“Spirit!” Funny Keyword Searches — Summer 2010
Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 14 September 2010 @ 11:15 AM 42 Comments
Searches that landed folks in Funstertown, as per my Google Analytics report.
JUNE
– best style for ugly guy
– cute little feet
– friday night activities for a guy with a broken arm
– gymnast pants on fire
– handsome men with chainsaws
– how many people broke their arm today (I don’t know, but so far I’ve no reports Kelly has. Knock on wood.)
– how to walk around with a wedgie all day
– why did my blueberries turn fuzzy
JULY
– after my morning coffee and some cookies i fall very fast aleep why?
– fun grocery stores
– japanese poltergeists
– magic perfect butt
– microscopic sidewalk bugs
– naked guy fishing
– satan’s pillow
– stay out of my wine doll
– what’s the best way to get 30 penguins in my igloo?*
– will ants attack chapstick?
AUGUST
– beware the blue beam
– can i drive my snowmobile on grass (no, not even on beer or wine — safety first!)
– dont let the bed bite you
– farm girl biceps
– going to austin to get me some pants
– i have 61 ant bites on my feet
– i have done good things lately
– i love jannie (ahhhh, I love you too!)
– naked mailman
– should I pratice guitar at 4 in the morning?
Photos taken in Canada by my beautiful sister at Mom & Dad’s farm deeded to our wild and happy Irish ancestors in 1830.
Posted with love by Jannie of the funstering fields and forests of frolic and fame.
xoxoxoxo
P.S. That woodpile of Dad’s? Mom married her handsome chainsaw guy 51 years ago!!
P.P.S. My American friends – 11/08/2006 means 11th August, 2006, not November 8th, 2006.
P.P.P.S. The littler girl is Kelly – then age 4, the bigger one my niece, Alyssa then age 6.
Whoo-hoo.
xoxooxx
*This refers to Clup Penguin, of course.
P.P.P.P.S. Jannie loves you.
On 14 September 2010 at 11:33 am Erin Prais-Hintz said,
HA! That is hiLARious! How do I get that for my blog. That is a great conversation opener. Maybe you need to do more posts on things like Farm Girl Biceps, Satan’s pillow and Gymnast Pants on Fire. There is certainly a demand. But I kind of like the I love Jannie posts the best. Because I do. Love Jannie that is.
You made me snort today. Thanks for that!
Enjoy the day!
Erin
.-= Erin Prais-Hintz´s last blog ..Its About Time =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 1:10 pm Glenn Buttkus said,
BB’s got the Pioneer chain saw, and the appropriate
bright yellow ear plugs. You are so versatile for a
bunny there blue one.
As per usual, your family photos of your Dad
and the Pea at four are wonderful!
The keyword searches are still off the hook too.
Will return later perhaps and comment on some
to them.
.-= Glenn Buttkus´s last blog ..There Are Moments =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 1:17 pm Lane Savant said,
First impression of the picture was that Kelly had sawed that pile of wood.
First impressions in the morning oft take odd dimensions.
On 14 September 2010 at 2:17 pm vered | blogger for hire said,
Those searches are a constant source of entertainment, aren’t they?
On 14 September 2010 at 2:28 pm William Manson said,
looks like fun, for the adult lol
On 14 September 2010 at 2:37 pm joaquin said,
wow – june’s # 4 just makes me sad. i hope he met up with july’s # 5 and they did some of august’s # 2. then again, maybe that’s why there’s june’s # 4.
always awesome, these interwebs – thanks for sharing!
.-= joaquin´s last blog ..Cosmosis =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 3:12 pm desk49 said,
I do think someone forget the snow.
Then I think Four wheelers are only good if the snow is not to deep.
.-= desk49´s last blog ..Missing- Short Story Page 5 =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 3:14 pm Jannie said,
Yo, Erin! You can sign up for Google Analytics for free, and put a bit of code they’ll give you in your blog’s Html somewhere, in mine I think it’s in my header.php. Me thinks this farmgirl should get my biceps back in shape and post them for you all. :0 Yes, I hear Satan’s pillows are hard to keep in stock, so in demand. :0 Thanks for all.
Yo Glenn, I’m still trying to get used to that new gravatar of yours. Is that really you??
