Let’s Drink Up The Stars (song lyrics draft)
Poetry, Songwriting | Posted by Jannie on 19 May 2010 @ 2:14 PM 83 Comments
1. Let’s climb ‘way up the chestnut tree
And watch the sunset, you ‘n me.
Let’s breathe the honey-blossom air
In our magic castle way up there.
As day is dancing down to dark
And fireflies float up like sparks,
Let’s wave good-bye to this beautiful day
And hitch a ride on the milky way…
Let’s drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away.
2. Let’s sleep tonight down on the beach.
The moon is close enough to reach.
Let’s share my sleeping bag for two
And this box of donuts, me ‘n you.
With diamonds dancing up above
And everything made out of love,
Let’s hear the angels’ lullaby
And sail our dreams into the sky…
Let’s drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away.
3. Let’s drink it up, let’s drink it in –
This gift of life upon our skin
These works of wonder everywhere
On this little planet we get to share.
As we go dancing through our days,
As children laugh and music plays
Let’s sing our songs beneath the sun
And know the best is yet to come…
Let’s drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away.
Let’s drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away
drink up the stars and fly away.
(cha, cha, cha)
There you go – my newest song.
Granted, it’s not REALLY a song until you hear the melody. :) So let’s talk lyrics!
Song experts say each verse should advance the “story” while solidifying the chorus more each time.
Did I do that? Or does this song still need work?
Any lame lines in the song? Anything out of place? I welcome your brutally frank criticism. Indeed — I DEMAND it! Sometimes it’s hard to see the forest for the trees with our own work.
And in honor of Jingle’s Thursday Poetry Rally week 19, I submit “Let’s Drink Up The Stars” as a song-poem, and do humbly accept the recent award she bestowed upon me – The Most Open-Minded Poet Award.
LOVE those bamboo trees!!!
Thanks, Jingle!! For EVERYTHING, Jingle. I’m far from perfect – but I do try to listen to others’ viewpoints — I don’ t have to agree with them, just listen.
I hereby pass on the “Most Open Minded Poet Award” to all the new poets in the rally this week. I’ve yet to meet them but something tells me they are all either open-minded or open to considering it! 
I Eat Words and Spit Them Out In Sense: http://poetryjunk.wordpress.com/
Undead Poets Society: http://undeadpoets.wordpress.com/
Whinging Wino: http://whinging.wordpress.com/
Kurt Rees: http://kurtrees.wordpress.com/
Satsang With Lisa: http://worldloveperson.wordpress.com/
Soul Intention: http://soulintention.wordpress.com/
Pslightly Psycho Poems: http://psychopoems.wordpress.com/
The Baobab Papers:http://baobabpapers.wordpress.com/
No More Merlot: http://nomoremerlot.blogspot.com/2010/05/one-of-gracies-favorites.html
A Handful of Stones: http://www.ahandfulofstones.com/
Carl_aforinia Dreamin’:http://carlafornia.wordpress.com/
Poetic Didacticism: http://thequixotist.wordpress.com/
The Baobab Papers: http://baobabpapers.wordpress.com/
Uscthunderwolf’s Wolfden: http://uscthunderwolf.wordpress.com/
Two Steps from Chaos: http://twostepsfromchaos.wordpress.com/
You Will Rise Again: http://youwillriseagain.wordpress.com/
The Red Pen-Rained: http://splattland.wordpress.com/
Naming constellations: http://namingconstellations.wordpress.com/
WordSalad:http://lukepraterswordsalad.wordpress.com/
Missgypsy’s Blog: http://missgypsy.wordpress.com/
Just below my skin: http://realityisdreaming.wordpress.com/page/3/
Kirlgray’s Blog: http://kirigray.wordpress.com/
Mrs. Ott: http://alaskanott.wordpress.com/
ReforMUSING: http://reformusing.wordpress.com/
“Great” Thoughts: http://bluedrew.wordpress.com/
Cortni; In Phrases: http://cortnij.wordpress.com/
Heart of A Gunn: http://tygunn.wordpress.com/
Psych Experiment: http://psychexperiment.wordpress.com/
Lee Dimode: http://leedimode.wordpress.com/
A Dreamer’s Notebook: http://ladyhawke41.wordpress.com/
THANK YOU ALL!!
Posted with love by…
Jannie
xoox
(starry photo credit : spacespin)
P.S. Am I a bit behind again on blog reading and commenting? Yes!
Do I still have a few of your comments to answer on recent posts here? Yes!!
Do I still have a problem with my font too small where you log in to post your comments here? Yes!! (Sorry ’bout that, should have it cleared up soon. At least Blue Bunny’s font is back to normal where he leaves his little love songs for you!)
Do I still love you all — each and every one?? YESSSS!!!!!!!!! And YESSSSSSSSSSS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
On 19 May 2010 at 2:19 pm Jingle said,
oh, my what a huge surprise!
U Rock My World, Girl!
xoxoxoxo
On 19 May 2010 at 2:20 pm Jingle said,
rock the world,
you go,
I want to xoxoxo
you put on such a perfect show!
On 19 May 2010 at 2:22 pm Jingle said,
Jannie,
you yet have another award, the perfect poet award nominated by Brian miller to accept or post…
let me know a poet you wish to nominate…
coolest girl poet,
best ever poem written,
because it is musical,
it is merry and cheerful,
and
it is precious and priceless!
