secretly getting a weird kick out of my horrendous singing).

    So, after the song ended I kept singing it over and over for about 5 minutes. While it was great fun to tease her by singing this song that she claimed she didn’t want to hear me sing (despite body language to the contrary), the problem then became a familiar one.

    I CANNOT GET THIS SONG OUT OF MY HEAD! (Was this my punishment for singing when I have no business to sing?)

    It has been about 21 hours now and Neil is still persistently singing this song in my head. Also, my daughter has burst into song a few times today. Can you guess what she was singing??? Yes, during a phone call I had today… she was belting it out. Lovely.

    So, dear Jannie, I felt I owed it to you to let you know what you’d started. With no disrespect to Mr. Diamond, I can now say that our house has been infected with the Neil Diamond bug.

    So, the question becomes… what is the antidote? Well, I haven’t tried it yet but I’m about to go turn some Tori on and see if it will drown out the Neil Diamond. Please send me some sonic luck.


  • 26

    On 10 January 2010 at 5:07 pm

    Jeanne said, 

    Blue Bunny,

    Sorry I didn’t comment on this before; I just noticed this comment of yours:

    “i ate the karrit, but i did not eet the deputee”

    BB, you crack me up. By the way, BBB says hi. He’s sorry he hasn’t been by much. He has been very busy searching for organic carrots and beets.

    .-= Jeanne´s last blog ..Blogging Bug =-.

  • 27

    On 11 January 2010 at 7:13 am

    Jannie said, 

    Jeanne!!! Will return xoxo School morning awaits.

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