Just a little ditty I wrote, inspired in part by a George Carlin bit.  God rest his funny soul.

For anybody who does NOT know what a wedgie is, see the second definition here.  

Wedgie Wedding  Lyrics

1. The church was filled with flowers
And three hundred close friends
My gown of lace was white as snow
And I had no split ends
Everything was perfect, just as it should be
Except for one small detail that was
Tugging at me…
I had a wedgie on my wedding day
It crept on up as Dad gave me away
I had a wedgie but I tried to smile
Takin’ the trip down that long, long aisle

2. The groomsmen and the bridesmaids
We had ten of each
Guys in black tuxedos
Gals in satin peach
Cold champagne was waiting,
Steak and lobster too
All that I could think of was where my
Undies had gotten to…
I had a wedgie of atomic force
I would’ve loved to give it a yank, (of course!)
I had a wedgie but what could I do
Standin’ at the altar with my love so true?

3. Your undies may be borrowed
Your undies may be blue
But never ever let your undies
Get the best of you
Listen, everybody, don’t do as I have done
If you can’t trust your bloomers
You’re better off with none!!
I had a wedgie that was just plain wrong
My French-cut undies turned into a thong
I had a wedgie, I’m tellin’ ya , man!
It really wasn’t part of my wedding plan.
I had a wedgie on my wedding day.
I had a wedgie –what more can I say??

Friends, I have exactly 100 of my “I Need A Man” CDs left from my first printing.  And once they’re gone — they’re GONE!! There may be a second printing someday, but with changes.  So these are unique.

Get one here — only $10.00, plus low shipping.   Mailed with moonbeams and mystic loving meanderings directly from ME!! 

xooxo

The obvious option of course, was to delete this video, and you’d never have been the wiser. But how could I possibly deny you the pleasure of catching me in this moment of complete idiocy? 

xo

Speaking of mail… I’ve let My Fabulous P.O. Box lapse, yes a shocker — my “super-semi-somebody” P.O. Box now set adrift in the big big world. Please forgive me if you recently sent me something there, I hope it is returned to you and please e-mail me at janniefunster @ gmail dot com so I can give you a probably non-fictitious snail-mail address for me.  

Thanks!

Christmas Time Is Here!  Whoo-hoo!!!!!

What’s your favorite Christmas song(s) or carol(s)?

Yep, another tune from my CD release party this past May, a song to be incorporated into the “I Need A Man” musical I am newly enthused about and back to working on again!

7 of the 12 tunes on My First CD and probably another 8 or 9 of the ones I’m writing now will comprise the show.  I still don’t have it all figured out yet, but hey – I’m confident the plot will fall into place and that after a rather circuitous romantic journey involving chainsaws, pastries and a motorcycle cop, a man will indeed be gotten for the protagonist.  I think her name might even be Esther Vonvandervester.

For me, the best thing is creating.  Such a rush to bring a song from a snippet of idea into a full-blown mini-story.

Whoo-hoo.

Here are the lyrics from the above tune, in case the slightly-less-than-pro quality recording was hard to make out.

Kissing 39 Good-Bye

1.
They’re Singing “Happy Birthday”
It’s time to cut the cake
Take me back to thirty
Is the wish I’m gonna make
Another year’s disappeared so fast
Fading forever like a fireworks flash
And I am, I am…
Kissing 39 Good-bye again
Kissing 39 Good-Bye

2.
Took my youth for granted
Thought I was the chosen one
‘Cause this isn’t how I planned it
I was supposed to stay young
Another year’s disappeared so fast
Fading forever like a fireworks flash
And I am, I am…
Kissing 39 Good-bye again
Kissing 39 Good-Bye

Bridge: La-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee
La-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da-dee-dum
Singing, singing “Happy Birthday”
La-dee-da-dee-da-dee-da
La-dee-da-dee-da-dee-dum

3.
All those pretty ladies
On the covers of the magazines
Those picture-perfect babies
Some still seventeen
Will see the years disappear so fast
Fading forever like a fireworks flash
And they’ll be, just like me…
Kissing 39 Good-bye again
Kissing 39 Good-Bye
Kissing 39 Good-Bye Good-Bye
Kissing 39 Good-Bye Good-Bye
Kissing 39…. Good-Bye

Y’all have a great day now, ya hear!!  xo

Wow, it’s been exactly 2 months since I released my CD.  Remember the illustrious May 10th date?  Well, I think I’m psyched to really start promoting myself to radio stations, etc.   Will y’all please be my life coaches as I venture yet again into Unknown Territory and face the fears of expanding my comfort zone?  You will?  Cool, thanks!  I feel ‘way better now. I really do. You are The Absolute Total Best.

xo