Too Much Tequila — I’ll Say!!

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 30 March 2010 @ 4:15 PM 52 Comments

image credit: photobuckettoo_much_tequila

Below are real searches that real humans actually typed to land on this site, from this past Nov. through Feb. I read them in my Google Analytics, THE awesomest website stats (free) service on the planet.

— squirrels in bikinis
— fun things to do with hand sanitizer
— shirley temple bowling balls
— smiley the chainsaw man
— 50 things to do weird
— 3 legged goat
— riding a grocery cart poem
— pain-in-the-butt coworker poem
— why did orgo think his pants were too short
— a picture of a fish holding a beer bottle
— poems that are actually good instead of the crappy poems that usually come up when i press search
— fun things to do to strangers
— picture of ugly man in sink
— naked man in kitchen sink

— are girdles making a comeback
— bra joy
— tara’s miracle girdles
— how to make a bra for a goat

— country jannie
— jannie weather reporter
— jannie madman
— jannie who sings at night in hawaii (Okay, okay — i just made this one up. “naked jannie” was the actual search, but I’m far too shy to ever reveal that.) :)

— i cant wait to try out my new-found hypnotic powers on my neighbor (good luck with that!  and how did that go, anyway??)
— jannie goes to jail photo (No! They swore those negatives were all destroyed! Destroyed, I tell you!!)
— peeing your pants and heroin use (gee, I do pee mine on occasion, but I never touch the hard stuff.)
— i love my jannie (ahhh, thanks, — i love YOU too — whoever you are!)
— videos of kids chanting 13, then with 14 — a poke in the eye (ouch!)
— why is my wife the only one who makes me crazy (dude! that’s the post-Eden cosmic plan! yet, a new Eden does await, even at this moment if you so allow.)
— my area rug smells like hay (yeah, don’t you just love that wonderful aroma!!?)
— sorta long sweet things to say to a girl — (ahhh, that’s niiiice!)
— awesome buttocks (you know — some days I do catch a glimpse of mine in the mirror and I think “not bad.  not bad at all.”  must be all this cross-legged sitting at the computer, those 20-minute walks twice a week, and sucking in my gut twice a month.) 😉
–too much tequila, too little sunscreen (yeah, like i said up in the title…)

— hello person reading these searches. i see you! — (i see YOU TOO!!!)

Sweet readers, I hope some of these made you chuckle!  :)

And if you are new here and fancy more of these weird searches, they start here, back before I had my ludicrous-big photos.  :)

Thanks, Sweeties!!  I’ll be posting again in the next coupla days, so y’all come back now, ya hear!!?


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  • 1

    On 1 April 2010 at 1:55 pm

    Thomma Lyn said, 

    I’d like to see a bra for a goat! And then there’s that three legged goat. The three legged goat might need a differently constructed bra. Points to ponder! 😀 And I wonder, just why did Orgo think his pants were too short? Did the squirrel in the bikini tell him? Or the smiley chainsaw guy (maybe the chainsaw guy shortened Orgo’s britches)?

    Thanks for the smiles and giggles, my sweet friend! :)


  • 2

    On 1 April 2010 at 6:35 pm

    Patricia said, 

    very funny, now I want to find my weird searches.

    Thank you :)

  • 3

    On 2 April 2010 at 5:08 pm

    dustus said, 

    Never too much tequila…well, except for those times when…never mind lol Enjoy the weekend!

  • 4

    On 3 April 2010 at 6:13 am

    Hilary said, 

    How’s your head? .. and how is BB .. I’m concerned about him with that much Tequila around .. especially the blue bottle …?

    Happy Birthday with lots of iced cake donuts, some ale, some fun and an excellent mix of friends and special family .. ENJOY .. and look forward to the pics – upside down, back to front, anyway which .. see ya .. hugs and love to all Hilary

  • 5

    On 3 April 2010 at 10:00 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hello you 4 sweeties who graced this post!!

    Thomma Lyn!! The poor old 3-legged goat would for sure need a modified bra. Geez Louise, these searches crack me up. I think Orgo’s mama dressed him funny, and he never go tover it?? :) Hopefully Smiley, the chainsaw guy shortened the britches while they were OFF Orgo!! :)

    Patricia!! Yeah, go for it! Under your Analytics dashboard… View Report > Traffic Sources > Keywords. easy as pie!! :)

    Dustus!! Tequila is a wonderful wonderful invention! Discovery? More of a drug than a regular alcohol, me thinks. I don’t think I’ve ever overdone tequila, but rum, 25 years ago, still recovering from that, I think. :)

    Hilary!! That blue bottle tequila we had to share with 50 friends, and everybody was tipsy, but happy — wicked wicked stuff that. Birthday — tomorrow, wow! It always sneaks up on me so fast. Looking forward to turning 29! :)


  • 6

    On 3 April 2010 at 10:09 am

    vikum said, 

    hahahaha… this is really funny! It starts with ‘squirrels in bikinis’.OMG!lol.
    Pour me some tequila. You are a one super Jannie !

  • 7

    On 3 April 2010 at 10:42 am

    Jannie said, 

    Well, Vikum, I cannot relaly take credit for writing these, only for culling through all the searches and sharing the ones I find funniest with you all. Kind of a freebie post — but always fun. :)


  • 8

    On 5 April 2010 at 1:47 am

    Chris and his Garden said, 

    Those are major silly search terms! But wait…how did they get to your site.

    **searches squirrels in bikinis**

  • 9

    On 7 April 2010 at 10:26 am

    Jannie said, 

    Chris from the garden!! LOVE your blog’s name. The word garden in general touched me deeply, as I think it does most people. Anyhoo, enough of that!! Welcome! Okay, how did YOU find me? Searching weird things?? :)

  • 10

    On 8 April 2010 at 10:40 pm

    Chris and his Garden said, 

    Hihihi…I think was searching for girdles. 😉

  • 11

    On 11 April 2010 at 7:23 am

    Jannie said, 

    Chris — mothing like a good-fitting girdle to set an outfit off just so!! :) :)


  • 12

    On 13 April 2010 at 7:19 pm

    Chris and his Garden said, 

    Just don’t tell anyone I was looking for it. 😉

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