On 19 May 2010 at 2:25 pm Thursday Poets Rally Week 19 (May 20-26, 2010) | Jingle said,
[...] Jannie Funster:http://www.janniefunster.com/2010/05/19/lets-drink-up-the-stars-lyrics-draft/ [...]
On 19 May 2010 at 2:31 pm pete marshall said,
loved it, some great verse, can hear a tune as i read through it, well done
On 19 May 2010 at 2:39 pm Lynn said,
Congratulations on your award and that song is very you. I like the reference to donuts.
On 19 May 2010 at 4:15 pm Anthony North said,
Great words in that. Flowed perfectly.
Anthony North´s last blog ..REASON
On 19 May 2010 at 4:15 pm Erin Prais-Hintz said,
Am I inspired to make those lyrics into a piece of jewelry? YES!
That was wonder-filled. I would really love to hear it.
Awesome. You are.
Enjoy the day!
Erin
Erin Prais-Hintz´s last blog ..Coming To My Senses
On 19 May 2010 at 5:18 pm vered | professional blogger said,
Loved it! Can’t think of anything I would change.
On 19 May 2010 at 5:48 pm sheila said,
AWESOME Little Tune Jannie! I love it!
One day soon…lol…I promise…I’ll put that giveaway up! OMG, So crazy around here.
On 19 May 2010 at 6:40 pm Keith said,
Hello Jannie!
Music is life to me, and I really like these lyrics. I love a song that not only sounds awesome but also has great lyrics with meaning. I wouldn’t change a thing here and you know why? Because it is YOUR heart that is expressed here. I know what the experts say, and I agree for the most part, but to me I think the crucial thing is that the writer of the song write from their heart. I think you’ve done that
On 19 May 2010 at 6:53 pm richard north said,
this is excellent.
Great job
richard north´s last blog ..Lyric poetry titled ‘my life as a chef’ jingles poetry rally.
On 19 May 2010 at 7:51 pm Walter said,
It’s amazing the mystery, beauty and majesty of the stars and you’ve composed a beautiful song around it. Seeing the stars on a clear night, I do want to fly away and be among it.
On 19 May 2010 at 8:19 pm Jannie said,
…
Jingle — my dear!! I am humbled this little post pleases you. You work crazyily-hard on these Thurday Rally posts. In fact, do you ever feel you might burst from exhaustion over all you do? Oh — how sweet of Brian — but I am so imperfect.
But I hereby accept it, yes, thank you. Thank you so much, for all.
Pete — my dear!! Well, we’ve only just met — but I’m sure you ARE a dear.
Welcome! So glad you could pop in. Appreciate your input. A few of the lines I inserted just before I posted this, and I imagine there will be a bit of lyric tweaking yet. But I think I’ve got most of it now!! WHOO-HOO!!!
Lynn — my dear!! What came naturally to me was… “Let’s take our donuts and our beer up on the roof where the night is clear,” but it ended up on the editing room floor.
And we did have a HUGE horse chestnut tree beside our house, which sadly got split in half by lightening several years ago. But Dad had planted so babies from it,so maybe one day I shall climb way up one of them again! And they shall rejoice that I’m back! 
Anthony — my dear!! Why, thank you so much. Ahhh, appreciate your kind words.
Erin — my dear!! I think I already owe you a blog visit, right? But enough of that! you came, you shone you commented and it’s ALWAYS a joy to have you on our midst. Well, maybe when you hear the recording it will inspire your jewelry-making?
Just need to tweak a few lines. And look for a good guitar pattern, and will unleash it on you all in a video by yours truly of yours truly.
Vered — my dear!! Ahhh, thanks. Appreciate your input. What if I put in a line about beer? maybe?
Sheila — my dear!! Ahhhhhhhhhh, thanks. Yay!! “AWESOME little tune.” I liek the ring of that!
I do think it’s shaping up not too bad! Oh, I totally forgot about that second CD and your give-away for it. All in due time, as it is meant to unfold. 
Yeah, end of school year — crazy! But fun.
Keith — my dear Keith who had returned to the fold!!! Hey, so great to have you back. Ahhhhhh, thanks. YOur feedback is wonderful — and even if it were not, I could handle it — really I could. I am not married to my songs at all. Just so glad your heart felt mine speaking — that’s the beauty of music, it transcends all.
Richard — my dear!! Thank you so much. Appreciate your input and visit.
Walter — my dear!! Well, I did a LOT of brain-storming on this. had lists of celestial and nature words, and just kind of weaved them here and smoothed the edges off there and — voila!
Ahhh, and hopefully when you hear the words with melody, you will be swept indeed into that clear sky. Let’s hope, anyway! 
xoxoxo
On 19 May 2010 at 10:21 pm Talon said,
The song is lovely and each verse is a story unto itself and connects beautifully to the next. I think it’s lovely and I can’t wait to hear the melody.
Congrats on the well deserved award, Jannie! xx
Talon´s last blog ..An East Wind…
On 20 May 2010 at 12:10 am SnaggleTooth said,
The lines do seem musical already! Cool bamboo pic n award too. Those trees are even taller than the 7-footers here this week. Bet your song sounds magical also! Reading the “donuts” seemed strange- was expecting champagne or something!
