“Everybody’s Buttocks Are Beautiful” song lyric

Funsterment, Poetry, Songwriting | Posted by Jannie on 29 March 2015 @ 12:46 PM 30 Comments

I have changed / improved the below lyric since this post was originally written. ~~ Jannie


Verse 1
my buttocks are looking oh so flabby today
i overheard her say
at the coffee shop yesterday
she was lamenting to her friend
that she’d gained weight in her rear end
she feared her gluteous maximus
was losing it attractiveness
so i leaned over to her table
and said excuse me lady, don’t you know…

everybody’s buttocks are beautiful
no matter the shape or size
everybody’s buttocks are beautiful
in God’s eyes

Verse 2
she replied from her pie, skinny ma’am please get real
you don’t know how i feel
you probably got buns of steel
i said, oh no — quite to the contraire
i’ve not been exercising my derriere
my fanny is a little flat
but i don’t worry ’bout that
i know what really matters
is the beauty here in my heart, and…

everybody’s buttocks are beautiful
no matter the shape or size
everybody’s buttocks are beautiful
in God’s eyes

then her friend said, i agree
your butt is a beautiful sight to see
a glorious gift from God above
made of grace ‘n made of love

if it’s big, medium, little
hard as rock or gotta lotta jiggle
your heinie’s fine as fine can be
so shake your booty down with me…

then we all got up
and danced, and sang

everybody’s buttocks are beautiful
no matter the shape or size
everybody’s buttocks are beautiful
in God’s eyes

Repeat Chorus

~~ (rear) end of lyric.

An offering for my next Open Mike.

O.M.s are a hoot!! Usually you play 3 tunes, but sometimes a couple more if not a lot of performers show up.

Posted with love, by Jannie


P.S. When I started that index card months ago, 4 of those 6 songs’ lyrics were still not finished, so — yay me for my progress!  :)

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  • 1

    On 30 March 2015 at 2:28 am

    Hilary said, 

    Hi Jannie – you always come up with some fun lyrics that lead us to images for us to somewhat debate on … brilliant – and as I listen to your first CD – I can always see you singing the tunes …

    Great fun … happy buttocking .. cheers and big hugs from a sunny Monday – Hilary

  • 2

    On 30 March 2015 at 2:24 pm

    Lynn said, 

    What a terrifically fun song! I hardly know anyone who is happy about the state of their buttocks, so this is a gift to all your friends. :) xooxoox

  • 3

    On 31 March 2015 at 9:16 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hey Hils! Guess what?! You win a prize for First Commenter! I am instituting that new perk, as of now. Each First Commenter gets a snail-mail pressie. And if you are still at the place I sent your Christmas card to (which I think you ARE,) within the next 12 to 18 days please expect to receive a little “something”… Ah, I am glad my tune still provides opportunity for debate — that’s gotta be a good thing! :) Cheers from a sunny Tuesday, partially overcast looks like.

    Bo-Binnie!! :) :) :) Have been on my guitar with it this morning, practiced at 116 bpm, gonna try 117 next, still testing out the tempo — but the “bottom” line on the lyric is, I can really get “behind” it now. :) The bridge proved the most challenging, but I got it! My other intent in practice today is to solidify the melodic rhythm of the chorus’ first line!



  • 4

    On 31 March 2015 at 3:08 pm

    Daisy said, 

    Jannie, you make me smile. Love your song. :-) xoxo

  • 5

    On 1 April 2015 at 10:18 am

    Talon said, 

    I’ll be looking at rear ends with a whole different level of respect, Jannie!

    Happy April!! xxoo

  • 6

    On 1 April 2015 at 4:31 pm

    Sara said, 

    THIS WAS SO MUCH FUN TO READ:~) I love it…only you could write a song about “butts” and it was funny! Oh, thank you for sharing this one. I can’t wait to read “Wedgie Wedding” :~)

    BTW I watched the girls gymnastics SEC championship the other day. It was amazing what those young women can do. OMG I was impressed.

  • 7

    On 1 April 2015 at 6:19 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Daisy! Awesome, thanks. Glad you liked it. It actually reminds me of something you would write!

    Talon! :) Who knew rear ends could get so much positive press, eh?

    SARA!! Well, guess what… I will copy and paste my “Wedgie Wedding” lyric for you here…

    “Wedgie Wedding” to a lively beat by Jannie Funster

    Verse 1.
    The church was filled with flowers and three hundred close friends.
    My gown of lace was white as snow and I had no split ends.
    Everything was perfect, just as it should be
    ‘cept for one small detail that was tugging at me…

    I had a wedgie on my wedding day, it crept on up as Dad gave me away.
    I had a wedgie but I tried to smile, taking the trip up that long long aisle.
    Do dee do do doo doo dee doo. Do dee do do do do doo dee doo

    Verse 2.
    Groomsmen and bridesmaids we had ten of each
    Guys in black tuxedos, gals in satin peach
    Cold champagne was waiting, steak and lobster too
    All I could think of was where my undies had gotten to

    I had a wedgie of atomic force, I would’ve loved to give it a yank, of course.
    I had a wedgie but what could I do standing at the altar with my love so true.
    Do dee do do doo doo dee doo. Do dee do do do do doo dee doo

    Verse 3.
    Your undies may be borrowed, your undies may be blue
    but never ever let your undies get the best of you
    Listen, everybody, don’t do as I have done
    If you can’t trust your bloomers, you’re better off with none.

