“Spirit!” Funny Keyword Searches — Summer 2010

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 14 September 2010 @ 11:15 AM 42 Comments

snowmobile_on_grass1

Searches that landed folks in Funstertown, as per my Google Analytics report.

JUNE
– best style for ugly guy
– cute little feet
– friday night activities for a guy with a broken arm
– gymnast pants on fire
– handsome men with chainsaws
– how many people broke their arm today (I don’t know, but so far I’ve no reports Kelly has. Knock on wood.)
– how to walk around with a wedgie all day
– why did my blueberries turn fuzzy

snowmobile_on_grass2

JULY
– after my morning coffee and some cookies i fall very fast aleep why?
– fun grocery stores
– japanese poltergeists
– magic perfect butt
– microscopic sidewalk bugs
– naked guy fishing
– satan’s pillow
– stay out of my wine doll
– what’s the best way to get 30 penguins in my igloo?*
– will ants attack chapstick?

snowmobile_on_grass3

AUGUST
– beware the blue beam
– can i drive my snowmobile on grass (no, not even on beer or wine — safety first!)
– dont let the bed bite you
– farm girl biceps
– going to austin to get me some pants
– i have 61 ant bites on my feet
– i have done good things lately
– i love jannie (ahhhh, I love you too!)
– naked mailman
– should I pratice guitar at 4 in the morning?

snowmobile_on_grass4

Photos taken in Canada by my beautiful sister at Mom & Dad’s farm deeded to our wild and happy Irish ancestors in 1830.

Posted with love by Jannie of the funstering fields and forests of frolic and fame.

xoxoxoxo

P.S. That woodpile of Dad’s?  Mom married her handsome chainsaw guy 51 years ago!!

P.P.S.  My American friends – 11/08/2006 means 11th August, 2006, not November 8th, 2006.

P.P.P.S.  The littler girl is Kelly – then age 4, the bigger one my niece, Alyssa then age 6.

:)

Whoo-hoo.

xoxooxx

*This refers to Clup Penguin, of course.

P.P.P.P.S.  Jannie loves you.

Crazy Bananas: Funny Keyword Searches, 8

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 13 June 2010 @ 12:02 AM 33 Comments

Crazy_bananas

What were some of the more notable searches in March, April and May that landed people on this site?

Funny you should ask!

My favorites…

QUESTIONS
–is there a national wedgie day?
–does glenn close play the ukulele?
–are mis-matched flip flops in style?
–what happened on May 10, 1970?
–where do I find green beer in austin?
–why do fire ants exist? i hate fire ants.
–is being a parent a constant nightmare?
–who is the constipated blogger from Dallas?
–how many bananas can I eat before I go crazy?

POEMS
–a poem to make my woman take out the trash
–dog surviving a hurricane poem
–peeing your pants poem
–poem about an ant bite on my pinky toe

ASSORTED BIZZARRO
–hi my name is austin and i love to go out and ride dirt bikes and go fishing so far my key board is working great, thats why im typing this
–my ghast has been truly flabbered
–i dont need any of your sassy frass
–my robot suit is squeeking
–medicare part d for dummies
–fun things to do with an empty ballroom
– a good recipe for donut holes
–!__ .. __! ….!..! love you! ….!..! 03!! __ !..!__ !______!”
–broken arm wine
–wearing pantyhose and sneezing

That’s it!

(and that’s my banana girl above when she was 5.)

xoxox

Too Much Tequila — I’ll Say!!

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 30 March 2010 @ 4:15 PM 52 Comments

image credit: photobuckettoo_much_tequila

Below are real searches that real humans actually typed to land on this site, from this past Nov. through Feb. I read them in my Google Analytics, THE awesomest website stats (free) service on the planet.

GENERALLY BIZARRE & REALLY BIZARRE…
– squirrels in bikinis
– fun things to do with hand sanitizer
– shirley temple bowling balls
– smiley the chainsaw man
– 50 things to do weird
– 3 legged goat
– riding a grocery cart poem
– pain-in-the-butt coworker poem
– why did orgo think his pants were too short
– a picture of a fish holding a beer bottle
– poems that are actually good instead of the crappy poems that usually come up when i press search
– fun things to do to strangers
– picture of ugly man in sink
– naked man in kitchen sink

UNDERGARMENTS …
– are girdles making a comeback
– bra joy
– tara’s miracle girdles
– how to make a bra for a goat

THE JANNIE CATEGORY…
– country jannie
– jannie weather reporter
– jannie madman
– jannie who sings at night in hawaii (Okay, okay — i just made this one up. “naked jannie” was the actual search, but I’m far too shy to ever reveal that.) :)