I heard BB’s carrot soup had pickles in it…
SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Windowsills
On 20 May 2010 at 6:20 am hip chick said,
I love the lyrics. I would love to be able to hear the melody as well. I don’t see any lame spots…and, I think you need to write poetry or music as it comes to you at first and then perhaps finalize everything with a bit of a formula. But, if you don’t have it to begin with no amount of following any formula is going to get you there.
On 20 May 2010 at 6:48 am dustus said,
The lyrics are cool (the pic too).
On 20 May 2010 at 7:18 am Daisy said,
I love it, Jannie! I thinks it flows very well, and I really like the images you chose.
Daisy´s last blog ..Blogging Blues
On 20 May 2010 at 7:40 am Adrenalynn said,
I love it!! It’s both poetic and real. I can’t think of a single thing to pick on!
On 20 May 2010 at 7:44 am trisha said,
what a gorgeous beauty. take me with you when you are going for that trip
i wont bother i promise.
simply fabulous.
On 20 May 2010 at 8:19 am Tony Single said,
Wow! Jannie, you with awards coming out of your ears! Fantastic!
At the risk of sounding like a complete suck up, I think these lyrics are perfect! They’re uplifting little moments that add up to the larger than life experience of gazing up at the stars for me. Just fabulous.
Can’t wait to hear what they sound like when they get to ride the crest of musicality’s wave. Did I just type “musicality’s wave”? Good grief.
On 20 May 2010 at 10:33 am Jannie said,
…
Hey Dear Talon — thanks! I have been tweaking a few of the lines in my head since yesterday. Should I sing it a capella, or learn it wtih guitar before I post it? Hmmn, what to do, what to do… I think I’ll post it with guitar. Find a nice simple folk pattern, and let ‘er rip!
Hey Dear Snaggle — do you have 7-foot bamboo trees, you mean? I totally agree on the donuts line, great call!! I’m working on an alternate idea to make it more universal, maybe choosing the rhyme “view” and working backwards. LOVE your input — thanks! maybe in a live performance I could sing the donut part. Yep, BB’s soup had pickles, peanuts and parsnips in it!! ;0
Hey Dear Hip Chick!! I totally better start choosing my chords, a simple guitar picking pattern and post me singing this song!! Like — soon!! But it might take me a while to get it acceptable — my challenge is always keeping the vocal smooth and the same way I sing it a capella as I do on guitar. But I CAN do it!!! (I’ve done it before.)
And AWESOME to “meet” you!!! I’ll see you on your site soon, well relatively soon. 
Hey Dear Dustus — yeah, ain’t that the most amazing photo! The birth of stars. I wonder how far away that star scene is? At least 10 miles from here, I think.
Thanks for your visit. I LOVED your squirrel photo.
Hey Dear Daisy — thanks a bushel and a bunch! So many beautiful images of life, sky and nature to choose from, it was a no-brainer.
As I mentioned to others, I’ve tweaked some lines just a bit — you can hear the finished ones when I post me singing them. One day. In the not-too-incredibly-far-off future — relatively speaking. 
Hey Dear Adrenalynn!! Whoo-hoo! If this song can make you feel 1/100th of the wonder I felt seeing your mountain glacier look-out photos (yes, even by your iPhone) my work on this planet will be complete.
Seriously!!
Hey Dear Trisha — sit right beside me please on this never-ending trip, will ya?! Front row – centre all the way! The bother will be if you DON’T join me!
Hey Dear Tony!! Swell the ringing splashing plates in the wishing well — I oughta put in a line about that too!!
Yes, those “little uplifting moments” in the great wondrous whole comment is so NOT suck-upish, at all. In fact, I think you sum up exactly what I’m going for with this tunes’s musicality wave. And when I get the video posted of me actually singing it I hope you’ll hang 10 on the soundwaves, Dude!
xoxoxo
On 20 May 2010 at 10:36 am wordwand said,
awesome lyrics, well done.
On 20 May 2010 at 10:42 am Ana Goncalves said,
Jannie,
YEY *High fives*
What a truly beautiful song, and I can feel it carries so much love in it’s vibrancy.
Hope you are having a lovely day.
Jingle is indeed a truly compassionate soul! Always giving.
P.S-I love you too.
Ana Goncalves´s last blog ..A shade of depth
On 20 May 2010 at 11:40 am mm said,
You’ve got to figure out how to post an mp3! I’m liken the words though.
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
On 20 May 2010 at 12:16 pm Hilary said,
Hi Jannie … yea .. wonderful .. the stars .. now I see why the starry starry night edge is all around .. I love the lyrics and the fun referral to holey holey dunkin donuts .. choccy stars too .. everyone agrees .. it scores a 10 .. fantastic news .. lets sing it to the rooves, to the stars beyond .. and into the milky way .. and all the way to Kerrville festival .. to the top, spreading across the world .. sounds glorious .. enjoy yourself .. hugs to all Hilary xo
Hilary´s last blog ..Dumbarton and Corgarff Castles
On 20 May 2010 at 12:25 pm Tess The Bold Life said,
Jannie,
I love it and is the photo gonna be the new album cover??? Please pass the bubbly!
On 20 May 2010 at 12:43 pm william said,
not daft, awsome xx
william´s last blog ..DAILY POEM "JINGLE I BOW TO YOU"
On 20 May 2010 at 1:47 pm karyn said,
“Cha cha cha”… love it!
I want to hear the melody. I like the chorus.
On 20 May 2010 at 1:48 pm barky said,
I woof it too!
