Weirder And Weirder: Funny Keyword Searches, 6

Posted by Jannie on 14 November 2009

photo credit:  corbis images

And now the moment I know you’ve all been holding your breath for…     “interesting” searches that landed people on this site in September and October…

– bra ads from the 60s with a cow
– what does dressed like bunny going down slide dream mean
– funny lost bra poem
– kids say the darndest things about pumpkins
– really good poems on why can’t a jelly bean talk
– 13 13 13 chant video finger eye poke
– bulgaria here i come
– crochet pants with monkey on butt
– goats in lingerie
– how to behave with bold and talkative girls
– inside my enchanted mind
– lady youtube carrot background
– oh deary me my granny caught a flea
– satan in a thong lyrics
– thangs to do when you are bord
– what can i do with my twinkle lights

And with commentary…

– can a woman start a chainsaw (something tells me the one above can, and I’d seriously advise steering clear of her.)
– suspect jannie (oh, yeah! I did it in the study with the candelabra.)
– spanking jannie (ouch – stop that!)
– jannie childhood mental illness (what was your first tip-off?)
– jannie barf (nope, not for maybe 5 or 6 years.)
– where does the chainsaw man live?  (I’ll never tell.)
– grate mysteries of the world (like the grate slide* below, you mean?)

photo credit: fran worst

And fiends, I mean friends, if you were to randomly type in something hoping my site would pull up, what would you type??

– La Funstress
xoxo

* Neither Funsterment Global Inc., Blue Bunny Bloging Manigimints Ltd., nor their various subsidiaries and / or international holding companies condone grate slide implentation under duly diligent parental circumstances; therefore all Funsterment entities therein cannot be held liable for grate slide usage thereof, insofarasmuch all that stuff goes.

Just Plain What The Heck? — Funny Keyword Searches, 5

Posted by Jannie on 20 September 2009

photo credit: Mid Life Slices

Friends, I started to categorize these into Butts, Bras, Typos, Miscellaneous and Just Plain WTH? but it seemed so many could be considered just plain WTH? so in random order I give you…  phrases people typed last month to land themselves in Funstertown.

– body cast tickling
– blue things you might see at a lake
– I’m 54 and I can’t find a good bra
– naughty sprites
– hipwaders for short round people
– jannie whopper
– are fruity rolls bad for dogs
– women chocolate tussle
– singing donuts
– is it okay to run in sports bra with slightly flabby belly
– trio of french funsters
– poem about missing someone who has dyed

photo credit: How Stuff Works

– how to hold a ukulele breast
– barbie cotillion crochet bra
– neighbor shows chest wearing loose shirt and short shorts
– lurker in texas lost pines
– humorous poems plus square dancing
– “she’s a very cheeky girl” song
– chainsaw man voice
– tiny tim donuts ingredients
– high school boys and jock straps
– If things were my way I’d put a condom on your heart
– shirley temple girdle
– how to take care of hip weighters
– how to behave in a restaurant [NOT!]

– retro fat butts pics
– retro hairdues
– what bra is good for sagging boobs
– fluffy fuzzy monster boots
– what is the name of song that goes whoo whoo whee whoo
– tilt of the kilt
– what does it mean if you have two voices in your head
– lolly pop cadence
– hell yes i’m crasy
– man girdle pictures
– bra connection wedgie videos
– who is the hootiest cutiest boy
– where to look for missing donuts

More of these strange searchword posts here…
Funny SEO 1
Funny SEO 2
Funny SEO 3
Funny SEO 4

Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 4

Posted by Jannie on 5 August 2009

And now the July 2009 edition of “interesting phrases” people typed to find their way to Funsterland…

photo credit:citydata

– did shirley temple do crazy things
– turn up your hearing aid
– my hairbrush is down my girdle
– have you tried brabuddy
– I’m seeing the #44 all the time — what does it mean
– is there cinnamon in miracle whip
– hanging wedgie videos
– she had freckles on her but she was nice
– thank you poem for a school bus driver
– sugar lady is too fat for me
– milking cow songs
– my girlfriend puts quarters in her bra
– “girdle boy” stories
– big ass kim pictures
– bra connection wedgie pics
– i am walking in a diner doo doo doo lyrics
– funny things you couldn’t make up
– debbie shore legs
– a poem of feeling a sofa
– bra welder
– can poltergeists take things
– how to lift your spirits with the right bra
– I’m wearing my fishing waders for Christmas
– large lady videos
– my dog ate dried potpourri
– pain in the butt coworker poem
– the stylist noticed my husband’s bra while perming my hair
– reviews of twinkle dentist
– satan in a thong, lord knows she’ll do you wrong lyrics
– sentimental jannie lyrics
– you look pretty in a tree poem
– yard decorations with bowling balls

There are more of these weird searches in Funny SEO 1, Funny SEO 2, and Funny SEO 3.

Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 3

Posted by Jannie on 20 June 2009

photo credit: deefilly

Friends, more things people actually typed to land themselves here.

1: Bras

– elf flinging bra
– four leaf clover bra
– secretary must never wear a bra
– bra appreciation
– fitting men for bras
– bra cookies come out  (Yeah, I can totally relate!  And cake is even worse, especially the heavily-frosted kind.)
– lost bra poem  (Anyone inspired to write one?)
– boob sock (this category, right?)
– bras of the world

2:  Bords

– jump on a bord and make people fly
– i don’t know what to do because i am bord (Hey, that person learned to spell here!)
– fly like a bord

3: Hipwaders / Butts

– how to dress under hip waders (same as under a kilt?)
– do doctor take off pant to give the shot to woman in the butt
– naked hipwaders
– I love when my wife wears hipwaders
– fishing waders for a guy who wears size 42 pants
– i fell in with my waders video
– indentation buttocks
– powder blue fishing waders (yes, my favorite color too!)

4: Magic / Fuzzy

– pictures of monkeys wearing magic cloths
– crocheting your own fuzzy boots
– magic the pants
– fuzzy poet

5: All Else

– kick um jannie
– eternal smooches
– get freaking drunk
– jannie putter
– kitchie kookie
– bionic clover
– mood of poem to the virgin
– kungfonster
– hated because I have a nice home
– ten most popular places for missing passport to turn up
– I think I’m crazy keep doing funny voices
– caring for a milkcow
– why did orgo iron his four-leaf clover
– ill preparedness
– debbies dacshunds
– disappointed grandmother (Poor Grannie Jannie)
– circus striped pants 36
– first crush julie andrews
– real drunk russian
– allergic to ukulele
– debbie shore in thigh high boots
– girls chainsaws videos
– hanging wedgie dares
– i got talent chainsaw
– woman milking cow videos
– one sad old bunny is reading blogs

Folks, I couldn’t make these up if I tried! Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 2

Posted by Jannie on 16 May 2009

photo credit: about.com

May I please share with you some of the latest  keywords that actual humans actually typed to land on this, my humble site, as shown by my Google stats?  Why, thank you, I’d be delighted!

- almost passed out at sink
- asparagus tea
- ass-less hipwaders
- bra consultants
- being a drunk [Yup, that's me!]
- do greencarders need passport
- duct tape depilatory
- dylan thomas bra [Well, I never knew! Did you?]
- even amidst fierce flames the golden lotus can be planted
- eye-bug-you [Well, sorry, that's just the way I came.]
- fat guy in hip waders
- film with jannie the christian girl
- funstermagic [I like to think so!]
- fuzzy cookie monster pants
- granniepanties
- honest things in this world [Thanks, I do try.]
- how to play mission impossible on a ukulele
- I hear god’s voice in my head.  Am i crazy?
- I’ve got a chainsaw [Bring it on!]
- jannie supermodel [Hope I didn't disappoint.]
- jock straps with four leaf clovers
- male bra fittings
- margarita drunk vs wine drunk
- missing things from the eighties
- mortuary assistant cover letter
- poem great farting contest [What !?]
- real life pictures of loose pants
- real good poems about people running away
- shih tzu puppy eats potpourri
- shortest bike shorts
- talon twinkle [Yes, she does, doesn't she!]
- ten things an ideal woman should have  [Glad you noticed.]
- thick fuzzy underwear
- totally jannie
- wedgie dojo exercise video
- what mean asparagus hunted you

What about you guys – any “interesting” keywords that landed folks on your site lately?

If you too have Google Analytics but are not sure how to get to the keywords section, do this… Dashboard >Traffic sources > Keywords.  Easy!

Jannie In a nutshell, Funny SEO Keyword Searches, 1

Posted by Jannie on 9 February 2009

Photo credit: Image Shack

Prompted by the Blogging Guru, Barbara Swafford’s post last week called SEO  — Are We Getting It All Wrong,  I finally peeked at the site stats Wordpress Guru, Kim Woodbridge set up a couple of months ago for me.  I’d never checked them ’cause what I didn’t know couldn’t hurt me, right?  If new stumblers were fleeing in droves I’d be blissfully ignorant and continue happily blogging away with all you wonderful friends until my dying day.

Well holy cow, it seems more and more folks are not only finding me but are actually RETURNING here!   And as I commented to Barbara, here are some of the more “interesting” search phrases that landed folks on my site…

– golden bras
– lightweight drunk
– advanced placement essay naked
– brainwashed by Sarah Palin
– ass kicking bunny poem
– cash in my bra
– contortionism
– how to flounce
– I have lost my Jannie
– milking a cow poem
– migraine guitar lesson

Hey – are those me in a nutshell, or what?!?

I’ll be a total Barbara Swafford copycat here and ask the same of you — what kind of keywords are bringing folks to your site?   Do you use your stats and / or give any thought to your Search Engine Optimization?    Or do you even have stats and SEO set up?