Yo, Lane,
BB helped Dad on that big pile.
Yo, Vered. (feels werid to say yo to you.)
entertainment, that’s it!! I had to wade through many hundred, but I think it was well worth it.
Y0 William — all 3 on that machine had some good laughs, I think!
Yo Joaquin, so gymnasts smoked weed, set each other’s pants on fire and thought they saw undectable bugs on the sidewalk?
Maybe!
Yo, Desk 49 — snow, I knew they were missing something!!
xoxo
On 14 September 2010 at 3:40 pm Natalia said,
Ha ha! My favs gymnast pants on fire, why did my blueberries turn fuzzy, naked guy fishing! ha ha!!!!
On 14 September 2010 at 4:29 pm Jeanne said,
Yo Dearest Jannie of the Funstering fields and forests of frolic and fame,
I always love your posts on keyword searches.
Some good ones in here!
I have to say, though, that my favorite moment of this whole entire post was when my eyes scanned down to Blue Bunny “manning”/”womanning” (or “bunnying”) the Pioneer chainsaw!
Jeanne
xo
P.S. May I inquire as to when I can expect my wood shipment for fall? Any rough ETA will do. We haven’t cranked up the wood-stove yet. Blue Bunny knows the wood must be seasoned, right??? How many cords shall I plan for? Any chance of an in-person delivery? It sure would be nice to meet you in the “real world”. Like the Google searcher above, “I love Jannie”!!
On 14 September 2010 at 4:55 pm Jeanne said,
Jannie,
So happy to see Blue Bunny’s ears are protected! I do have some concerns, though. Where are his safety goggles? My family wants to know……
Jeanne
On 14 September 2010 at 7:47 pm Laura Hegfield said,
That magnificent sky…the mundane work on a tractor…the contagious giggles from two little girls…the completely random phrases below.
ahh jannie…you are a master of mash-ups. I LOVE visiting your page.
On 14 September 2010 at 7:52 pm richard north said,
Lol, it hilarious what possibilities search engines can throw out at you
.-= richard north´s last blog ..Evolution of our race ‘poetry’ =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 9:28 pm Mia @ Finding Balance said,
I have to tell you, I’m completely caught up in the photos. I love the land being covered by clouds that could promise to storm!
On 14 September 2010 at 9:43 pm Daisy said,
HA! It’s kind of frightening, isn’t it. HA HA HA! So will ants attack chapstick? I’ve always wondered…
.-= Daisy´s last blog ..Monday Colors – Purple =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 9:54 pm Tess The Bold Life said,
I love the photos of grandfather and grandchildren. Delightful. These people that find our blogs through these weird words…do you suppose they like what they find?!? I wonder how many new readers we get and keep. LOL
.-= Tess The Bold Life´s last blog ..The Art & Craft of Saying ‘No’ =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 10:25 pm Jannie said,
Yo, Natalia! Poor person not knowing their blueberries would not last forever and forever. Such a cruel truth of life. (P.S. AWESOME to see you again, my lovely lovely friend.)
Yo, Jeanne!! I KNEW you would be wondering about your next wood shipment!!!! BB has 3 sticks all seasoned for you. Aren’t these searches wild?? Can’t wait to see what the autumn edition will reveal, but I’ll have to. I’ll let you all know in early December. Oh, yes BB’s safety goggles, he does wear them for all his lumberjacking activities. After I took the pic of him he ran back into the house to get them. He’d dropped them in the crisper when he went for more karrits.
Yo, Laura! Did you see your sidebar button?? mash-up, I need to Google that, been hearing it a lot lately. Funny stuff people type eh? And I LOVE visiting YOUR page — just like that old insurance jingle “life, is a Mutual affair…” Or was that just a Canadian ad?
Yo, Richard — did YOU see YOUR sidebar button!?? You are one talented artiste — loved seeing your original art.
Yo, Mia!! It didn’t actually rain that day, or much that whole trip in 2006. But aren’t the clouds voluminously grand!!?? I like the 3rd photo because it shows our lane I always love walking on back to the woods, but not too far into the woods — bears!
Yo, Daisy, that’s been a big question on my mind forever too! Ants attacking chapstick — hiarious indeed!!
