The Wedgie Wedding Song

Song Stuff, Videos | Posted by Jannie on 23 April 2010 @ 2:13 PM 73 Comments

Just a little ditty I wrote, inspired in part by a George Carlin bit.  God rest his funny soul.

For anybody who does NOT know what a wedgie is, see the second definition here.   :)

Wedgie Wedding  Lyrics

1. The church was filled with flowers
And three hundred close friends
My gown of lace was white as snow
And I had no split ends
Everything was perfect, just as it should be
Except for one small detail that was
Tugging at me…
I had a wedgie on my wedding day
It crept on up as Dad gave me away
I had a wedgie but I tried to smile
Takin’ the trip down that long, long aisle

2. The groomsmen and the bridesmaids
We had ten of each
Guys in black tuxedos
Gals in satin peach
Cold champagne was waiting,
Steak and lobster too
All that I could think of was where my
Undies had gotten to…
I had a wedgie of atomic force
I would’ve loved to give it a yank, (of course!)
I had a wedgie but what could I do
Standin’ at the altar with my love so true?

3. Your undies may be borrowed
Your undies may be blue
But never ever let your undies
Get the best of you
Listen, everybody, don’t do as I have done
If you can’t trust your bloomers
You’re better off with none!!
I had a wedgie that was just plain wrong
My French-cut undies turned into a thong
I had a wedgie, I’m tellin’ ya , man!
It really wasn’t part of my wedding plan.
I had a wedgie on my wedding day.
I had a wedgie –what more can I say??

Friends, I have exactly 100 of my “I Need A Man” CDs left from my first printing.  And once they’re gone — they’re GONE!! There may be a second printing someday, but with changes.  So these are unique.

Get one here — only $10.00, plus low shipping.   Mailed with moonbeams and mystic loving meanderings directly from ME!!  :)

xooxo

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  • 1

    On 25 April 2010 at 11:17 am

    Jannie said, 

    Bonjour Davina, la belle! Poor Lance, I forgot to ask him if he really did trip or slip on his wedding day when I responded to his comment here, so I asked him earlier on his site today, on his Sunday Thought. I think the bass and the drums on the CD really add a lot, don’t you? And do y’all have motocops in Van?? :) Oh, and Davina — you tweeted this — thanks!! :)

    deere bell hillree, bonjer, it iz me — blue bunny ansiring yor kommint. no worrees, it all comes out in the woshing evinif my kommint is gon!! :) and i kno you loves ame lot. my jannie so mutch for shoes loves wedgees. she waring eider sneekers or wedgees, butt she needs noo wedgees as she old wuns haz a brokin strapp. i hops yoo hav a grate cuppa, and that all yor dreems comes troo forevver and evver!! xoxxo

    Bonjour Bk, la belle. Parles-tu francais?? :) We at Funserment Global Inc are MORE than thrilled you enjoyed our little video offering. we hope you will come back and watch whenever you need a little pick-me-up. We like you laughing!!! And we like YOU a LOT!!! :)

    Bonjour Thomma Lyn of my heart of hearts, la Belle de la montaigne. You don’t need a translator for this, do you?? :) Do you speak French? It wouldn’t surprise me at all!! I’ll be sure to pass on your kind sentiments to all the folks on our Funsterment Global Board, and I’ll be sure to tell them that YOU are adorable!!! (But they already know that!)

    Bonjour Jingle, la belle!! A hot blog?? Whoo- I better be careful not to burn my hands or singe my eyebrows on that!! :) Jingle loves me! Jingle loves me!!! :)

    Bonjour dear Cinder, la belle du piano!! Umn, well, I forgot to credit my hubby for the Motorcycle Cop voice in my liner notes, which will forever haunt me. And listen to my Great Plan… I think if I can win Kerville new Folk in 2011, then get “discovered” at SXSW by a label in 2010 (for all the babulous new songs I’ll be writing,) (Dream Jannie, dream) :) maybe 4 or 5 of these songs on the “I Need A Man” could be redone. Expecially… the title track in heavy metal, Bones in a funk beat and What’ll I Do With Me with a 58 piece orchestra. :) Hey, can’at hurt to dream, can it?? :) I’m serious about Kerrville next year. Gonna submit my 2 new best songs (well, what I hope will be my best,) and let ‘er fly!!

