When Bob Jumped Off The Garage Roof With Delilah
Poetry | Posted by Jannie on 6 September 2011 @ 1:50 PM 77 Comments
They say Bob sported only
a limestone ascot that night.
Delilah was nude too, save for
her boa of lit birthday candles
and boots of Spanish leather.
– nice boots, with Samson’s
biceps tooled onto the thighs
and scrapbooks of his broken
ukulele and his grandmother’s
strudel carved into the soles.
Anyway…
As Bob and Delilah, holding hands,
plunged into a vat of stray cats,
they cringed at the landing sure
to hurt more than a guided tour
of the Early Dentistry Museum.
Yes, a place with photos like this…
But lo and William be Holden,
their fall was broken by a magic
carpet ride of lumberjack poems
whisking them safely to Danny’s
for a nightcap of caramel stew.
Danny’s, with patrons pretty-much
naked too except for fluffy crowns
of Russian flash-dancing squirrels
and socks knit from curtains of sky,
Bob and Delilah felt right at home.
Meanwhile Samson, chain-smoking
American Spirits back on the roof,
broke into the most heartbreaking
version of “Why, why, why, Delilah?”
since Tom Jones lassoed the moon.
~~~ end of poem.
(Sorry this poem is so nuts. Can you ever forgive me?) 
Got poetry? Love poetry? dVerse is Da Poetry Bomb!
Open Link Tuesday goes live weekly at 3:00 EST, whoooohoooo.
Flashdancing squirrels from Rose Is Rose
No stray cats were hurt in the making of this or any other of my poems.
On 6 September 2011 at 2:12 pm
Claudia said,
haha jannie…simply love it!!!!
On 6 September 2011 at 2:12 pm
david waters said,
this was a thrill ride of words…loved everyminute
On 6 September 2011 at 2:26 pm
mrs mediocrity said,
this totally made me smile… boots of spanish leather being my favorite dylan song and all…
On 6 September 2011 at 2:28 pm
Linda said,
Bob and Deliah took a walk on the wild side for sure. Alls well that ends well, though, and theirs was a happy ending. Enjoy your week!
On 6 September 2011 at 2:29 pm
brian said,
sampson should quit, doesnt he know that is bad for his health, the smoking too…haha…
the dentistry museum is one i never want to visit…ack!
On 6 September 2011 at 2:47 pm
hedgewitch said,
Surreal is the only word that comes to mind, besides hilarious. The squirrels alone will abide in my mind for days.
On 6 September 2011 at 3:00 pm
Heaven said,
Funny images specially of “Russian flash-dancing squirrels”
.. enjoyed it much~
On 6 September 2011 at 3:01 pm
Louise said,
Very sureal, but great! lol loved it..
On 6 September 2011 at 3:05 pm
Daydreamertoo said,
William be Holden… LOL
Very clever … what a fun read. That picture looks like something from the Silence of the Lambs movie, so scary, if I’d seen that I would never go to a dentist! Yikes.
On 6 September 2011 at 3:06 pm
Jannie said,
Thank you all so much for your deeply-appreciated comments.
Love to all from weirdpoemland.
See you soon.
xoox
On 6 September 2011 at 3:18 pm
ayala said,
A fun write, Jannie
On 6 September 2011 at 3:23 pm
Pat Hatt said,
My kind of write, love how you weaved all the references in there, as you told their story and of course you have to watch those Russian flash dancing squirrels, they might accidently poke you..haha
On 6 September 2011 at 4:20 pm
rob kistner said,
Oh yes, I certainly like this one of yours – here’s mine: http://www.image-verse.com/clown
On 6 September 2011 at 4:37 pm
Christi Moon said,
wild ride! highly entertaining. enjoyed this Jannie.
On 6 September 2011 at 4:48 pm
Laura Hegfield said,
oh Jannie dahling…what a ride…love the dentistry museum!!!
On 6 September 2011 at 4:57 pm
Gay said,
My kinda poem. I can fill in those spaces (but then I am a child of the 60s) and I’ve been around the psychedelic block a time or two. Well done!
On 6 September 2011 at 5:36 pm
John Richter said,
How wonderfully whimsical……..! I had to laugh out loud when I saw this line:
“But lo and William be Holden”
……… I know it’s just maybe corny but it’s the way it sits inside the entire poem, everything about it is just so incredibly giddy…….! hahah…… a wonderful read Jannie… I’m John and pleased to meet you……
On 6 September 2011 at 5:38 pm
Glenn Buttkus said,
Zany, wild, loose-jointed, and tons
of fun, this one, Jannie.