On 20 May 2010 at 2:05 pm Jingle said,
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/20/poetry-blog-community-award-from-adam/
another poetry award 4 u.
have a beautiful day!
I appreciate your uplifting comments and handsome spirits.
cheers!
On 20 May 2010 at 2:06 pm Jingle said,
Happy Thursday,
Love you positive energy and lovely friendship!
xoxo
On 20 May 2010 at 2:52 pm Wilma Ham said,
HI Jannie.
A great song is one who touches my heart and makes me dream. Yours did. I saw the diamonds, I saw the sleeping bag for two under the night sky, I even tasted the donuts. The way your song viewed the earth is magic and inspiring and touching. THAT is what I love songs doing and yours did it. I have no idea about lame lines and structure but I simply loved it. Let’s drink up the stars, YES!
Hugs Wilma
Wilma Ham´s last blog ..Money and water, you can think shortage or abundance.
On 20 May 2010 at 2:52 pm Paige said,
this made me very thirsty, now do I want hot or cold…maybe both
cann’t wait to hear it
Paige´s last blog ..Special Message
On 20 May 2010 at 4:09 pm Jannie said,
…
Hey Dear Wordwand — THANKS so much, I appreciate your kind comment. And always so great to see you here!!
Hey Dear Ana — oh yes, a lovely day! My little one has been picked up by another mom and whisked off to a playdate after school, I’m about to take a bath and try out my brand new Oil Of Olay trio of skin care, I’ve painted my toenails shiny light pink and I have a feeling my hair will curl just right today!
Thanks for your wonderful words (as usual.) And more high-fiving love right back at you!!
Hey Dear MM — I will TOTALLY post a video, yes!!! I worked a bit on the guitar today, but may have to consult with my amazing guitar teacher for clearer insight. I’ll keep you all posted of any and all developments!!
Hey Dear Hills — “Starry Starry Night, paint your palette blue and grey, look out on a summer’s day…” So… you LIKE the donut reference, as do others. Snaggle and I are thinking maybe it sould be replaced. hmmn, so many words. So much time!! (Oh oh, I almost typed “so mutch time” wot??)
yes!!!! Kerville 2011, here I come!! Hey, one can have goals, right, without sounding too egomaniacal? Yer darned tootin’! hey — more castles, I see from Comment Luv. I’ll pour me a nice cuppa before I get over to read that one, so I can sit and revel in each word. 
Hey Sweet Tess!! Umn, I wonder if I could get the rights to that starry photo? Probably! Not really sure what any of the artwork will be on the next CD. Maybe a photo of my old 3-legged goat, Miriam. May God rest her lovely little soul.
Hey, Dear William! Not Daft, whoooo-hoo!!!!!! Lack of daftness is 100% at the top of each of my song goals!
Karyn!! Did you pick up the cha-cha-cha probably won’t go in the final version of the tune??
Barks!! Meeeeeeow… Ahhhhh, you’re chasing me, but I’m already up a tree!
Jingle!! Oh. My Goodness! More awards and sweet sunshine friendship?? THANK YOU!!!!
You guys are the most amazing, wonderful, amazing, wonderful (did I mention amazing???) people!! 
Wilma!! Ooooo, to hear your words lifts my joyful soul even higher up. Thank you! S000o glad you could share the experience of the song, and have it make you dream. THAT is MY dream come true! What kind of donuts were in your head? I was thinking glazed.
Paige!! Yep, all this star drinking talk makes for a powerful thirst.
I’m guessing you made a giant pot of hibiscus tea, had half of it hot, and iced the rest?? 
xoxoxoxo
On 20 May 2010 at 5:05 pm Barbara Swafford said,
This reads like a red carpet song to me, Jannie.
It’s absolutely beautiful. Now, when do we get to hear you singing it?
On 20 May 2010 at 6:36 pm BK said,
I absolutely love the first shot of the star constellation although I have no idea what constellation it is. I was in the school astronomy club before and I enjoyed every night drinking up the stars.
Pardon me, I know nothing about song writing. But I like the lyrics of this little song you have written. The story inside the lyrics is just simply sweet, loving and also positive. “Watching the sunset”,”…share my sleeping bag for two”, “…children laugh and music plays” and it couldn’t be more true that the best is yet to come!
On 20 May 2010 at 8:18 pm oinky said,
wow..i really love your song lyrics
kampay! 
thanks for sharing it 
really cool 
On 20 May 2010 at 8:45 pm Evita said,
Hi Jannie
This song is wonderful!!!! I love the lyrics. I love the poetic feel to them. I love how you have developed the story line.
There is such a sweet picture dancing in my head as I read those lyrics. I mean people think about drinking this or that, but what could be more satisfying than drinking up the stars? That is the potion that I immediately think of as making our “dreams come true” – you know in that awesome sort of enchanted kind of way.
Now since you asked for all feedback, the only line I would consider changing is the “And the box of donuts, me ‘n you” maybe to something like “And this night of memories, me ‘n you” or something like that depending on your tune of course.
(Okay can you tell the health lover within me
Evita´s last blog ..Old Journeys End With New Priorities
On 20 May 2010 at 8:58 pm Patricia said,
Jannie,
It is beautiful and I am also excited about hearing the melody and you singing it – yes! I am with Tess break out the bubbly
The photograph is just amazing – star studded Fabulous…yes! Yes!