    Dear Vikum, le beau, bonjour!! Parles-tu francais? Moi un peu. (Meaning, do you speak French? I do a bit.) You are a man of many talents and it is wonderful getting to know you better as blogging unfolds. I find Thinking Park a very postive and uplifting place. so songs too?? I will love hearing them when you are ready to leave a link. Exciting!! I will be writing more on songs tomorrow — but no more wedgie ones, I think. :)

    Bonjour Dear Adam, le beau. Ahhhh, so glad you liked it!! This song was one that came together rather easily for me. Once that idea started “tugging at me” it just would not let me be. :) George Carlin, well we knew he couldn’t live in this realm forever, as none of us can, but he is missed. A lot. Hoefully, he and his wedgie are happy in heaven! :)

    Bonjour SuZen, la belle de Erasing les Bored. And hey, did I ever mention your gravatar looks a lot like Ble Bunny?? :) :) So glad to hear you and hubs could start off the day with a good giggle — my kinda way to start off a day too!! :) No wedgies tho, not such a grat way to start the day. :) have a beautiful one, but I KNOW you will ’cause you paint your life beautiful. Oh! Speaking of painting, haz the Wedgie Song inspired gorgeous paintings from you yet?? :) :) :)

    xoxoxoxo

  • 2

    On 25 April 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Ji said, 

    Happy Sunday!
    😉

  • 3

    On 25 April 2010 at 12:12 pm

    Ji said, 

    Everything okay with you,
    best regards.

  • 4

    On 25 April 2010 at 8:38 pm

    Carla said, 

    lol, that’s great!!! I can see it happening.

  • 5

    On 25 April 2010 at 9:02 pm

    kelly said, 

    hi mom 😉 ,i did’nt read the post but i loved that day when you did the show, it was really fun. 😀 .

    (p.s. i think you r really awesome and your posts are never boring take care mom,
    love you bye!! 😀 )

  • 6

    On 25 April 2010 at 9:05 pm

    kelly said, 

    oh yeah,and i forgot to mention, BB looks SOOOO awesome with his carit,tell BB hes really cool bye!!again!! 😀 😛 😉 ;D !!

  • 7

    On 25 April 2010 at 9:16 pm

    kelly said, 

    Hello Jannie (A.K.A mom),you are the best mom existing.I love you so much and did you you notice how awesome,cool,beautiful,pretty,nice,kind,great-at-singing, and loyal you are?

    And most of all,you are my awesome mom!!

  • 8

    On 26 April 2010 at 8:18 am

    LL Cool Joe said, 

    How can I top anything your daughter has just said! 😀

  • 9

    On 26 April 2010 at 8:32 am

    Tony Single said, 

    YEEHAW! I can finally access your site again, Jannie! It seemed to be down for a little while. Did bunny have the blues?

    Love the song! I can imagine doing the Snoopy Dance to this. Why? I don’t rightly know, but it feels right. :)

  • 10

    On 26 April 2010 at 8:56 am

    Jannie said, 

    thanks sweet dudes and dudettes.

    i will return later today. the hubs has me running errands today.

    xoxo

  • 11

    On 26 April 2010 at 9:27 am

    Megan "JoyGirl!" Bord said, 

    What a fun song! I pray that never happens to me, although I suppose going commando would solve that problem! Happy Monday!

  • 12

    On 26 April 2010 at 10:24 am

    Dot said, 

    One of my favorites from that CD!

  • 13

    On 26 April 2010 at 11:52 am

    Alice Audrey said, 

    You don’t need to tone down for me. Though, I do the same on my blog.

