Crazy Bananas: Funny Keyword Searches, 8

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 13 June 2010 @ 12:02 AM 33 Comments

Crazy_bananas

What were some of the more notable searches in March, April and May that landed people on this site?

Funny you should ask!

My favorites…

QUESTIONS
–is there a national wedgie day?
–does glenn close play the ukulele?
–are mis-matched flip flops in style?
–what happened on May 10, 1970?
–where do I find green beer in austin?
–why do fire ants exist? i hate fire ants.
–is being a parent a constant nightmare?
–who is the constipated blogger from Dallas?
–how many bananas can I eat before I go crazy?

POEMS
–a poem to make my woman take out the trash
–dog surviving a hurricane poem
–peeing your pants poem
–poem about an ant bite on my pinky toe

ASSORTED BIZZARRO
–hi my name is austin and i love to go out and ride dirt bikes and go fishing so far my key board is working great, thats why im typing this
–my ghast has been truly flabbered
–i dont need any of your sassy frass
–my robot suit is squeeking
–medicare part d for dummies
–fun things to do with an empty ballroom
— a good recipe for donut holes
–!__ .. __! ….!..! love you! ….!..! 03!! __ !..!__ !______!”
–broken arm wine
–wearing pantyhose and sneezing

That’s it!

(and that’s my banana girl above when she was 5.)

xoxox

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  • 1

    On 13 June 2010 at 12:21 am

    Davina said, 

    OMG…. LOL… I can’t believe these! 😀 Maybe the constipated blogger should declare National Wedgie Day. Err… “my robot suit is squeeking”? What is this world coming to? Thanks for the chuckle.

  • 2

    On 13 June 2010 at 3:00 am

    JoyChristin said, 

    I don’t know….I think Austin deserves some kind of prize…what could you call it though???? Because really when his key board is not working great then he’s out riding dirt bikes, right *grin*
    I needed a smile though, so thank you for sharing..
    And *Awe-some* banana girl :)
    .-= JoyChristin´s last blog ..Fearless Fun Friday: Celebrate! =-.

  • 3

    On 13 June 2010 at 3:10 am

    Hilary said, 

    Hi jannie .. I don’t know how you find these .. where?? & why??? and how???

    They are amazing – and just so funny to think about .. no wonder someone said to me the other day ..what a different space I frequent on the net – I don’t know where he’d be .. but somewhere serious & obviously not the blogosphere!

    Love Kelly’s pic .. coconut shies .. such fun .. do you have those?

    Enjoy Sunday .. love the gingham .. bye .. xoxo Hilary
    .-= Hilary´s last blog ..Flora and fauna of Kirstenbosch Botanical Gardens – a simple sample .. =-.

  • 4

    On 13 June 2010 at 4:32 am

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    Crazy coconuts Banannie Jannie! Wonderful Kelly pic!
    Oh goody- I needed a good laugh today!
    “My robot suit is squeaking” just really hit my funnybone for some reason!
    .-= SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Cloudy Surprizes =-.

  • 5

    On 13 June 2010 at 5:43 am

    Lance said, 

    Hey Jannie,
    “…is being a parent a constant nightmare”…
    Imagine if this person also happened to live on Elm Street!!

    And I see you keep track of where constipated bloggers live. Wow, that’s impressive (and obviously such great information to be able to share!).

    The banana girl is pretty cute…there in the produce section!

    Lance
    P.S. I ate two bananas yesterday. I think that may have tipped the “crazy” scale for me…

  • 6

    On 13 June 2010 at 7:17 am

    Daisy said, 

    HA HA HA! What a great collection this time around. Kind of makes you fear for mankind, doesn’t it? HA! 😀
    .-= Daisy´s last blog ..Food From A to Z — T is for Toast =-.

  • 7

    On 13 June 2010 at 8:41 am

    Natalia said, 

    Wow! Those are funny and bizarre! :) Aw coconut ear girl is a cutie! :)
    .-= Natalia´s last blog ..Weigh in Saturday and Goal Review =-.