It scans like a Frank Zappa
lyric sung by Minnie Pearl
while the Opery was flooding;
puts all of us into another
dimensional shift; endeavoring
to keep up. If Sampson had not
been a cheapskate, and had got
himself a decent haircut, old Bob
never would have scored with
Delilah. Of course we understand
that Tom Jones lassoed the moon
with his jock strap, enit?
On 6 September 2011 at 5:47 pm
Jannie said,
Yes, this is very very corny. Please forgive my flight of fancy this week, folks.
And oh. Krap. I just got whacked in the left eye by one of those squirrels. Ouch, darn it. I knew he was into the high-test, not decaf. Gonna have a shiner I think. Oh well.
Well, back to knitting more socks! There are those orphans to think about.
xoxo
On 6 September 2011 at 5:56 pm
Bryce Christiansen said,
Oh my gosh! Where do you find pictures like these. Incredible Jannie. You have a great talent for prose and photography.
Bryce
On 6 September 2011 at 6:07 pm
Charles Elliott aka Beautyseer said,
Funny. And I always like cpublic nudity. Although a creative writing teacher I had once would argue that naked was art, but naked save with boots on is puriency. Either way, I had to smile…
On 6 September 2011 at 6:24 pm
Fred said,
Jannie, wonderfully penned. Great storytelling tone and a tale that moves about, different directions filled with abstractions, dream, references galore. Love this piece
On 6 September 2011 at 6:26 pm
California Ink in Motion said,
I was smiling throughout reading this but actually laughed out-loud when I read:
But lo and William be Holden
Clever poem and whimsical to brighten my day! Thanks!
On 6 September 2011 at 6:44 pm
Anna Montgomery said,
Russian flash-dancing squirrels
made my week (along with the pic) – thank you ever so much for the laugh!
On 6 September 2011 at 6:46 pm
Gene said,
This felt like an absurdist comedy. Funny, zany feel, though at times I felt like I was so lost, haha.
On 6 September 2011 at 7:57 pm
Ann LeFlore said,
What a thrill ride you have created your words just flow love your blog
http://gatelesspassage.com/2011/08/29/unsuspecting-creatures-of-the-night/
On 6 September 2011 at 8:22 pm
Caity said,
Oh Jannie how I have missed you! I thoroughly enjoyed this!
On 6 September 2011 at 8:43 pm
Margaret said,
Ha! I’m not sure I understand it all but I know I’d love to see a picture book of this crazy poem! or a movie with Gilda Radner!
On 6 September 2011 at 9:41 pm
Daisy said,
Ah, Jannie, you have such a free and wild imagination. Loved it.
On 6 September 2011 at 9:50 pm
Rosie said,
Love the imagery, I’ll be having dreams about that poem tonight, I guess I never told you and I’m not sure if you know that we have a beautiful Hawiian red ukelele in our posession here in the neo-Eddy household. It is waiting for your trained guitar hands to grasp it and make it howl into the night.
love you always.
On 6 September 2011 at 10:01 pm
Anna @ waysidewordgarden said,
Highly imaginative and enjoyable!!
On 6 September 2011 at 11:48 pm
Kavita said,
teeheehee…you are the rock star of imagination and creativity, Jannie!!! Mwaaahhh!! Thoroughly enjoyed this one! But the dentistry thingie gave me the creeps alright!
On 7 September 2011 at 4:55 am
Lynn said,
Fun poem, Jannie Muffin.
On 7 September 2011 at 5:33 am
jackie dick said,
A surreal roller coaster of a ride. I’m a little dizzy but laughing to beat the band. Those squirrels! You had fun with this one, didn’t you…uh-huh. Loved it!
On 7 September 2011 at 6:41 am
Steve King said,
When writers have fun, so do readers. I enjoyed traveling through the reverie.
On 7 September 2011 at 8:47 am
Jannie said,
Hey everybody. You are awesome!
Thank you all so much for your visits.
Rosie, I hope your dreams were howlingly great last night??
xoxoxo
On 7 September 2011 at 9:36 am
Joe Hesch said,
Sometimes we forget art can be fun. It’s an entertainment as much as a communion between artist and reader/viewer/listener. Thanks for the extremely well-crafted reminder, Jannie. Is it just me, or is there a lot of Dylan in there? The Minnesota one, not the Welshman.
On 7 September 2011 at 10:41 am
Aimee said,
Love it!
On 7 September 2011 at 10:47 am
Becky Kilsby said,
Now I know how to write a poem including the National Dentistry Museum… love your imagination….
Been reading Anne Sexton lately?
On 7 September 2011 at 12:52 pm
Mama Zen said,
Pass the caramel stew!