Yo, Tess — it was a spontaneous fun time. Dad is the original funster.
Do the searchers like what they find on our blogs, and do they come back??? Are you KIDDING me, woman?? They LOVE us. How could they NOT??? 
xoxoxoxo
On 14 September 2010 at 10:36 pm Talon said,
“farm girl biceps” – lol!
And I really hope the ugly guy got some style advice. Poor thing!
You have the best keyword searches, Jannie!
And those photos are so sweet! The girls are having a blast!
.-= Talon´s last blog ..Bubblegum and Broken Hearts =-.
On 14 September 2010 at 11:58 pm Tony Single said,
“Will ants attack chapstick?”
I’m so never going to get that phrase out of my head…
On 15 September 2010 at 12:44 am G-Man said,
Nice wood pile!!!!
On 15 September 2010 at 3:17 am Davina said,
“friday night activities for a guy with a broken arm” — oh, that’s a shame
And, how to walk around with a wedgie all day? Gee whiz. Maybe you should blog about that since you’ve already blogged about bra flinging, lol.
On 15 September 2010 at 4:02 am SnaggleTooth said,
Very amusing as always!
Think I helped with the “Blue Beam” one- in an old comment. Apparently there is a fake alien takeover plan with that name floating around the web according to my search.
Neat ski-doo pics
.-= SnaggleTooth´s last blog ..Fine Vine =-.
On 15 September 2010 at 9:27 am suzen said,
Hi Jannie! First, Happy Birthday to Kelly! I just LOVE the pictures in the fields! What fun that had to be – snowmobiling without the snow – now THAT is something I’d like to do! Those searches are a riot – I get some equally weirdo ones too. Makes you aware of the fact that there are some whacky folks out there eh?
hugs
suZen
On 15 September 2010 at 11:14 am Hilary said,
Hi Jannie .. I thought it was going to be a picture of Barbara Swafford’s wood pile for her construction business! Then I saw a few peoples I recognised. Funny searches .. what do people spend their life doing?????!!!!! Mind you I know what Lance does .. his button is under this mini Word shape I’ve got open .. and it’s nearly over the yard arm here .. ‘cept I’m going out – so none tonight! Did any of these funny people stop and comment – not Lance obviously …. we know he can’t stay away from Funsterfun .. like the rest of us.
Green grass outside now – to match the pics?! Clever girl?! & BB’s got his chain saw at the read .. a Pioneer one nog al …. ah! He’s a lumbirjak and thats okae – yussir we tinks zo. Lovely pics . great Canadian expanse & what a storm brewing …
Congratulations to your parents .. that’s amazing news – 51 years ……and yup – you don’t need to educate me re the 11.08.2006 … same here 15.09.10 today as ever is … and as ever the little ones .. now somewhat older?
Some history please re your farm – sounds so interesting .. enjoy the day .. and have funster fun .. see you soon … xoxoxo Hils
.-= Hilary´s last blog ..Misalliance to veer to the left- or to veer to the right! =-.
On 15 September 2010 at 1:20 pm Lynn said,
Hey – I think “I have done good things lately” should lead people to my blog.
Cute child up above and Blue Bunny looks so macho with the chain saw. Yikes.
On 15 September 2010 at 3:41 pm Glenn Buttkus said,
Youbettcha, that’sa me as Papa Smurf, or
some such silliness. Speaking of silliness,
that’s what we all come here for, enit?
1. I believe that an ugly guy, and the girls
used to call me “uglyman” while I was
a manager of a Burger King in CA back
in the day, needs to have a face shot of
himself put on a t-shirt, mug on the
front, and the words: KISS ME OR KICK
ME: YOUR CHOICE.
2. My Melva is 6′ tall, but she has the
cutest little girl feet; the cherubs are
still chuckling over that one.
3. Some activities could include
drinking, drinking, pool ball juggling,
drinking, donut diving or bobbing,
break dancing, hand jive, and
signing up for a course in pickpocketing.
4. When a gymnast’s britches are on fire
he/she needs to quit smoking in bed,
or cleaning food stains off with lighter
fluid.
5. Obviously Grandpa Funster would top
the list and be January on the HANDSOME
MEN WITH CHAINSAWS calendar.