  • 8

    On 13 June 2010 at 9:49 am

    Talon said, 

    “broken arm wine” would definitely dull the pain – lol!

    It must be soooo annoying to deal with a squeaky robot suit!

    Can you imagine having the distinction of being THE constipated blogger from Dallas!

    Loved these! Too funny!
    .-= Talon´s last blog ..Fine day for a meme… =-.

  • 9

    On 13 June 2010 at 10:10 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hi Davina — otherwise known as NUMBER ONE!! :) I think it may have been BB that searched that robot suit squeeking — I’ve heard him working in his lab at night, making robotic and squeaking sounds. And of course — there is the spelling of “squeeking.” Could it be he?? :)

    Hi JoyChristin — otherwise known as NUMBER TWO. WAIT!!! That does NOT sound right at all. :) :) Dear “Second” Number One… Yes, much better. I wish I could find that Austin to let him know he has brought us such amusement. :) Who oh who, and where of where could he be? And how old do you think he is? 16? 96? :) SO glad I could bring you a smile. I’ve been needing one lately too — and your visit here did it!!!

    My darling Lovely Hilary! Welcome back, always a highlight to have you pop in. So is that some guy who does not go on the Internet? If so, oh he does miss so much. I think. If I didi not have to Internet I think I’d have to move to a deserted island, eat bananas, cocoanut and crab all day long and develop a killer tan!!! :) Coconut shies? I think I’ll have to Google that! Shy coconot? OR some kind of a disease? Yes — I LOVE the gingham too! Makes me think the bananas are on a picnic outing. Getting wuite happy with the array of GIF backgrounds I’ve collected. And now starting a collection of BB in his differing moods and moments, as per my header. :)

    Snaggle! My one and only Snaggle whom I happened to crash the blog of so many moons ago now and it was one of the best crashes of my life!! Yes, I needed a smile and a laugh too. The past couple days I’ve had a nasty allergy , stuffy, sneezy, dopey, droopy. But having posted this I feel much better in spirit. I All sunshiney now!! Ahhh, yes my coconut banana kid in that dress she wore out. :)

    Lance! A Parent Nightmare on Elm Street. “Apparent” Nightmare? Apparently you continue to be quite a bit of a funster yourself. And I still need to pick a title for that Watermelon Tree House Day! But back to this post… What? Oh yes. Yes, I do try to keep track of the constipated bloggers and check on on their condition – always fun to cheer them on to success. :) And Lance tell The Title Guy 10 bananas a day will get his arms in gear for wrestling Glenn!!!

    Hey Daisy What Art A Constant Ray Of Sunshine! The larger my body of posts grows the more searches people find me by. In may alone I had 788 searches to read through, most for pansy poems, finding a good bra, making bras for goats, etc… so I had a lot to choose from and settled on those with greatest potential universal funny appeal. And Daisy… no matter how I may fear for mankind, every visit of yours here takes that fear away ten-fold!

    Hey Gorgeous and sand-castle making Natalia!! Arent’ they fun?? Takes me a long time now to read through all the searches and put up the best ones, but hearing these give you a smile makes it Totally Worth The Effort!! And I shall endeavor to always keep up with these. Maybe as my body of work grows I’ll have enough kooky searches to put up one of these posts a month!! You never know. :)

    Hey Wonderful, talented, wise Talon. You know those funny wines like Fat Bastard and Cat’s Pee On A Gooseberry Bush (don’t think I’d sip the latter with a 200 foot straw…) I envision Broken Arm Wine as one of those kooky names. :) Well, once in a blue blue moon I may qualify as THE most constipated blogger from Austin. :) But that was wasy TMI!!! :) Oh gotta go now, my robot suit is starting to squeak, gotta get out my 3-in-1 oil!! :)

    xoxoxoxoxoxo

  • 10

    On 13 June 2010 at 10:57 am

    william said, 

    lol u always make me laugh and the pics are always superb xx
    .-= william´s last blog ..DAILY POEM "BOISTEROUS SCHOOL DAYS" =-.