On 20 May 2010 at 9:14 pm Alice Audrey said,
I think the song moves nicely and solidifies the chorus just fine. With a country tune behind it, I wouldn’t object to any of the lines.
On 20 May 2010 at 9:42 pm brian miller said,
hey i can dig it…and two sleeping bags and a box of donuts sounds wonderful…and being the milky way, a milkshake to top it off…
brian miller´s last blog ..160 – for love & a good book
On 20 May 2010 at 10:48 pm Katherine said,
Let’s drink up the stars
A beverage for two that seems a pretty special thing. I like the box of donuts on the beach in a sleeping bag for two with angels above. I want to be one of the two. That sounds perfect.
Katherine´s last blog ..Ghost Rhythms
On 21 May 2010 at 8:28 am Dot said,
Did you take that picture of the stars? How? It’s awesome. As for the lyrics, the only thing, if I MUST be brutally honest, that bothers me is that I don’t like having every line rhyme. It makes it seem singsong-y to me. But otherwise, I like it. Even with the rhymes I like it.
On 21 May 2010 at 8:51 am LL Cool Joe said,
Congrats on the award! I’ve never been a poet, but you are.
Love the photo of the stars too.
Have a wonderful fun filled weekend!
LL Cool Joe´s last blog ..Things that make me go…
On 21 May 2010 at 10:52 am trisha said,
with greatest joy.
i dont mind if the journey never ends.
hugs,
p.s. hope the url worked this time.
On 21 May 2010 at 11:01 am Lane Savant said,
“As day is dancing down to dark”
Brutal, you ask for brutal?
Well, I think that the verb “dancing” is not quite right for this place in the song. I’d suggest a better choice but I can’t that is just the nature of brutality.
If you hadn’t mentioned brutal, I’d have to say that it is a very good song.
But you did ask for brutal.
Life can be cruel at times.
On 21 May 2010 at 11:09 am Lane Savant said,
O.K. here are some reasons.
The passage of day into night is a slow and majestic thing, a promenade, a stroll, an unfolding, slow and languid; “dancing” with it’s two short syllables suggests a more active pace.
I guess that’s only one reason, brutality again.
On 21 May 2010 at 12:02 pm bryan said,
Such an awesome song. Can’t wait to hear the lyrics.
I nominate this for a Jingle award.
-bryan
On 21 May 2010 at 1:48 pm Jannie said,
…
Hey, just popping in to say thanks for the newest comments and I’ll be answering them later!
Gonna go brush my hair and wash my face!
Maybe even brush my teeth!!
Thanks.
On 21 May 2010 at 4:01 pm Emmanuel Ibok said,
This is a beautiful lyrics which means a wonderful song to be. All you need is a good set of instrumentals to complement. Nice work in composing this. Well done…cheers!
Emmanuel Ibok´s last blog ..“Fantasy is stress-free”
On 21 May 2010 at 6:45 pm Luisa Doraz said,
Want to give VIOLA a group HUG?
http://dorazsays.wordpress.com/2010/05/21/viola-needs-our-hugs/
On 21 May 2010 at 7:49 pm Laura Lawless said,
Wow! Even without hearing the melody or music to this song, I can tell you, the words are awesome! It’s truly a poem in every sense of the word. Very well done!
I am a bit late on meeting the requirements for Jingle’s Poetry Rally Week. During the week, I work, and my time online is limited. I hope you all will forgive my tardiness and simply, my ignorance of the process. I will try to do better next time.
On 22 May 2010 at 12:30 am Jingle said,
Happy Saturday!
U Rock!
On 22 May 2010 at 12:40 am Jingle said,
http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/05/13/the-celebrate-poet-of-april-award-announcement-for-nomination/
24 hours to vote for 15 of your favorite poets,
many thanks!
u r the best!
On 22 May 2010 at 12:43 am Jeanne said,
Jannie,
I love, love, love the lyrics and that picture is gorgeous! I cannot wait to hear this song!!!!
Jeanne
xoxo
P.S. I hope Kelly’s arm is doing well!
On 22 May 2010 at 1:40 am mrs. ott said,
well for one, i love the song. it doesnt even need a melody; i kind of make up the music in my head as i read poems anyway. ; 0
i love the part about the sleeping bag. whats so romantic about that i dont know but sleeping bags and donuts really do it for me lol.
and second, thank you for reading my blog, commenting, and then sharing my link on your blog. i’m priveleged for sure.
On 22 May 2010 at 2:04 am shakira said,
Omg…you were right…I am so silly…thank you for the alert…
I must be making that mistake all over the place…
I love your new song…
very hip and may it be a HIT SONG !
hugs
shakira
On 22 May 2010 at 5:04 am Keith Davis said,
Hi Jannie
Worth coming over just to look at that awesome graphic.
The stars have such a connection with life…. the place where life began after that rather large bang.
Just to bring you fully up to date with the latest scientific research into the beginnings of the universe….
Scientists recently recorded a sound, which was made a few seconds after the Big Bang.
It’s not very clear but it souded something like… oooops!