  • 14

    On 26 April 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    Home today, filing complaints on a Canadian scam mail fraud letter we received, and trying to figure out how to reduce the MB’s used on my site; over 6,000 postings has freaked out Google, and me I guess. So I am going back to 2007 and deleting old postings and jpg’s hoping to revitalize the blog, or save it. Your wedgie song is fun, like all the tunes on I NEED A MAN. Neat that one of the CD’s made it to England, and some to Australia too, right? Yes, BB, your karrit is the koolest, and we BB lovers are ecstatic. Thanks for taking the time to leave comments on my site, when Jannie is too busy running Hub Honey-Do errands.

  • 15

    On 26 April 2010 at 2:26 pm

    Sara said, 

    Jannie,

    This song always cracks me up. It is the funniest!! Izzy says that the best way to solve that problem is to just not wear anything that could “wedgie.”

    She says that’s what she’s done in her multitude of marriages. The only problem she says is that you have to be really careful on windy days:~)

  • 16

    On 26 April 2010 at 4:32 pm

    Jeanne said, 

    Bonjour Sweet Jannie,

    Comment allez-vous? (Have I got that right?)

    Woo hoo! I can’t wait until your post linking to the endometriosis awareness petition. Note I said “the” rather than “my” petition. You see… the petition belongs to every one of the 574 people who has signed it so far. Not to mention the truckloads full of signatures that will come tumbling in once you tell your wonderful Funsterland readers about it!!

    That’s right… ANYONE supporting the cause can sign. Since endometriosis affects 89 million women and girls worldwide (“This makes endometriosis more common than AIDS and more common than cancer”, as per Ohio State University Medical Center), chances are very good that ALL of your readers know someone who has endometriosis whether they know it or not.

    By the way, happy National Infertility Awareness Week. I am spreading awareness everywhere I go now through May 1st at a blog or Facebook wall near you. I would spread awareness via Twitter too but… Well, you know how that went. So, I just have to spread the word extra hard everywhere else.

    Infertility tip of the day:

    RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association says:

    “Infertility affects approximately 10% of the population. Since infertility strikes diverse groups – affecting people from all socioeconomic levels and cutting across all racial, ethnic and religious lines – chances are great that a friend, relative, neighbor or perhaps you are attempting to cope with the medical and emotional aspects of infertility”…

    Infertility affects a lot more people than most realize. Sadly, there is still societal stigma and lack of understanding. We’re working on that!

    Jeanne

  • 17

    On 26 April 2010 at 6:01 pm

    Davina said, 

    We do have motocops in Van. I haven’t been able to run fast enough to catch one yet, so I’m gonna have to go break a law :-)

  • 18

    On 27 April 2010 at 2:31 am

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    * Glenn, Btw- Blogger has been bugging out tonight.
    I checked some older April post comments, n tho it said on the main page there were 11 comments, only 3 would come up on the comments page- how bizarre!
    Glenn, it may not be you! Did that on several posts.
    I’d just make a “feel free to read 2” blog with links to the first- n keep the design you like without filling up the space or deleting-
    Good luck!

  • 19

    On 27 April 2010 at 2:31 am

    Adrenalynn said, 

    JANNIE!! You are in a word: FANTABULOUS. I’m so glad there are people like you in this world!

  • 20

    On 27 April 2010 at 9:33 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hi Jingle!! Hi! Sorry it took me so long to get back here, I’ve been so busy. Yes, Sunday was good, yesterday was good and I bet today will be great too!!! See you soon over at Jingle Land!! :)

    Hi Carla!! Mission accomplished if I painted such a realistic picture!! I wonder how many brides actually do get wedgies?? :) Altho wearing wedge heels would be a splendid plan, I think!!