On 7 September 2011 at 1:09 pm
Sheila Moore said,
too funny and way crazy. I like your style
On 7 September 2011 at 1:24 pm
Belinda said,
Ha ha! Such a playground of whimsical words here, Jannie. Love your inspired writing. I’d even visit the early dentistry museum with you! xxoo
On 7 September 2011 at 2:03 pm
Jannie said,
Yep, big B. Dylan fan here. He named himself after the Welsh one, of course, I saw the writing shed in Wales! I think somewhere I even have pix of it I took.
Nope, no Anne Sexton. Just fooling around with some of my fave words.
See you all at the museum — gotta love the early floss — baler twine!!
Now back to the melody of “When I Put On My Sneakers…”
xoxoxo
On 7 September 2011 at 2:24 pm
sheila said,
You’re so funny! I was good with this til the Why Why Why Delilah. And now, thank you very much…. I shall be singing that all day.
On 7 September 2011 at 2:50 pm
Dulce said,
Cute and witty writing- loved it!
On 7 September 2011 at 3:08 pm
Jennifer Susannah Devore said,
I am, as you know, all about dancing squirrels!!
http://www.amazon.com/Jennifer-Susannah-Devore/e/B002ONP5CY/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0
Cheers and Happy GOP Debate Night to you, Miss Jannie of Texas! Perry/Paul ticket? Mais bien-sur SVP!!
On 7 September 2011 at 6:54 pm
ed pilolla said,
god you are a ton of fun to read and enjoy:)
On 7 September 2011 at 7:53 pm
colleen said,
It couldn’t have ended any other way than with Tom Jones lassoing the moon!
On 7 September 2011 at 8:24 pm
Patricia said,
this was so much fun to read… surprises at every turn and NOTHING predictable! “Anyway”… I loved the voice. How wonderfully refreshing and fun!
On 7 September 2011 at 9:26 pm
SnaggleTooth said,
Such a strange poem! Have you heard the recent news thing about how it’s legal to be nude in San Franscico n they want a new law about a having a seat-butt covering by nudes in eateries?
Ouch! My teeth! Don’t move lady… this may hurt…
What a pic!
Love that TJones tune- why are they flinging bras dururing it? Cuz it’s at Jannies!
On 8 September 2011 at 12:31 am
Lane Savant said,
Bee-youtifully insane,Jannie. A mantlepiece.
On 8 September 2011 at 6:28 am
Leif G.S. Notae said,
Wow… I… Um… You really should put an advisory on this piece about reading it after properly caffienating ones self. *blink* I can taste purple, man!
Great write!
On 8 September 2011 at 8:51 am
Jannie said,
Hey, Hey, Hey, I’m getting caffeinated, so what do you say??
Pary time on the blogs??
Shelia, did you sing that song all day? Jennifer, Rick Perry is SO handsome. They were all good. I vote all 9 of them equal commanders-in-chief. Not a dud in the bunch. Snaggle, I agree — yuck!!!
everyones else , smiles and hugs.
And off I go to revise “Mary, Do You Hear Me…”
xoxoxoxooxxoo
On 8 September 2011 at 10:15 am
Lady Nyo said,
Wonderfully inventive storytelling, hysterical!
Glad about the cats….whew…had me worried and searching the poem for their tragedy.
LOL! Jannie, you are funny.
Lady Nyo
On 8 September 2011 at 10:38 am
Bajanpoet said,
I LOVE THIS … made me smile .. going through the dVerse entries for the week (in order lol) I came across this and I just HAD to read it … LOL it was so funny!
On 8 September 2011 at 11:57 am
Alice Audrey said,
A vat of cats? Poor kitties. Well, at least none were harmed.
On 8 September 2011 at 12:28 pm
Chris Edgar said,
Oh, those squirrels in the picture are flashdancing! I was trying for the longest time to make out what they were up to — at the outset I thought they were mutant cyclops (or perhaps cyclopean) squirrels with just one eye in their heads, but that turned out to be their noses. Now I am practically hearing the Irene Cara in the background and those squirrels are coming alive and dancing right through my life.
On 8 September 2011 at 12:45 pm
Victoria said,
OMG, I love this. I’m smiling so wide it hurts. Just a flight of somewhat insane fancy. Reminds me of my psychiatric nursing training, way back when things were a bit primitive.
Thanks for your kind comments on my blog, Jannie. I think that I would be a better nurse now that I’ve had so much experience as a patient. But I guess we all do the best we can in the moment.
