Oh, My Wonderful (House Remodeling) Heck — Part One

So, above was about 20 minutes ago.

And below was about 3 months ago.

Same basic spot? Yep!

3 months ago I stood in our old front doorway to take the photo, but this window is now where that door was, so I can’t back up far enough now to get as wide a shot.

More “after” angles shall be revealed!

(Eventually.)

Remember how we had 2 front doors for so many years?  Maybe “Oh, My Wonderful… Part Two” will show how we now have just ONE front door!

Or maybe not. There will be tons more “Oh, My Wonderfuls…” here in the coming weeks, years and decades — you never know which one you will see next.

(All interwoven with my other usual shenannigans, of course.)

Like this…

My toes about 21 minutes ago.

Bet you weren’t expecting that picture next, eh??

(I did the basic pink, and Kelly put a coat of sparkles on top.)

xoxoxo

How To Make Window Shutters

Begin with one (preferably non-shuttered) window…

Procure some 1″ thick pine boards, dressed. (Naked ones are far too sassy.)

Cut boards to desired shutter height, less the height you want your 2 “end caps” to be. More on end caps in a minute.

Glue and clamp boards together for desired shutter width…

Depending on how busy your life is, allow glue to dry for 12 to 1700 hours.  Usually 12-24 hours is just the ticket.

Trim off any uneven ends…

Measure something…

Next… cut the end caps, same thickness and width as the shutters.

If possible, make funny faces when you saw, to improve performance…

The finished shutters in this blog post are 35.5″ high — 31.5 inch boards, with a  2″ end cap at the top, and another 2″ end cap at the bottom.

(Actually, I’m not even sure if “end cap” is the real term, but it hopefully gets my point across.)

Careful with that blade!!

Whee!!!  This is fun.

Gaze lovingly upon your growing pile of end caps – you’re doing a great job!

Stock up on them if you’ve  numerous windows to beautify.

Drill cute little holes in them.

Keep drilling — that whirring sound is so much fun!  Whirrr. Whirrrrr.  I could listen to that all day.  And sometimes do!

(Many of you know we’ve been remodeling and adding onto and more adding onto our house for 17 years now!  And more MORE adding on, but the more MORE will keep — we’ve years of blogging fun ahead – no need to rush into all this at once, right?  Right!)

Wow — nice drilled holes!  They look to be on 3″ centers.  4″  maybe?  (That’s carpenter lingo for — the holes are 3″ to 4″ apart.)

I’ve picked up scads of carpenter lingo over the years – such as “dressed” lumber, plinth blocks, 7-step crown moulding, wainscotting, finials, and coffered ceilings – to name but a few in my now vast woodworker’s vocabulary.)

Next… while your wife / photographer is in the house drinking wine and blogging, screw the end caps to the glued boards.

Trim off any uneven edges.

These don’t really need to be sanded — but sand if you desire.

Measure something again…

I’m not sure what gets measured or why, but measuring seems to be a good thing.

Meanwhile, back at some ranch or another – make a template for moons (if you like moons.) Stars are good if you fear moons look too “out-housey.” Any design of your choosing works, of course.  I notice cut-outs of 3-legged goats and flying cats are making a comeback.

Trace your moon onto what’s beginning to look a lot like a shutter.

Do a little jig with your jigsaw…

But not really.  NEVER dance while using power saws.  Or close your eyes. But you CAN do as many standing buttock tucks as you’d like while sawing – they’re actually encouraged for the best finished product.

Looking good!!

While your wife / photographer is in the house drinking more wine, paint the shutters.

To the bottom of each shutter, attach a hinge and a hook…

To the top of each shutter, attach another hinge — on the same edge as the bottom hinge!

Line up where you’ll screw the hinges on the windowframe… And watch out for mysterious clinging leaves…

Enlisting child labor is ALWAYS a good idea…

Next comes the part where the wine-soaked wife puts down the iPhone camera to hold the shutters while the huband screws them onto the windowframes.

Here’s the kind of wine the wife was drinking for this set of shutters – something cheap, yet upliftingly nonchalant with undertones of blatant anonymity and a whisper of smokey bravado.

Remember that hook 103 photos above?

It goes into an eye.

Use a masonry bit to drill the eye’s hole (if you’re working with masonry.) If you’re not working with masonry, give three “Whoo-hoos!” that you only have to drill into wood.)  (Unless you’re drilling into solid steel.  I know nothing about drilling into solid steel.  Or aged teak.)