  • 11

    On 13 June 2010 at 11:30 am

    Anthony North said, 

    Search results never cease to amaze me. They were great :-)
    .-= Anthony North´s last blog ..VICTORS =-.

  • 12

    On 13 June 2010 at 11:55 am

    SuziCate said, 

    Love that coconut-ears banana picture, she is so adorable!
    .-= SuziCate´s last blog ..Love Is In The Air =-.

  • 13

    On 13 June 2010 at 12:10 pm

    brian miller said, 

    haha. i may have to give a few of these a try…smiles. coconuts or bananas…i have been accused of both at times…smiles. nice pic!
    .-= brian miller´s last blog ..160 – backseat sparking =-.

  • 14

    On 13 June 2010 at 2:48 pm

    Barbara Swafford said, 

    Hi Jannie,

    Great picture to go along with the funny search terms.

    Is there a national wedgie day? If not, maybe you’ll need to start one, AND…your Wedgie Wedding song could be the theme song. Yeah? :)

  • 15

    On 13 June 2010 at 4:24 pm

    Alice Audrey said, 

    You get such great searches! All I get are single words and boring stuff.

  • 16

    On 14 June 2010 at 6:28 am

    sheila said, 

    LOL on the assorted bizzaro! (did I spell that wrong?) Especially the first one. WHAT??????????

    Cute Kelly!

  • 17

    On 14 June 2010 at 6:28 am

    sheila said, 

    OH! Look at you, you put a voting button link on your site for me! Aw! That is so awesomely sweet!!!!!!! Thanks!

  • 18

    On 14 June 2010 at 7:12 am

    Jannie said, 

    William, why did I start suddendly in my head singing “You Are My Sunshine” just now. But I digress. Thank you.

    Hey Anthony — glad you enjoyed! I think my fav is the one by Austin.

    Hey Suzicate, yep one of my fav pics of her in a grocery store. And I’ve actually taken more than a few there.

    Hey Brian — let’s all write “peeing yur pants” poems. :)

    Hey Barbara — I here by proclaim June 14th as National Wedgie Day!

    Hey Alice Audrey — give yourself time, they will start appearing.

    Hey Sheila — funny, I just took the button down, yesterday having been the last day to vote and all, then saw your comment. :) And I think I’m going back to bed!

    xoxxoxoxxoo

  • 19

    On 14 June 2010 at 7:12 am

    Lynn said, 

    Cute little coconut girl!

    My favorite keyword search is “–a poem to make my woman take out the trash”. Just imagine some guy sitting down to his computer and typing that into Google. How could I get her to take out the trash so I don’t have to? Maybe if I read her a good poem. That’s it.

    :)

  • 20

    On 14 June 2010 at 9:32 am

    Jingle said, 

    COCONUTS FOR KELLY’S EARS,
    U R FREAKING FUNNY, MY DEAR…
    LOVE THE COLOR OF BANANAS,
    BUT NEVER ALLOW MYSELF GO BANANAS.

    LOVELY POST,
    U ROCK!

    XOXO

  • 21

    On 14 June 2010 at 11:59 am

    Jingle said, 

    http://jingleyanqiu.wordpress.com/2010/06/13/thursday-poets-rally-week-22-poetry-awards-more/

    three poetry awards,
    4 general awards…
    Enjoy the moment.
    Thank you for the contribution on poetry..

  • 22

    On 14 June 2010 at 1:32 pm

    Paige said, 

    thank goodness i’m not the only one with a squeaky robot suit! when I wear it I almost always forget to cary the wd40 in the pocket. this one time I used too much wd and it looked like I peed my pants so I wrote a poem about it and then the oil sorta made all the ink get wishy washy and melted the paper. I sure wish I could rember what the poem was, crap I forgot to hit record
    .-= Paige´s last blog ..Face it =-.