    I had a wedgie that was just plain wrong, my french cut undies turned into a thong
    I had a wedgie I’m telling ya, man, really wasn’t part of my wedding plan
    Do dee do do doo doo dee doo. Do dee do do do do doo dee doo

    I had a wedgie on my wedding day, I had a wedgie — what more can I say?
    Doo doo dee doo doo doo dee doo doo doo doo


    Yes, I watched some of that SEC too. AMAZING, for sure! The most beautiful sport to watch, even better than figure skating, I think!!

    okay, gotta go!

  • 8

    On 1 April 2015 at 11:19 pm

    SnaggleTooth said, 

    I really like these lyrics, n maybe this will be a really jiggly hit at dance clubs- So many folks have low self esteem n this will make all feel better! Nice impatiens too! Good luck nailing down that first line melody.

    Sorry I’ve been so slow getting around blogs this month. Taxes are very taxing, especially figuring out the heathcare worksheet. (costing me $$$) Right now I’m goofing off visiting to avoid thinking about that. Yep, Talons comment cracked me up!

  • 9

    On 3 April 2015 at 1:05 pm

    Alice Audrey said, 

    LOL. I love this. Didn’t you post a part of it before? So… if you do it for open mic night, do we get to see video? :)

  • 10

    On 4 April 2015 at 2:17 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Hey Snag, thanks! yes, to heck with people not liking their bodies. We are ALL awesome just as we are. Still not sure what the tempo will be on this, practiced it at 116 yesterday — too slow, and 121 — too fast. Not really sure of how the recording will go, but a club dance tune would be cool for sure. I think I have the sung rhythm of that line better now, it changes up to a “lazier” feel there kinda. I’ve been so slow reading blogs too. Health care & taxes, TG our accountant will deal with all that. I sure hope you get yours sorted, I know it can be a real pain figuring stuff out sometimes. Glad to find the impatiens this year, I waited too long last year, and they were all sold out.

    Hey Alice, yes I did post bits of this here as the lyric progressed, the chorus mostly I think. Practiced quite a bit on the songs in the last few days, and the guitar on this one is really starting to come together, yay! YES, you WILL get to see a video of this one. I’ma keep practicing and share when it gets really good, or at least pretty-good. :)


  • 11

    On 5 April 2015 at 2:58 pm

    Chris Edgar said, 

    I love the way it’s written on the set list as “Everybody’s Buttocks R Beautiful” — that’s how the Backstreet Boys or One Direction clearly would spell it, although maybe they would also incorporate the number 2 into the word “beautiful” and they would probably use “booty” in the title. When do we get to hear the song?

  • 12

    On 11 April 2015 at 10:08 am

    Jannie said, 

    Good question, Chris. When? I still have 2 fine-tunings, maybe more, a little or a lot of practice… and then you will hear it! :) Gr8t 2 see you.


  • 13

    On 15 April 2015 at 11:34 am

    janice said, 

    Loved this! As I was reading, it came to life like a musical in my head, Mamma Mia-like with women pushing back their chairs,getting up from their tables all over the café/open mike night and joining in, proudly wiggling what we in Scotland call their bahookies! By the end, it was looking like a scene from Bollywood meets Nashville! Good luck with the fine tuning. My daughter’s a singer/songwriter who gigs a lot and it always makes me nostalgic if I go to hear her perform. I used to sing, write, play guitar and perform, too, so I appreciate everything that goes into it.

  • 14

    On 17 April 2015 at 1:40 pm

    Alice Audrey said, 

    Yay! I look forward to it. :)

  • 15

    On 17 April 2015 at 1:56 pm

    Dr. J said, 

    HaHa!! Very funny! You will kill them at the open mike with that song!!

  • 16

    On 17 April 2015 at 2:37 pm

    claudia said, 

    oh i do love the lyrics… what a beautiful reminder that beauty is much more than well shaped buttocks… ha

  • 17

    On 19 April 2015 at 12:01 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Exactly, Janice! In fact I feel a musical that takes place at an Open Mike cafe is probably shaping up from some of my songs. Wiggling our bahookies! That’s a new one on me. :) Tried to work in keester too, but it ended up on the editing room floor. :) So cool you are a songstress too, and your daughter!! What instrument do you play?