Presto, the shutter is held back!

Whoo-hoo!

And that’s (pretty-much) how to make this kind of shutter — which, I must add — are decorative only, as per the way they are attached to the frames, and not meant to be closed to protect the window glass.  If you’re looking for that kind of shutter, I’ll be posting a how-to on them in October, 2016.

Thank you.

Any questions?

With Love,  Jannie

xoxox

P.S.  If  I am posting less than usual this coming week — please don’t worry –  I’ll be out scampering around the blogosphere reading all YOUR awesomeness, answering comments on this post, writing Actual Snail-Mail Letters, cleaning out the fridge (and freezer!) continuing with Kelly’s bedroom make-over, finally stenciling Kirsten’s chairs, and baking cherry pies – but not necessarily in that order.

xoxo again.

EDIT:  For LANCE!! Yes, my shutter guy is also very much a tree-house making guy!!

Texas Miracle Roses (a blog post in only 343 words — and 5 photos!)

See that picture directly above these words?  I took it, and the picture directly below these words this past late Tuesday afternoon.

Posed Kelly.  Poor thing, camera always stuck in her face. Such is the life of a model.

Here she graces the shed attached to our garage addition — all built by my amazing Jim, of course.  He even made the shutters with his own two hands.  And a power saw, or something.

That circle-top window shines from our new living room here, in all its not-quite-yet-finished glory. Christmas tree in there this year!??

Oh, Peeps!  I haven’t mentioned lately – but our front entry has progressed beautifully-much in the past couple of months!!  Yes, indeed. I’m dying to show you the updates, but want the gorgeousness to be just a smidge further along first. Remember our TWO  front doors?  Well, there is now A WINDOW where the old door was!!! Seriously!  So keep your dial tuned to the funsterment, okay?

Anyhoo, back to the roses and such… 5 years ago Kelly and I planted those and the other shrubs you see.

Was my first attempt at roses. I fully expected them to die of the dreaded black spot within the first year.  But I got lucky!

Don’t even remember what kind of rosebush it is. The really good kind, I guess. Blooms 8 months of the year with zero maintenance.

Next, a photo I took this past Monday afternoon…

(Poor trellis.  I should just take it down.  All the vines I’ve ever planted for it have ended up deer-munched. Yet, I like the trellis.  It looks so… hopeful!)

Notice more blooms in the Tuesday photos than the Monday?!

Aren’t flowers amazing!?!

Here’s a photo I took 5 years ago, when all was freshly new.

I’m the worst mom in the world for not getting a photo of Kelly beside the new plantings when she was three.

Oh well, I’m sure all moms miss a photo or two along the way, right?  Anybody? 

But… I think I redeemed myself a bit by snapping this of her and her pal Erika in November, 2008.

Have you ever planted anything that grew more wild, strong and beautiful than you had ever hoped??

Have deer ever munched your plants?

Have plants ever munched your deer? 

xoxo

A Little Home Improvement

A recent Before and After of our kitchen bulletin board, beginning with The After….

and exposing The Before…

OMG, that’s hideous!! Quick — put The After back!!!

Ahhh, thanks, Universe.

See?  I took y’alls advice to whip up a collage of some of Kelly’s art!

Uh-oh, I’m writing y’all again, y’all. 

Anyway…. 

Just a 5-minute collage job on my part.  I’ll probably re-do it with less pieces, so it can breathe better.  Yep, I’ll get right on that.  Today!  (Or in 5 years.) 

Wait!! I’ll be brave and confess The Whole Sordid Before, with 3 years of life overflowing since I pinned the first picture, calendar, memo, medal – or whatever it was I first pinned there during some now-forgotten organizational tizzy.

Okay — you know what’s coming again next,right??!  THE AFTER!!  QUICK!!!!!

Ahhhhhh.

It was time, People.  It was time.

Kinda like how I’m getting really really close to slopping that Kilz over her old bedroom wallpaper. 

You know how I try not to leap into these major life decisions!   

And… a closer-up of Kelly’s newest piece. Some fancy foil work she brought home last week from school. Her own design, as are all these.

Pretty fun,  huh??

And how’s YOUR bulletin board??    :)

(Hey, why the hell heck did that last smiley face go awry?!?)

With Love, From Jannie the Funstress

xoxoxo