  • 23

    On 14 June 2010 at 4:35 pm

    Patricia said, 

    Oh very funny indeed Thank you for the laugh I still can not find these things on my dashboard… Lucky you! xxoo

  • 24

    On 14 June 2010 at 7:12 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Dearest Lynn Of The Sunshine Valley… Yes, I did like that photo of that cute little girl who’s out at VBS at the momemt. I like to think of that couple as them speaking back and forth a lot in poems, like he also “pems her” into washing the dishes and sweeping the floor. :) Just silly.

    Dearest Jingle Of The Golden Island Chain… Seeing Kelly in her cocanut ears up there reminds me Blue Bunny might look nice in those too. Or maybe some Princess Leia ears for him. And I see that you’ve commented here a few times in a row. How lovely to hear yur string of Jingle Bells on my blog today. Thanks! And thank you for YOUR contribution on poetry which does enlighten and brighten the world. :)

    Dearest Paige From The Far-Off and Faeried Hills… your comment made me laugh when I first read it earlier today, and has cracked me up ever longer and deeper on second read. I think you ought not worry about where your original WD40-soaked poem is. It couldn’t have been any better or funnier than the one you just left as a comment. Where do yu usually wear yur robot suit? And how often do you don it? Did you make it yourself? :)

    Dearest Patricia From The Majestic Forest… Do you mean your Dashboard for your WP blog? Or when you’re actually in your Google Analytics Account? If it’s Google, please let me know and I’ll gladly walk you through the steps of how to get to the list of search terms — I culd even guide you over the phone on it! As long as you have Google Analytics up and running on your site, and know your password — we’ll be in like gin. If gin is “in” or ever has been. Hey — rhymes! I actually do not like gin at all. But a nice lager r 2 will do me fine when I’m in the mood.

    xoxoxoxoxo

  • 25

    On 14 June 2010 at 8:15 pm

    robbi said, 

    eye wunce had a frind
    hoo wud pretind
    her hed wos complete
    wif coconut ears,
    but this wuz jutsa trick
    coz we all saw the pic,
    an’ Tweeted her Mom
    to stop all the tears

  • 26

    On 15 June 2010 at 12:30 am

    J.D. Meier said, 

    This brings back memories. My Mom said I poured a bucket of red ants on my head when I was a kid. I know *hate* is a strong word, but I’m not a fan of those little buggers :)
    .-= J.D. Meier´s last blog ..3 Take Aways from The Karate Kid =-.

  • 27

    On 15 June 2010 at 2:36 am

    Justin Dupre said, 

    Great search on the keywords! Your daughter is adorable. I like how your site make me feel young again!

  • 28

    On 15 June 2010 at 7:36 am

    dustus said, 

    That’s hilarious what some people have searched to land on your site. For me, the common odd searches to find my blog are variations of the phrase “author with personality quirks”… Go figure! lol.