And I really must try brushing my teeth. LOL
Keith Davis´s last blog ..Laugh and the world…
On 22 May 2010 at 8:31 am JoyChristin said,
Hi Jannie,
I love this song, love your lyrics…living on the boat, I am privileged to sleep with moonbeams shining through my hatch to my bed, almost every night. When I go to my backyard islands we sleep under a blanket of stars so clearly visible because there are no earthly lights to distract from them. I smile as I read your lyrics, because you wrote about some of the best parts of my life:)
On 22 May 2010 at 8:40 am Jannie said,
…
Hey, Barbara. Red carpet, eh? That sounds good to me. Singing it? As soon as I get it to my satisfaction, with guitar and all.
Hey, BK. That’s N90 in the Small Magellanic Cloud, one of the places where stars are born. Hubble took this! I love Hubble, as I’m sure you do too — you being an astronomy buff. I got to look at the moon once, through a university telescope. Fascinating! All the craters looked like droplets of water. And I look forward to sharing this tune in actualy singing form when it’s ready!
Hey, Oinky! Kampay star camping.
Thanks. I worked on the guitar a bit more yesterday, nothing concrete yet but it’s forming from the nubullae of my mind. Oh, and Oinky… 
Smiles are good!!
Hey, Evita — you are so positive — thank you. I love your constantly shiny attitude. That’s 2 against the donuts so far.
No, but I know what you mean. And I do have a couple of alternate lines brewing for that. So thank you. And I look forward to singing it for you!!
Hey, Patricia, loving that bubbly idea for sure! Of course, this stems literally from that Dom Perignon guy who tasted his product and pronounced “Come quickly — I’m drinking the stars!” God, I LOVE that Dom guy!!
Thanks, sweet Patricia!
Hey Alice Audrey! I totally can hear country chords to this. And funny — I envision it as more of a folk thing, but yesterday my friend Kalyani played kind of a rock beat to it, and much faster than I’d been playing. Always so much fun to hear different song interpretations.
Hey Brian! The donuts may get the axe.
But the sleeping bag for sure stays!! 
Hey Katherine! So awesome to see you here again! Thanks for your input. As I’ve menitoned to a few, the donuts may not stay in this. But the stars for sure will!! And the sleeping bag! And the angels dancing!!
Hey Dot! Yep — I went out on my back deck a few nights ago, and that’s what I captured with my iPhone! JK. JK!! Hubble took that out in area N90 of the Small Magellanic Cloud. Ahh yes, those sing-songy rhymes. Usually I have every other line rhyme in my tunes so this is a departure for me. I’ll see how it goes. And do appreciate your input. I LOVE hearing everyone’s points of view, always fascinating to hear what I never would’ve considered.
Hey LL Cool Joe — I could just dive into that cloud of stars. Of course it would be a rather loooog and perhaps chilly dive.
Well, as to being a poet — you know it. 
Hey, Trisha! Your link now works crisp and clean — like a champagne cork popping and leading me sweetly to your site upon clicking. Thanks!! i LOVE being able to get to you immediately,whoo-hoo. And may your starry journey never end!
Hey Lane!! Cool! You are right — dancing is generally taken to mean quick cavortation rather than a languid ballet, and especially here with that quick alliteration of “down” and “dark” with the “dancing”. Does sound like more of a jig, I never thought of that line in that way. I’ll pay closer attention to it in melody line there, which I have a tentative one, but not married to yet. Ah come on — is that as brutal as you get??
Hey Bryan! Oh my goodness, a nonination? You are too kind. THANKS! And too kind with your words. What shall I do with you? Singing coming as soon as I get it all together!!
Hey Emmanuel! Thanks a lot. I do have most of the melody in place and now am working on the guitar to set it all off, thinking some kind of picking pattern will be nice, gonna listen to some on YouTube, see what might be a nice musical bed for my melody. Whoo-hoo!!!!
Hey Luisa!! That was sooooo sweet and kind of you to put up that post for Viola. She was so touched by it, which in turn touched me and brought tears to my eyes. You rock from the heart. Thank you!
Laura Lawless!!! Welcome to very much to our little on-going fun fest here. Just pleased as punch you popped in — hey there’s some wicked alliteration for ya!
Your encouraging words are more than kind and uplifting. Of course, I will “forgive” your poetry rally tardiness! 
I tend to be a little tardy wiht it, myself bytimes. Just awesome to meet you, Laura! I hope — no make that — I KNOW we will meet soon again!
Hey Jingle!! Wow, 24 hours to vote??? I better get hopping on that!
Thanks for letting me know. Thanks for hosting the Poetry Rally. Thaks for your other posts. Thanks for your good optimism. Thanks for your insight. Thanks for your hours and hours of work. And Happy Saturday to you too!!!
Hey, Jeanne!! I’ve sure been thinking about you, thinking about the e-mails I still have to answer of yours, thinking about all you do. (Thinking about the Government, thinking about The Law… Words to a Bob Dylan song. Whoops, I digress.)
Where were we?? Oh yes… you’re awesome!! Kelly? She is doing pretty darned good, considering. She CRACKED ME UP last night, totally cleaned and organized her bedroom — even swept the floor!! Put a whole bunch of things she no longer wants on her shelves in 2 big bins, and had me carry them out. Arranged all the stuff she does like, all nicely. What a kid!!! Shse goes in this Thursday to, apparently, get X-Rays, getthat cast off and get another whole new one on. That’s what they said on her visit on the 6th. So, we’ll just take it as it comes. She’s so sweet and is in great spirits. Thanks for asking!!!