    Hey Alice, yes, I’ve been working on the block of 5 songs, and actually not as much on this one as the other 4 in the past couple weeks. Been isolating the guitar parts, mainly, changing quite a bit up in order to simplify and let the words be supported. However I’ve tried 2 new rhythms for Only Guilty Of Love, but they both sound a bit too spare. Had a couple of Youtube lessons, but now will consult a Real Human In My Own Life for their input.

    Hey,. Dr. J! I think it should be a song people like, another one I’m glad I wrote! Bit of a show tune, wot?

    Claudia, yes indeed, beauty comes from the soul, not the rump. And… I bet you Germans have some fun names for the posterior area too?! :)


  • 18

    On 20 April 2015 at 7:35 am

    Dr. J said, 

    @ Sara!

    Gators won another National Gymnastics championship!! That’s three in a row! They came in third in the SEC after having the best scores in all the events except for the beam, and that cost them as two of them fell or they would have won that also. The little Funster seems right at home on the beam :-)

  • 19

    On 20 April 2015 at 3:31 pm

    Jannie said, 

    NICE for the Gators!!

    One of our Level 9 girls just won NUMBER ONE CHAMP at Regionals in Kansas this past weekend — 7 States. Another scored First on 2 events, and made 3rd in the All Around. now… on to Westerns on Spokane next month, baby. All 4 of our girls who competed made it through!!

    And The Little Funster’s 9.525 balance beam routine video (for the GOLD medal!!!) will make it onto this blog in the next somewhat-not-too-distant-ish future.


  • 20

    On 21 April 2015 at 1:14 pm

    Linda said, 

    Oh Jannie, I love these lyrics especially since I struggle with uh, you know, more junk in my trunk than I would wish for. I can totally see this unfolding in some little coffee shop somewhere. I hope life is treating you kindly. Sorry to be late getting around here.

  • 21

    On 22 April 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Liara Covert said, 

    Your sense of humor is one way you invite the world to relish their own and in doing so, to live authentically. Doing what you love is losing all sense of linear time and being in touch with your truest self. Loving this moment, whatever arises and accepting harmony and love express themselves in infinite diversity. Infinite love and blessings always. Love is the music of the soul

  • 22

    On 25 April 2015 at 12:33 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Hey, Sweet Linda, I bet your curves are wonderfully womanly and attractive!! I actually have thought of a 1-woman show, set in an Open Mike coffee shop! The protagonist is headliner and organizer of the O.M. And she might be having a somewhat long-running conversation with her Bestie about what’s been going on in her life. The Bestie sings her harmonies! And cafe patrons could cite lines leading into songs, if necessary. :) Who knows?!! As Liara points out — infinite diversity, sprouting from love.

    Dearest Liara — I love the “whatever arises” image. Reminds me that all souls are in our lives as teachers/blessings. Infinite love to you too!!


  • 23

    On 14 May 2015 at 1:26 pm

    Sara said, 


    I was at Lynn’s site today and saw your comment. I am sorry about the loss of your dog. Having had animals all my life, I know they become like family and you grieve for their loss, just like a family member. So, be good to yourself, okay?

  • 24

    On 14 May 2015 at 2:02 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Thank you, Sweet Sara. I put up a post on FaceBook with a photo a few hours after he died, but just haven’t had the heart to blog about it here yet. :( We sure do miss that little booger. But we know a new little booger is waiting for us somewhere. Going to adopt in a few weeks, after we get back from vacay. Thank you, you are so sweet to come over here, really appreciate your usual kindness. Think about you often, my dear!! And I will “try” to be good to me. :) You do the same, okay?!! xoxooxoxoxoxoxxo

  • 25

    On 16 May 2015 at 10:14 am

    Alice Audrey said, 

    I’m actually proud of myself for understanding all that. Seriously, I’m no musician. As to filling in the rhythm section – isn’t that what basses are for?

  • 26

    On 16 May 2015 at 4:17 pm

    Jannie said, 

    Hey, Alice! Of course you understand, you old smartie you! Yes, in a band situation I might get away with not playing guitar at all, but solo whatever I’m doing on guitar has to stand alone, and it can be a simple strum or picking pattern, just as long as it works — flowing under the singing. xoxoxoxo

  • 27

    On 17 May 2015 at 11:11 am

    Alice Audrey said, 

    Well, there are guitars and then there are guitars. I once had a master dobro player show me a few … um… strums? It got complicated fast.

  • 28

    On 22 May 2015 at 10:02 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hi Dear Alice Audrey. I’m meeting with Mardi Funster Sunday. I bet she will have a good musical idea, she’s quite a savvy jazzy music gal, really good on uke now.


  • 29

    On 8 June 2015 at 10:54 pm

    Alice Audrey said, 

    That should be fun.

    BTW, I love your Jack and Jill suggestions. I think I’ll use one next week.

    My next destination is Bali.

  • 30

    On 11 June 2015 at 11:13 am

    Jannie said, 

    Hey, Alice. Thanks!! You sure are creative, and whatever you come up with will be very interesting, entertaining and quirky. oxox

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