On 8 September 2011 at 1:09 pm
lori said,
So, this is certainly imaginative and entertaining to say the least. Wonderful
On 8 September 2011 at 1:46 pm
C Rose said,
A great bit of story prose. Enjoyed this! ~ Rose
On 8 September 2011 at 2:28 pm
Jannie said,
Yep, no cats harmed. In fact, they were munching from a vat of yummy yummy Friskies Salmon Feast that Bob put out for them, as he does every night. Well-fed strays.
Yes, I was trying to figure out the squirrel noses too.
Victoria, well, I get writers block and start thinking weird thoughts.
A sweeter poem has come up today, tho! Jut needs a lovely photo to go with.
xooxoxo
On 8 September 2011 at 5:29 pm
Dr. J said,
You know the really frightening thing is, I know what that guy is doing in the photo!
Loved your song on my column! Thank you, you creative thing, you!
On 8 September 2011 at 6:33 pm
LBTL said,
Nice twist to the biblical actors…that old dentristy is so modern compared to that era, funny bit, you made me smile, thanks
Happy rally!!
On 8 September 2011 at 6:50 pm
pamelasayers said,
Jannie, thanks for the smiles with this surreal write.
Pamela
On 8 September 2011 at 7:56 pm
Helena said,
Ha! A gig-a-licious piece ~ Thoroughly enjoyed this ~
Thanks for your generous comments on my blog Jannie ♥ ஆ ~.^
On 8 September 2011 at 9:14 pm
kaykuala said,
Hilarious! It runs through some big names of the 60s. Quite a feat that Dylan and Tom Jones part of the ‘flower people’ generation could still hold it out on themselves after all these years.
On 8 September 2011 at 9:14 pm
G-Man said,
Psssst.
(Samson):P:P:P
On 8 September 2011 at 9:58 pm
Jannie said,
Dr J. Looks like he’s hooking her up to be a test Skylab station?
LBTL — interesting observation on the Biblical and 1800s dentistry differences!
G-Man — thanks!! Not very good on my Bible spelling am I?
Everyone else, whoooohoooo. Tomorrow is Friday!!
xoxo
On 9 September 2011 at 10:10 am
Baishali said,
haha this is hilarious … simply loved it … coming to your blog is an enjoyable experience
On 10 September 2011 at 3:21 pm
Patricia said,
Caramel Stew…much better than zucchini burritos…my mouth is salivating…
I did a squirrel jumping post last year…after the power came back on for the squirrel fried self and transformer box on the pole…Yikes…no lumberjack landing there
On 11 September 2011 at 11:46 am
Jo Mifflin said,
Hey baby cake
Could you give Kelly Funster the biggest hug & sloppiest kiss from me for the princesses birthday
Miss you all darlings XxXxX
Went to Chatsworth house today, it was ace ~ saw lots of old Morris Minors
http://www.chatsworth.org/
xoxoxoxo
On 11 September 2011 at 12:50 pm
Jannie said,
Thanks, Baishali!
Patricia, I remember that post, poor little squirrel.
JO!! I just put her birthday post up, too the 10 pancakes picture this morning. Thanks so much. She’s having her party next Saturday. But we’ll be having a family celebration today. Mis you too!!!!! Going to click your Chatsworth link in a minute!!
xoxoxooxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
On 13 September 2011 at 3:46 pm
Shadiatique said,
Woow How did you write this. Crazy funny and well written.
So good. Thanks for sharing,
Shadiatique
On 14 September 2011 at 1:03 pm
Jannie said,
Yes, Shadiatique — I proudly announce I wrote all this crazy sh$t myself!!
I get a little bored some days you see….
Actually that was born of a tad of writer’s block.
xo
On 15 September 2011 at 8:37 pm
Liara Covert said,
Ah, dental visions…My husband prefers to pull out his own teeth rather than go to the dentist. My one year old son has a new ‘like’ for wrapping the speaker cord around his front teeth and pulling. I encourage the young’un to keep his teeth for a while yet:)He graduates from oatmeal and moves on to solids. WOuld not wish him to bite off too much as he really like to chew:)
On 16 September 2011 at 11:14 am
Jannie said,
Oh, Liara, sounds like you are having lots of fun with your little one. They do some pretty funny explorational things. Yes, tell that baby to take baby steps, in all things, not bite off too much at once.
Yikes — your husband sounds like he must have a very high pain tolerance. You’d never find me pulling my own teeth.
xoxooxo
On 6 November 2011 at 1:55 pm
Creatine said,
It’s perfect time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy.
(Note from Jannie — AMEN, Creatine!!!!! One of the best lines in a spam I’ve ever read. Thank you for the inspiration.)