  • 29

    On 15 June 2010 at 9:44 am

    Glenn Buttkus said, 

    Coming in late on this one, stayed home yesterday and celebrated my birthday. It is amazing how you find or key into these zanny searches.
    1. National wedgie day could be a Jannie song soon.
    2. Yes Glenn Close does play the ukulele, but not as cool or as good as Jannie, and whatever happened to the ukulele madness songs we all contributed to?
    3. Mis-matched flip flops are fun, but you walk bowlegged and pigeon toed.
    4. May 10, 1970 I was accepted into the UofW Professional Acting Training Program, only later in 1978 to give up acting for teaching, and you know the rest of the story.
    5. There must be some Irish pubs in Austin, and if so, they will serve green beer on a regular basis.
    6. Fire ants were put here by our creator to accompany hornets, wasps, and stinging insects of all kinds, just to piss us off.
    7. Being a parent is not a constant nightmare, it just seems that way when your daughter(s) turn 14.
    8. The Constipated Blogger from Dallas had a date with the Audacious Blogger from Austin, and they both went steady with the Zanny Blogger from Zanzibar.
    9. I believe the number is 37 bananas, but no worries cuz you get diarreha at 25 of them, and the mental illness is averted.
    10. I love the allkindsofpoems–the one to make my woman take out the trash is silly since taking out the trash is a manly chore, enit? The dog surviving a hurricane is small potatoes compared to the one about the hairball surviving a hurricane or the turtle surviving a tornado or the mutt that survived a mudslide–the peeing in your pants poem is reminescent of the ballad of the unzipped flies, the load in your britches, or the wipe your nose on your bra strap poems. And you could write reams about ant bites and the lovely quality of the swelling and itching, right?
    11. I wonder if austin lives in Austin? I have a grandson named Austin Gunner Hahn, and he is a cutie, but does not type yet. He is two years old.
    12. Once the ghast is flabbered, it is time for the wompus to be kattied.
    13. We all adore the sassy frass daily from blue bunny.
    14. All robot suits squeak, or course, and even Iron Man has figured out how to pee in his suit, and refilter it.
    15. Medicare all parts are confusing as hell. Take it from an old person like myself.
    16. Empty ballrooms can become skating rinks, horse barns, or model train conventions.
    17. Donut holes are best with dark beer.
    18. Of course, we all love you; that is a given, daily, and forever.
    19. Broken Arm Wine is only surpased by Busted Nose Beer or Vacuum Cleaner Vodka or Giant’s Toenail Gin.
    20. I can’t help but sneeze while wearing pantyhose; there’s no zipper on them.
    .-= Glenn Buttkus´s last blog ..Ode to Jerry in Lorca’s Mood =-.

  • 30

    On 15 June 2010 at 1:53 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Dearest Robbi from the Green Fields Of Glory — I see fairies afoot, as I thought of you about manybe an hour before you left that comment. Hope you are well, I shall have to go back into my olde comments to find you, as your link does not work as you left it. :) Welcome back, with poem — ALL appreciated!! Are you tweeting now?? :)

    Dearest J.D. from the Motorycle Highways Of Yonder — really weird you mention ants. I woke up in the middle of last night thinking a mosquito had bitten both my ankles, but they kept stinging waaaay bad, so I knew it had been a fireant attack. But a little ice on for a minute took the sting totally away! And wow — you must’ve been doing some major red ant collecting to end up with a bucket full!! :)

    Dearest Justin from the Valley Of Refound Youth — you already look pretty young to me! Or is that an old old old photo on your gravatar?? Well, since I’m never growing up… this site should keep you ypung too. Thanks for the visit. Hope you’ll pop in again.

    Dearest Dustus from the Sphere Of Poetic Photos & More… the longer yu keep blgging, the more you’ll get weird searches, I think it’s from your blg’s body or work expanding and offering increased weird potential to searchers!! Sounds like you’re on your way even more than the last time I posted these!!

    Oh. My. Goodness. Glenn you have outdone yourself yet again. :) Happy belated bithday. And you must be retiring soon. I was all set to write you must be graduating soon — but retiring is a sort of graduation, wot?? LOL on so many you left — numbers 9, 10, 12, 15, 17, 19, 20. YOU ARE SOOOOOO FUNNY!! Thansk for the grins. And be careful with those panty hose — they can take on a life and personality of their own and go Chucky-like, especially with age.

    xoxoxoxoxo

  • 31

    On 15 June 2010 at 2:03 pm

    Lane Savant said, 

    Life gets embarrassing
    when old age comes around
    First you forget to pull your zipper up
    Then you forget to pull it down.

  • 32

    On 16 June 2010 at 8:23 am

    Tony Single said, 

    Jannie, you are so RANDOM! I love it! I aspire to be as random as you are some day! I really do! :)

    By the way, I happen to know why fire ants exist. I had something to do with it, but I’m not going to tell how. Let’s just say that I’m evil incarnate and that they respond only to my voice…

  • 33

    On 16 June 2010 at 1:17 pm

    Jannie said, 

    AWEWOME pants peeing poem, Lane!! :) A+ for effort.

    TONY!! You call those fire ants OFF!! :) :)

    xoxo

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