Hey Mrs Ott!! Firstly, are you really in Alaska?? Alaska seems like a big wild and wonderful dream to me. Were you born there? But enough of that! WELCOME!! How supremely awesome you chose to pop by and comment. Thank you!! And Mrs Ott… I is I , Jannie Funster who is the hubly priviledged party in this blogging exchange. Thank you!
Hey Shakira!! Yay, there you are with a fixed link, now Im so happy to zip right over to you with one click of a mouse!! Ah, don’t worry — I’ve done that on tons of sites, made typos in my log-in. And from my iPhone I’ve set my name as Jannie “Funstet.” Silly me!
Hey Keith!! AWESOME to see you again!! Your Big Bang “whoops” has got me chuckling. Okay, so what made the Big Bang. And it’s all reversing itself now, right? BOGGLES this little mind. Oh — the teeth brushing — I did take the plunge and did it. What a minty-fresh experience. Did you try it?? And what did you think??
On 22 May 2010 at 8:48 am Jannie said,
…
Hey JoyCristin!! I see you slipped in there while I was typing my above comment.
BIG welcomes to you!!
I just love hearing how this song resonated with you. When I’m home at Mom & Dad’s in Canada we are so far from any city and the stars just seem to go on FOREVER (well, they DO.) But unobscured by man-made light it is just AMAZING how the stars shine — and the sheer volume of them.
These lyrics are about some of the best parts of my life too, childhood memories and things I love — so glad I could share.
Must be a DREAM to live on a boat. I’ll enjoy hearing more about that!!
Now, to that guitar work on the song…….
xoxoxo
On 22 May 2010 at 9:59 am Lane Savant said,
O.K. Every fifth line has “dancing” in it. This creates a form of rhythm which is good and seems in a way to be the soul of the song. Changing the first dance reference might weaken the effect.
Maybe three different kind of dance.
Hmmm reading closer, I wonder if maybe 1 and 2 could be switched, starting on the beach and moving to the sky.
Anyway. What do I know?
Stars in Alaska on a winter night in the field are a fantastic sight. You really feel as if you could fall off the planet into them.
On 22 May 2010 at 10:13 am Deanna Schrayer said,
Hi Jannie,
I don’t write poetry or songs, and I admire anyone who can. It’s such a meticulous talent and should be revered! So I can’t offer critique, but I can say this is beautiful!
My favorite line(s): “Let’s drink it up, let’s drink it in – This gift of life upon our skin”. That evokes such a gorgeous image!
Thanks so much for sharing this lovely work!
Deanna Schrayer´s last blog ..Get ready!
On 22 May 2010 at 12:03 pm Glenn Buttkus said,
Wow, our starry-eyed Texas girl has created a maelstrom of comments with her wonderful song-poem.
As you know, I have included song lyrics on my blog for years, feeling that yes, they are a form of poetics, and yours is a fine example of how words can sing; that your fusion of words and music go on to create something in a higher plane. I knew some musicians once, and showed them some of my poetry; Asking them if they could write some music to lay behind some of my poems. “Glenn, we don’t find any music in your poetry.” was finally their response. I felt as if hornets were attacking me. Damn, that was 40 years ago, and to this day I hope they were wrong. Good lyrics, like yours, need a rhyme scheme. I hate it when a lyrics writer strains to find the rhyme and the line comes off as lame. Lane, that sage Savant, was more right the second comment. Dancing is a through line for this song, these lyrics. I like the line /as day is dancing down to dark/. Maybe Lane never heard of a “slow dance”. To his credit, his last two lines were a prose poem for sure. The line has beauty both in its imagery an alliteration. Your aa/bb line rhyming scheme works well, for it almost lets us hear your guitar, a piano, a harmonica, a flute in the music of your mind. There are dances of sorrow and lament, but your “dances” between the dark and diamonds and us are joyful, part of the celebration of life that is Jannie Funster, the mission for we all, the denizens of Funsterville. And ever the optimist, you conclude with /and know the best is yet to come/ echoing those famous lines….come hold my hand and grow old with me, for the best is yet to come. We wait like impatient children out here for the next music CD of yours, and as we listen to LET’S DRINK UP THE STARS, we will feel that twinge in our chests as we remember the passionate heartfelt preview you gave us this day.
Glenn Buttkus´s last blog ..Stars in Alaska
On 22 May 2010 at 12:41 pm cinderkeys said,
I also like “As day is dancing down to dark.” It’s a good sign when when a line is so much fun to say, and you don’t even know the melody yet.
Song experts say each verse should advance the “story” while solidifying the chorus more each time …
I don’t know about the second verse, but the third verse does. Then again, I think that’s fine, to have two verses sort of on the same level of intensity before bumping it up.
If everybody listened to the songwriting experts all the time, every song would be the same.
Other than that, I wanna hear the melody.
cinderkeys´s last blog ..Speak of the devil
On 22 May 2010 at 1:09 pm Jannie said,
…
Hey Lane!! Yeah, I locked myself into that dancing part, almost thought of highlighting all 3 “dancings” in blue before I published this post. Hey, I will give thought to changing up the order of those 2 first verses — see how it feels. And what do you know? WHAT DO YOU KNOW???? TONS and tons and tons of stuff, and a lot of it fun and wildly Lane-esque!!
Hey Deanna!! Welcome — thanks for following me back here from the wild and wonderful blogosphere! Just awesome to have you here today!! And hey, you know what I say — more people listen to and enjoy music than write it, so the magic of music and input of any human is welcome! It’s funny, we kind of instinctively know what we like. Ahh, I like that line too — it was one I threw in quickly to get the rhyme going
Thank YOU — for being here.