    KELLY!!!!!!!! It’s been so long since you commented — what a thrill to see you back here. Your words are the best I’ve ever read in my entire blog carreer thus far! That was a fun show, wasn’t it?? I was so proud of you that day. And am so proud of you now. I told BB what you said and he is just beaming at yoru compliments on his “carit.” He says to watch out for more fun changes to him in the future! :) And Kelly, did YOU know that YOU are the best DAUGHTER existing??!!? And have you noticed how awesome, cute, pretty, sweet, funny, lively, smart, creative, graet-at-everything, loyal caring and loving YOU are??????? YOU ARE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

    Hi LL Cool Joe!! Loved your comment almost as much as Kelly’s!! :) :)

    Hi Tony!! Shoot, I didn’t realize my site had been down, darnit! I hadn’t noticed anything on my end, but perhaps I caught it just a the up moments? Did you do the Snoopy dance to this?? :) Quite fitting, I think!! Definitely not a slow ballet of a tune. :)

    Jannie!! You finally made it back!! :)

    Hi Megan!! Are you too shy these days to leave the link to your extreme Awesomeness?? :) Can I be invited to your wedding when you have one, please?? I’ll make sure all your potential trousseau troubles are attented to! :)

    Hi Dot!! Yes, it does seem to be one of the more popular tunes on that disc. :) I had soooo much fun writing and recording it!! :)

    Hi Alice Audrey. :) :) :) Well who knows just how wild I’ll let myself get around here from now on?? And in my songs?? :)

    Hi Glenn!! Firstly, I can’t believe you could possibly overload Blogger, can you?? Oh no, there must be anohter way besides deleting old posts. Geez, that sucks. All that time and work on those posts. Hmmn. There HAS to be another way! Thanks for all your comments here, I so appreciate your fun visits that ALWAYS make me smile. :) See? Smiling now!! :)

    Hi Sara!! How many times has Izzy been married??? :) :) And you know what — due to J.D. and Megan’s comments here I have learned what “commando” means in terms of undies — or rather, lack of. I swear — new things to learn ALL the time. Why, just the other day I learned how to take a computer printscreen — NEVER knew that before. Wow — just makes me wonder what else in this great big beautiful world I may yet learn. And here I was thinking I knew EVERYTHING!!! :)

    Bonjour la belle Jeanne!!! Je vais tres tres bien, merci!! Et toi, aujourd’hui? :) And yes — everybody’s endo petition, is right!! But you are the starter, the upholder, the champion, the selfless beacon of the petition cause! I sure hope now that I have new readers you will get many more signatures once I post about it again. You are so amazing!!! Infertility, ah what a heartbreak for so many, and a cause to shed light on for sure. You are AWESOME!!! THANK YOU!!!! (p.s. aujourd’hui means “today”!) You rock aujourd’hui, and every day.

    Hi Davina!! I took a pic of a Motocop the other day from 2 lanes over. He was so handsome and strong looking. But didn’t show a sign he knew I existed. :) So you are gogin to RUN fast! I guess you do no thave a car?? I can just picture bionic Davina running to keep up with a motorbike!! And hopping on back. :)

    Hi Snaggle!! Ahh, so Blogger was wigging out. Funny, Jim and I were wondering the other night about how big Google’s server must be, well of course they ARE their own server, I’m sure. But really — how can they possibly contain all the info they have, and growing daily?? It boggles this litle mind. Good advice to Glenn. I hope he doesn’t lose any more posts. I wil e-mail him to let him know what you suggest — thanks!!

    Ahhhh, Adrenalynn, thanks. And I am super overjoyed totally so happy there are people like YOU in the world!! But wait there is only ONE you!! I love your spirit, your funniness and everything I know about you so far!! :)

    xoxoxoxoxoxoxox

  • 21

    On 27 April 2010 at 12:26 pm

    Michael Yanakiev said, 

    Whoops! Jannie! -I really enjoyed the song.You were gorgeous!Living with music makes life easier.It is also fascinating to see how brilliant artists can pump in
    a special new + unforgettable meaning in practically everything.I hope that I am not hurrying,but that lovely daughter of yours I saw on the photos is so sweet! The child is father of the man – as W.Wordsworth said once.

  • 22

    On 27 April 2010 at 11:23 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Michael — how extremely lovely to have you pop in again and comment. Thanks very much for such kind and deep words!! You are so so correct that living with music makes everything better. Much better!! Wordsworth was worth every one of his words indeed. He and Maria Montessori were soulmates, I do believe, as to child philosophy.