WITH  COMMENTARY…
– i cant wait to try out my new-found hypnotic powers on my neighbor (good luck with that!  and how did that go, anyway??)
– jannie goes to jail photo (No! They swore those negatives were all destroyed! Destroyed, I tell you!!)
– peeing your pants and heroin use (gee, I do pee mine on occasion, but I never touch the hard stuff.)
– i love my jannie (ahhh, thanks, – i love YOU too — whoever you are!)
– videos of kids chanting 13, then with 14 — a poke in the eye (ouch!)
– why is my wife the only one who makes me crazy (dude! that’s the post-Eden cosmic plan! yet, a new Eden does await, even at this moment if you so allow.)
– my area rug smells like hay (yeah, don’t you just love that wonderful aroma!!?)
– sorta long sweet things to say to a girl – (ahhh, that’s niiiice!)
– awesome buttocks (you know — some days I do catch a glimpse of mine in the mirror and I think “not bad.  not bad at all.”  must be all this cross-legged sitting at the computer, those 20-minute walks twice a week, and sucking in my gut twice a month.) ;)
–too much tequila, too little sunscreen (yeah, like i said up in the title…)

MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE…!
– hello person reading these searches. i see you! – (i see YOU TOO!!!)

Sweet readers, I hope some of these made you chuckle!  :)

And if you are new here and fancy more of these weird searches, they start here, back before I had my ludicrous-big photos.  :)

Thanks, Sweeties!!  I’ll be posting again in the next coupla days, so y’all come back now, ya hear!!?

xoxo

Weirder And Weirder: Funny Keyword Searches, 6

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 14 November 2009 @ 1:50 PM 49 Comments

chainsaw_woman
photo credit:  corbis images

And now the moment I know you’ve all been holding your breath for…   :)   “interesting” searches that landed people on this site in September and October…

– bra ads from the 60s with a cow
– what does dressed like bunny going down slide dream mean
– funny lost bra poem
– kids say the darndest things about pumpkins
– really good poems on why can’t a jelly bean talk
– 13 13 13 chant video finger eye poke
– bulgaria here i come
– crochet pants with monkey on butt
– goats in lingerie
– how to behave with bold and talkative girls
– inside my enchanted mind
– lady youtube carrot background
– oh deary me my granny caught a flea
– satan in a thong lyrics
– thangs to do when you are bord
– what can i do with my twinkle lights

And with commentary…

– can a woman start a chainsaw (something tells me the one above can, and I’d seriously advise steering clear of her.)
– suspect jannie (oh, yeah! I did it in the study with the candelabra.)
– spanking jannie (ouch – stop that!)
– jannie childhood mental illness (what was your first tip-off?)
– jannie barf (nope, not for maybe 5 or 6 years.)
– where does the chainsaw man live?  (I’ll never tell.)
– grate mysteries of the world (like the grate slide* below, you mean?)

grate_mystery
photo credit: fran worst

And fiends, I mean friends, if you were to randomly type in something hoping my site would pull up, what would you type??

– La Funstress
xoxo

* Neither Funsterment Global Inc., Blue Bunny Bloging Manigimints Ltd., nor their various subsidiaries and / or international holding companies condone grate slide implentation under duly diligent parental circumstances; therefore all Funsterment entities therein cannot be held liable for grate slide usage thereof, insofarasmuch all that stuff goes.

Just Plain What The Heck? — Funny Keyword Searches, 5

Funny Searches | Posted by Jannie on 20 September 2009 @ 8:12 AM 46 Comments


photo credit: Mid Life Slices

Friends, I started to categorize these into Butts, Bras, Typos, Miscellaneous and Just Plain WTH? but it seemed so many could be considered just plain WTH? so in random order I give you…  phrases people typed last month to land themselves in Funstertown.

– body cast tickling
– blue things you might see at a lake
– I’m 54 and I can’t find a good bra
– naughty sprites
– hipwaders for short round people
– jannie whopper
– are fruity rolls bad for dogs
– women chocolate tussle
– singing donuts
– is it okay to run in sports bra with slightly flabby belly
– trio of french funsters
– poem about missing someone who has dyed

photo credit: How Stuff Works

– how to hold a ukulele breast
– barbie cotillion crochet bra
– neighbor shows chest wearing loose shirt and short shorts
– lurker in texas lost pines
– humorous poems plus square dancing
– “she’s a very cheeky girl” song
– chainsaw man voice
– tiny tim donuts ingredients
– high school boys and jock straps
– If things were my way I’d put a condom on your heart
– shirley temple girdle
– how to take care of hip weighters
– how to behave in a restaurant [NOT!] :)

– retro fat butts pics
– retro hairdues
– what bra is good for sagging boobs
– fluffy fuzzy monster boots
– what is the name of song that goes whoo whoo whee whoo
– tilt of the kilt
– what does it mean if you have two voices in your head
– lolly pop cadence
– hell yes i’m crasy
– man girdle pictures
– bra connection wedgie videos
– who is the hootiest cutiest boy
– where to look for missing donuts

More of these strange searchword posts here…
Funny SEO 1
Funny SEO 2
Funny SEO 3
Funny SEO 4