Hey Glenn!! What a crappy thing to say to another human being — no music in your poetry, even if it was 40 years ago. Yet… there is a certain musicality to sung words, so we do have to take that into account. Well… please don’t hold your breath for that second CD, it could be as long as a 2-year process from this point, but I will for sure keep you all updated! For now, I’m going to concentrate on getting my best 2 new tunes polished and ready for performing. I LOVE your idea for the holding-hands part. I did actually think about a line with hand holding, and still have not ruled it out. Still some tweaks to go!! Oh, and when you hear how rhythmically different the chorus is from the song, you’ll see a nice contrast. Kalyani and I were singing and playing it yesterday andI thought I was video-taping it with my iPhone — but was not, bummer Oh well….
Hey Cinder — guess what?? In my next – or second-to-next post I will be featuring your ME/CFS Phoenix Rising. It’s a great thing you’re involved with and I’d like to help promote it a bit. Wonderful ideas, thanks! I did think about the scenes and story progression, and tried to gear it to the first verse maybe being childhood, second, the “falling in love” thing.
And thirdly, more of a broader kind of love — might rework the 3rd verse. yeah — the melody!!! May I settle on it for those 5th and 6th lines! And move on with it. 
Later, all!
xoxoxo
On 22 May 2010 at 1:49 pm cinderkeys said,
Hey, thanks! I’ll tell the Phoenix Rising forum members when you’ve put that up.
cinderkeys´s last blog ..Speak of the devil
On 22 May 2010 at 1:59 pm Jannie said,
…
Cinder — you bet!!
xo
On 22 May 2010 at 2:47 pm Mia @ Finding Balance said,
I like the lyrics. Story. To me it’s a story of spending time with someone you love and appreciating all that life has to offer…it’s a big universe out there.
On 23 May 2010 at 9:52 am Damien Riley said,
Liked your lyrics. I think the idea of accepting things is really clear in the metaphor “drink it in.”
On 23 May 2010 at 4:42 pm Jannie said,
…
Hey, Sweet Mia — yes, that’s it — appreciating all the amazingly great stuff there is to enjoy!
Damien, Hey! Acceptance, yes, that is what happiness is. Accepting and appreciating. THANKS for popping by –super!!
xoxo
On 23 May 2010 at 11:51 pm Splattman said,
Hi Jannie,
I’m glad you commented on my post, otherwise I may not have discovered your blog…
This is a very sweet song, and most of observations have been expressed by earlier comments (although I must admit, I did not read them all), I have just one question.
What does “Let’s drink up the stars and fly away” mean to you on a practical level, I mean the imagery is beautiful, I was just wondering if the phrasing held any special meaning to you. As dancing is a theme that is already prevalent in your poem/song, I would think one could just as easily “Dance through the stars”…
Just a curiosity, great song in all respects!
Splattman´s last blog ..Babysitting and a change of perspective…! and a new poem: How I began to live
On 24 May 2010 at 10:11 pm Jannie said,
…
Splattman! Thanks. I’m tapping laboriously with phone. Wonderful comment! I will return to your words tomorrow.
xo
On 25 May 2010 at 8:58 am Jannie said,
…
Hey again, Splattman. I think your comment was very very helpful. WHY write the song in the first place? To make a point about something. So… I need to think very hard about what my point is, and how each line in the song ties into that! Thank you.
xo
On 25 May 2010 at 5:13 pm Thomma Lyn said,
Jannie, I’m sorry I’m late, but I just wanted to say I love these lyrics. I love their spirit, their imagery, and your third verse works wonderfully for me, with “the best is yet to come.”
Can’t wait to hear the melody!
xoxoxoxo
On 25 May 2010 at 6:17 pm Jannie said,
…
Hey Thomma Lyn — YOU are NEVER late, and always add to any blog commenting party whenever you breeze in on your wings of fuschia and ferns. Hey, those just popped into my mind!!
I think this one still needs melody work and some more lyric tweaking! I’m getting such great input in these comments! And love the suggestions! And sweetness that flows liek honey from all your hearts to mine!
Hey, I’m poetic tonight eh??
xooxoxoxoxoxo
On 25 May 2010 at 10:35 pm Jeanne said,
Jannie,
Good luck with Kelly’s x-rays!
Jeanne
On 26 May 2010 at 9:27 am Jannie said,
…
Hey, Jeanne! Yep, tomorrow for the follow-up visit. Supposedly she gets this cast off and it’s replaces with a brand- y new one. We’ll see what the pros have to say! I’m sure she’s healing great!
How’s the treehouse? Any progress from my comment one minute ago on the second entryway post??
Xoxo
On 27 May 2010 at 5:46 pm kelly said,
heey mom,i like the stars picture its pretty. but i thing you could put a toaster in the middle.
hehe,wel ig2g noe byee!!
On 10 June 2010 at 4:32 pm Jannie said,
Hey gorgeous sweet Kelly! thanks. A toaster, eh??
Oh I get it!! The brave little toaster!!
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On 8 July 2010 at 10:54 pm Guitar-Tab-Songs said,
Sounds good! I love the bamboo picture. It reminds me of college. We had a “bamboo garden” on our campus and it was the local hangout for myself and my friends!