6. Broken arms to seem to be attracted to
Funsterville; damnedest thing you ever saw,
with 77 men with broken arms lined up
at Funbucks to get their morning latte.
7. Of course we are talking about the
Wedgie breed of dog, only 9 pounds naked
on a lease, and 3 pounds of that is tail.
8. Perhaps if one does not lie them on
their fuzzy pants for the evening, the
poor berries might not sprout so much
fuzz in the morning.
9. Well hell, a quart of coffee, and two
dozen chocolate chip cookies will do
that for you; the chocolate chips
counteract the caffeine, and slumber
awaits.
10. Those are the stores in TX where
the pea hides in clear glass food shelves,
or dances merrily on top of grocery carts,
or pitches hissie fits about Captain Crunch
in aisle 5.
11. When it comes to poltergeists, those
Nippon types can be the worst; they are
diminutive and hard to detect, and they
all carry samurai swords and chopsticks.
12. We all know that Miss Jannie after her
morning stroll to the favorite bench, after
her yoga and aerobics, has “the magic
perfect butt”, and she knows it too.
13. All sidewalk bugs can be bothersome,
but the microscopic variety fly into your
available orifices, and tickle you for
12 solid minutes.
14. SATAN’S PILLOW is a male strip club
that Jannie, BB, and some ladyfriends
frequent for lunch.
15. “Stay out of my wine, doll” was just
missing a coma, and besides it is much
more polite than calling her a bitch.
16. 30 penguins will always congregate
in your igloo if you pile up 104 fish,
9 shrimp, and 16 bottles of cod liver
oil in the SE corner at 10 am on Thursdays.
17. I forgot about the naked guy fishing,
which goes cheek by jowls with the naked
mailman, and although I opened our back
door while naked last Saturday to let our
cat out and the old lady across the alley
smiled warmly and waved, I do think it
has something to do with bra-flinging
and playing guitar in your bikini.
18. Ants will attack anything of course,
but they will not be attracted to
peanut butter chapstick; it grosses
them out, even though I like it.
19. When blue bunny has had too many
chili beans, he twirls in semi-circles emitting
several blue beams of specialness.
20. Again the TV commercial contract goes
to the Canuck Grandpa Funster, who does
let grass grow on him or his runners; and
only uses grass for medicinal purposes.
21. Biting beds, like snapping house slippers,
like drooling DVR’s, like flagellating furniture
of assorted types and sizes, are all the things
one can find in Ms. Rowlings home; you know,
Harry Potter’s Mom.
22. I think you are probably remembering your
days on the Canadian farm before Big Jim found
you and bought you your first dress and first
pair of girl shoes, and first bra.
23. GOING TO AUSTIN TO GET ME SOME PANTS
will be the title of one of your new songs on
the new CD; no surprise there.
24. And you had 37 more on your left arm, and
then you posted pics of them for our pleasure.
25. Was it creating the Pea, or I NEED A MAN
that constitutes the last good thing you accomplished?
26. Heck, we ALL L O V E Jannie!!! What’s not to love?
27. You have nice neighbors who keep their traps shut
about all the things you do over at your place at 4 in
the morning!
.-= Glenn Buttkus´s last blog ..Angelica & Bob On Line =-.
On 15 September 2010 at 4:48 pm sheila said,
Okay, lol. I enjoyed the pics more this time! Wonderful giggles and fun! I WISH I lived by him because I’d for sure order wood from that pile!
On 15 September 2010 at 10:09 pm Luisa Doraz said,
Hope you and your amazing family keep having many wonderful moments Stay well and happy.
On 15 September 2010 at 10:15 pm SuziCate said,
Some of these are just so silly crazy. Now, I want to know what post brought in someone wondering if it’s ok to walk around in a wedgie all day! Seriously? Please?! Who would google something like that? Kinda’ scary isn’t it?!
.-= SuziCate´s last blog ..Living Or Lingering =-.
On 16 September 2010 at 8:43 am Jannie said,
Dearest Peeps. It really is such a beautiful day today with the trees and the bees and all of you so nice to know.
Thanks for your visits.
Now, I believe the squirrels are waiting on the Trail for me!!
See you all later.