    And hey — do you have a site or a blog? Or are you just a roving good guy leaving comments??

    See you in the next post, wehre I see you have also commented!!

    xoxo

  • 23

    On 28 April 2010 at 11:20 pm

    Patricia said, 

    I play this song for every Bride I talk to – to remind them that no wedding day is ever perfection….it’s all in the attitude :)
    My favorite song on disk 1

  • 24

    On 29 April 2010 at 10:10 am

    Jannie said, 

    Ahh, awesome Patricia. Poor brides, I see some cringe when I sing this song to them. :) You are right, it IS all in the attitude, as with all things!

    xox

  • 25

    On 29 April 2010 at 1:51 pm

    Barbara Swafford said, 

    You rock, Jannie,

    I LOVE your originality, your voice and your ability to write music. You’re the greatest.

    P.S. I also closed comments on posts over 90 days. I’ve already seen a decrease in spam. Imagine that. WOoT!

  • 26

    On 30 April 2010 at 10:48 am

    Jannie said, 

    Ahhh, thanks Barbara! So glad you enjoyed it. YOU are an original too! And I will be forever grateful for all ou offer on your blog, you really make a difference in the lives of so many of us!

    xoxo

  • 27

    On 1 May 2010 at 7:21 am

    Ana Goncalves said, 

    Jannie,
    Hahaa that is brilliant!
    I thoroughly enjoyed hearing you and your band.
    It was very magical and I love the lyrics.
    You definetly have a way of words and you express it so beautifully.
    Love it.
    Happy Day. :) xx

  • 28

    On 1 May 2010 at 9:22 am

    Jannie said, 

    Lovely Lovely Ana again!! how sweet of you to pop in and catchup on all my antics.

    THANK YOU!!!! For all your lovely words and encouragement!

    I can write songs! I can write songs!! Speaking of which, I shall be devoting large blocks of time to some new ones this coming week while Kelly is at her lovely stuccoed school. I tend to let myself get distracted by blogging if I don’t commit to the songwriting time! :)

  • 29

    On 5 May 2010 at 9:59 pm

    Greg London said, 

    Nice wedding song. I never heard an arrangement of it like that. Interesting.

  • 30

    On 6 May 2010 at 6:57 am

    Michael Yanakiev said, 

    My lovely Enchanting Jannie is enjoying herself! Jannie you are so sweet..If I had a flower for every time you made me laugh..I’d have a garden to walk in For ever. The way you wear your Hat..also..Cheers!

  • 31

    On 6 May 2010 at 9:17 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hey Greg. Welcome, and thanks. Well… since it is an original song I wrote and no one else has ever arranged it, I guess we could say that’s the only arrangement that exists. But you already knew that, right? :)

    Well, hello Michael. Well, the way you sip your tea… :) LOVE the flower garden reference! Can I quote you on that??

    xoxo

  • 32

    On 6 May 2010 at 9:44 am

    Michael Yanakiev said, 

    You are most welcome my lovely one! I am expecting to see more pictures of you and the wedding.Although weddings to me, are kind of sad to a certain extend..But if you can send me a picture of you with that great hat of yours, I will appreciate it strongly! I may not look like much,but I am Pro at Pretending to be a ninja. There goes a legend about the Greek Gods :- they were bored,so they invented human beings.But they were still bored,so they invented love,so they were not bored any longer.Then they decided to try love for themselves,and finally they invented laughter,so that they could stand it. Hahaha! Enjoy your wedding and all the people who love you!

  • 33

    On 6 May 2010 at 10:09 am

    Jannie said, 

    Wedding pix!! I did post one on our anniversary this past February. You can see it here…

    http://www.janniefunster.com/2010/02/22/18-years-jimmy/

    I was wearing more of a garland, than a hat. :)

    I will be purchasing some kind of nice practical but attractive summer hat before too long! I’m sure y9ou all will get to see a picture of it.

    That Greek Gods legend is stellar!!! here’s to laughter! And love.

    xoxo

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