Xoxoxxoooxxoo
On 16 September 2010 at 8:46 am Nadia Ballas-Ruta - Happy Lotus Lifestyles said,
Good morning, Jannie!
This was so funny and kind of scary to see what people actually search for on the Internet.
Thank you for always making me laugh and for sharing your light with all of us!
By the way, I love that first picture. It is obvious that your father is so full of love and that love just shines through in that pic.
.-= Nadia Ballas-Ruta – Happy Lotus Lifestyles´s last blog ..Branding- Visuals Matter and How to Begin Crafting Your Brand =-.
On 16 September 2010 at 10:26 am Alice Audrey said,
Your search results are much more interesting than mine. I mostly get stuff like, “table setting” and “Alice Audrey.”
I’m surprised you aren’t taking advantage of Blogmania to claim a copy of Moving In.
On 16 September 2010 at 11:59 am Mama Zen said,
Funny. A little scary, but funny.
.-= Mama Zen´s last blog ..Paw Prints =-.
On 17 September 2010 at 9:32 am Jannie said,
I thank you all extra much for commenting.
I am a bit pressed for time this week and may not get back here to answer each of you individually. Please forgive me?
Please know you all SO ROCK!!!
With love, from JannieN
xoxo
On 17 September 2010 at 10:58 am Katherine said,
I have to say that there is a bit of a “butt” theme going on there Jannie. All day wedgies, gymnast pants on fire, magic perfect butt; hmmm, what does that say?
…
hilarious! That’s what it spells.
and you are
so I guess google must be right
happy funster Friday
.-= Katherine´s last blog ..Changing of the Seasons =-.
On 17 September 2010 at 11:53 am Jannie said,
Okay, so heeeeer’s Jannie…
WONDERFUL COMMENTS, as usual, by wonderful peeps!
Thank you all so much.
@ davina — threw all my undies out — the Lord brought me into the world that way, so…
(Ummn, was that way way way TMI??)
Snaggle brings the blue beam!!
@ Hilary — “nearly over the yard arm” does that mean cocktail hour??
And sorry, I edited out the extra info, trying to think now of sticking more to one topic per post — if possible. 
And will enjoy sharing all my family history with you all with the passing of time. Lots of pix for that too! Yes, 4 years ago!! Going up for a whole month next summer, with NYNY visiting either on the way there or back. What you think? On the way up, or back to TX?
Jay-sus, Glenn!! That was ONE awesome comment!!! I love when you wax creative here! Some of those made me laugh, and laugh and laugh!! Ahhh, my sides are still splitting from you. THANKS!! LOVED your comment so much.
Alice Audrey — I WILL be over. As I mentioned to another, i now spend 4 hours a day in car — SERIOUSLY cutting into my blogging habit!!
Katherine– you are so RIGHT — butts galore here.
xoxoxo
On 17 September 2010 at 7:25 pm secret agent woman said,
Back when my blog was still subject to search engines, I used to be astounded by all the strange things that would bring people to my blog.
.-= secret agent woman´s last blog ..Annual =-.
On 18 September 2010 at 8:50 am Nessa said,
That’s hysterical that they are using a snow mobile on the grass. My relatives would do that.
.-= Nessa´s last blog ..Weekend Funnies – There Has Been a Theft in My Fiefdom =-.
On 18 September 2010 at 9:19 am Jannie said,
SAW!! How did your blog get to be unsubject to search engines?
Nessa!! You must have some fun relatives. And be fun yourself!
xoxoxoo
On 18 September 2010 at 12:56 pm Alice Audrey said,
FOUR HOURS? Gah! When do you have time to breathe?
On 18 September 2010 at 4:00 pm Jannie said,
Well AA — No!! I was wrong — sorry — I doubled it accientally. I spend 2 horus in car for school transport, roughly 30 mins there, and back, twice. But do carpool one day a week.
Wow, 4 hours would suck big-time. Don’t ya feel a LOT better now for me!!!
xoxox
On 27 November 2010 at 3:04 am Happy Five-Oh, Harry Big Bro | Jannie Funster said,
[...] you are well Harry-The-Scary-Cherry, 2700 miles away in Fun Land, but more alive and alove in my heart than [...]